"Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share."
- Steve Jobs
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lola-Rose is dead.

Whatever I was expecting it wasn't this. It's like the whole world has stopped, everything is in slow motion.

I can hear Niall cursing and asking me what we should do. Lola-Rose is smiling up at me, seemingly unaware of what's happened to her. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Adele. In the crowd of people frantically bustling around her, her slim body is silent, unmoving as tears pour down her face.

But I can't focus on any of them. My gaze is locked on Lola's mother. Screaming and begging in agony and her pain tears at my heart. I want to comfort her, take the raw pain away from her.

"LOUIS!" Niall shouts, breaking my trance. "What are we going to do?"

I stare at him.

"I- I don't... I don't know..." I stutter in shock.

"We have to help!" He says urgently.

I look down at the scene in front of me. I can see a pool of blood under Lola's still body.

"She's fallen down the stairs..." I whisper. Lola's still torn between looking at me and the scene around her. I wonder how on earth she hasn't noticed what's happened to her.

"It's the shock." I realise.

"What?" Niall is looking round in panic and he begins to flicker again. This is too much for him and if I don't act then he's going to retreat into himself again and he'll be lost to me forever.

"We need to get Lola." I say firmly. "We need to get her away before she realises what's happening."

I shout her name and she looks up at me.

"Come here sweetheart." I smile. I can't walk to her, not with all those people around, one of them will walk through me for sure.

"I'm ok here thanks Louis." She smiles sweetly. "Adele is going to cut the cake soon and I don't want to miss it."

"Yes but I need you to come here." I grit my teeth and force myself to smile.

"Why?"

"Because... Because we've lost Mr T... Yeah.. We've lost him and he's probably alone and scared."

She pouts and I can see her debating this.

"But what about the cake?"

"Ok. You stay for the cake. I just hope Mr T is ok." I say desperately. I feel a stab of guilt for blackmailing her but I need to get her away before she looks away from me and down at her own body.

I just somehow know that if that happens, the shock of it will take her away entirely.

"No! It's ok... I'll help you look for him... Maybe Adele will save me some cake." She says kindly. She's trying not to cry at the the thought of missing the big event she was so looking forward too and I feel a stab of pity at her innocence.

"Of course she will." I beckon her and she walks towards me. My heart doesn't stop thumping until she's safely in front of me. I grab her hand and whisk her down the hall with Niall following quickly.

"I thought you said you were cold! Last time I tried to hold your hand you said you were too cold!"

"Yeah, well I'm warm today."

I pull her into the back bedroom and Niall follows looking bewildered.

"What are we going to do? She's dea-"

"Shut up Niall!" I hiss.

"That's not very nice Louis. You shouldn't tell people to shut up, especially not your friends." Lola informs me gravely.

I've never felt so stressed. My head is pounding.

Niall is still ranting about how I need to do something, Lola's telling me off for being rude and behind it all is the noise from downstairs.

I picture Adele's silent weeping before pushing it quickly from my mind.

Suddenly I know what I have to do, I have to convince her to go back, climb back into her body somehow. That's got to be it.

"Lola." I smile at her. "I need you to do something for me. Close your eyes."

"I thought we were looking for Mr T!"

"We'll do that in a minute. Just close your eyes."

She tuts impatiently then scrunches her little eyes up.

"Now..." I flounder for words. "Now imagine climbing into your body."

I hear Nialls exasperated sigh next to me.

"What?" Lola opens her eyes then laughs. "You're silly Louis."

"I know, just play along."

"This game is soooo boring though."

"Just close your eyes again." I wait until she complies. "Ok... I want you to imagine you're laid at the bottom of Adele's stairs-"

"Why?"

"Just do it." I say gently. "Ok... You're laid there. There is lots of noise all around you, but ignore it. You have to really, really picture it."

I can hear her heavy breathing as she tries it do what I've asked.

"I know that it might hurt, you might feel pain... But force yourself to imagine it. Make it real."

I watch as her little forehead scrunches up and she does what I've asked.

I'm waiting for her to disappear. I can hear that the paramedics have arrived and I'm waiting for that voice to shout that she's alive or something.

Instead all I hear is Harry's sad voice from in the corner of the room.

"It's no use Louis. It won't work."

I turn quickly to stare at him.

"Harry! Tell me how to make her go back! She's only a child! Her mum is downstairs waiting... This us why I'm here... I need-"

"You're right." He says sadly. "This is why you're here. But it doesn't work like that. She's quite dead I'm afraid."

I look at Lola's little face. Her eyes are still clamped tightly shut and she's pouting in concentration.

"No... Please Harry, I'll do anything! Just let her live!"

"Who are you talking to Louis?" Lola frowns, opening her eyes. Nialls just staring at Harry open-mouthed, Harry hasn't even noticed him yet.

"Har-"

"No, don't make her notice me! It's important that she doesn't see me or it'll be too late!" Harry stares at Niall. "Sweet lord... Is that Niall? Can you two see each other?"

We both nod.

"What's going on?" I'm so confused I can barely think straight.

"It's your choice, there's only one way to send her back. That's the reason that you're here."

"What? How do I send her back? Just tell me and I'll do it!" I say, relieved. I look at Harry's morose face. "Why do you look so bloody depressed? Tell me..."

I trail off as realisation hits me.

"I have to pass over to the other side in her place don't I? Then she can go back to her body..."

Harry nods slowly and Adele's face fills my mind.

"I can't..." I whisper. "You don't understand how much Adele needs me, she doesn't have anyone else, I can't just abandon her like everyone else in her life..."

"I tried to warn you not to get too close to her." Harry says softly.

"But I thought she was the reason I was here."

At that the bedroom door bursts open and Adele stumbles into the room, crying. Niall, Harry and I freeze but Lola barely notices.

"Louis..." Adele whispers. "Are you here? Something awful has happened.." Tears run down her face as she looks round the room.

"There isn't much time." Harry says urgently. "They'll be taking her body out of the house soon, you need to decide."

"Will I see Adele again if I pass over?"

Harry doesn't say anything. He doesn't have too because I know that the answer is no already.

I stare between the the girl I love innocent little childs face.

"Hurry up Louis!" Harry urges.

"Niall! Niall can pass over instead of me!"

"No, it has to be you Louis... I haven't got time to explain!" Harry says desperately.

"Please... Please Harry..."

"I can't change anything... I'm so sorry Louis."

And he sounds genuinely heartbroken. But it doesn't change anything.

I can hear movement and loud crying downstairs, there must be only seconds left.

I watch Adele. It's like time has stopped. Her slim body is doubled over in pain and she's sobbing my name. I know I can't make it go away... But I could comfort her. In her terror she's come looking for me. I was the first person she thought of, the one who could soothe her pain. She needs me.

I can't leave her.

"Adele?" Lola-Rose suddenly notices her. Of course, Adele doesn't react to Lola's worried little voice and the little girl starts to panic. She's suddenly aware that Adele can't see her.

"Louis... Louis I'm scared! I want my mummy!" She begins to cry loudly, terrified.

I stare between them.

I have no idea which one to leave behind forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN- What's he going to doooo?

I think we're about 2-3 chapters away from the end :(

I'm dedicating this to gingerniall thanks for reading love x