"I'm a grown man, James. You don't have to come out to the house with me. I can face my father and sister alone." Grayson said matter-of-factly when he realized that James was following him out of town….

Grayson was pissed that they'd passed through town in the first place. He hadn't wanted to but James had called him a coward. After knocking James off his horse for the insult, Grayson had determined that he had to go through town or else James would be proven right.

He had felt the stares on him from people that recognized him as he'd ridden down main street. He had done his best to look straight ahead and ignore the whispers. He hadn't been able to block his ears completely though and he had clearly heard the words 'brother killer' and 'cold blooded murderer' whispered more than once. Now that they were out of town he was glad to no longer feel all the eyes on him but he was dreading the fact that every step brought him closer to his father.

"I'm going to the house." James said and Grayson picked up on the nervousness in his tone. Grayson looked over at him. Over the last week they'd been riding together they had fallen back into their old friendship for the most part. Grayson figured it would take time before he was ready to completely forgive the fact that James had truly believed he'd murdered his brother in cold blood. But he knew that James had been right when he'd said that Grayson's temper had made it easier for everyone to believe bad things about him.

"Why?" Grayson asked. "And why are you nervous? You think my dad is gonna wave his gun at you for bringing me back?" James shook his head and tugged at the collar of his shirt as if it was suddenly too tight.

"I am not scared of your dad." James replied. "And I'm coming out to the house because my wife is waiting there for me." Grayson's eyes widened.

"You have a wife? You never told me you were married. Do I know her? And why is she out at my dads house?"

"Uh yea you know her." James said and Grayson noticed that James moved his horse several more feet away from his. Grayson raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Well….? Who is she?" Grayson asked.

"Your sister." James mumbled. But he mumbled the words so low that Grayson could not understand them.

"Who?" he asked again.

"Your sister." James said more clearly this time. "I'm married to Lauren. We got married a little over a year ago." Grayson pulled the reins of his giant buckskin and the horse came to a stop.

"You and my sister?" Grayson growled, his voice low and cold. James was finding it difficult to swallow around the big lump of fear in his throat. Grayson's temper was a thing of legends and Grayson's protective nature toward his sister and Callie had always been the quickest things in the world to bring that temper out.

"Uh.. I uh… I married your sister." James said, trying to sit up straight in his saddle even though his spine seemed to have disappeared. "I love her." he added hoping that this might soothe the big mans temper. Still Grayson just sat and stared at him. Finally James got tired of waiting for Grayson to respond so he flicked the reins and started back down the road.

It was several long tense moments before he heard Grayson's buckskin coming up beside him. He glanced at Grayson out of the corner of his eye and was surprised to see that he no longer looked angry.

"Congratulations." Grayson said. James stuck his finger in his ear to clear the wax away because surely he couldn't have heard Grayson right.

"Huh?" he said.

"Congratulations." Grayson said again. "Lauren always did have a thing for you."

"You're not gonna break my jaw or bust my head open or snap my neck or give me any other form of physically painful punishment?" James asked. Grayson chuckled.

"No." he said. "I know the kind of man you are so I know you'll be good to my sister."

"Yes I will." James promised. Grayson nodded.

"And if you're not then I'll break your jaw or bust your head open or snap your neck or give you some other equally painful form of punishment." he said. James nodded then.

"Fair enough."

888

Grayson saw the outbuildings on his fathers farm come into view. The house was hidden by the trees for the moment but Grayson knew that once they rode around the next bend they would be able to see it. Grayson wondered what his fathers reaction would be to seeing him again.

He fought the urge to turn the buckskin around and hightail it back the way he had come. The last time he had seen his father, he had told Grayson that he was as dead to him as Phillip and had told him, at gunpoint, to leave and never come back. Oh well, he wasn't here for that old man. He was here for his sister. He would do anything for Lauren.

They rounded the bend in the road and Grayson saw the home he had grown up in for the first time in five years. It looked exactly the same and Grayson stopped and stared at it in shock for several long moments. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He guessed he was hoping to see the farm falling apart and in disarray without him around since his life had certainly been falling apart and in disarray since he'd left.

"We've put a lot of money into keeping the place up and running." James said noticing the way his friend was looking around. "We had to hire a couple extra hands to help with the crops and the animals because it was just too much for me and Lauren to do by ourselves once your dad got sick." Grayson nodded. He looked at the barn and the hog lot. The chicken coop was bigger than the last time he'd been here but the woodshed and the smokehouse still looked the same.

"Have you planted yet?" Grayson asked. James shrugged.

"I've been gone a month so I'm not sure. I'd say they've gotten a start on it by now." Grayson nodded and turned his attention back to the two story white farmhouse. The black shutters looked freshly painted and hanging flower baskets lined the porch coloring it with pinks, purples and greens. Before Grayson could say anything else the big black door of the house flew open and a woman ran outside.

"Grayson?" She said and Grayson recognized his sisters voice. His eyes widened. She looked so different than she had five years ago. Gone was the skinny little girl in trousers with a dirty face and tangled hair trying to fit in with her brothers. She was a woman now and clearly had a woman's body in her tan work skirt and black blouse. Her brown hair was pulled back away from her face. She was smiling happily as she ran toward him.

Grayson jumped from his buckskin and she jumped into his arms. He hugged her tight and spun her around several times before setting her back down on her feet.

"You grew." he said noticing that her head came up to his chest now instead of his stomach. Lauren looked up at him and nodded.

"So did you." she said. Her fingers could barely touch as she wrapped her arms around him again. She had missed her brother more than words could say. He was as big as she remembered and she could tell as she hugged him that none of it was fat. He was built like an oak tree just like their grandfather had been. Lauren on the other hand was built like their mother had been and was very slender, almost dainty.

"How have you been, Lauren?" Grayson asked finding it hard to speak around the lump of emotion in his throat. Lauren gave a wary smile and glanced over at James. She wasn't sure if Grayson knew about him being her husband yet.

"He knows." James said and Lauren quickly ran to James and let him hold her tight. James kissed her hair enjoying the feel of her tiny body in his arms for the first time in a month. Grayson cleared his throat.

"Can you two give me time to get used to the idea before you start acting like a married couple in front of me?" he asked. Lauren blushed and took a step away from James.

"Grayson, I'm really happy that you decided to come home. I missed you." Lauren said. Grayson nodded.

"I missed you too." he replied.

"I'm sorry about how I acted before. I was confused and scared and I…" Grayson cut her off by raising a hand.

"I don't want to talk about that." he said quickly and Lauren realized that he still scowled and made a face almost like an angry bear when something made him upset.

"Well then let's go inside so you can say hello to dad and you can rest for a while. You both must be exhausted." Lauren said. Grayson shook his head.

"I don't want to talk to him." he said stubbornly.

"But, Grayson, he is sick. The doc said he probably doesn't have more than a few months left to live. Don't you want to make some kind of peace with him before he goes?" she asked. Grayson shook his head again.

"No. He told me himself that I am dead to him. I came here for you. To give you a helping hand around here and help you in whatever way I can." he replied. Lauren wanted to argue with him but she knew it would be pointless. Once her stubborn older brother made up his mind there was no changing it.

"Fine. Can we sit on the porch then and talk?" she asked. Grayson's face softened and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Of course. I have a feeling I missed out on a quite a bit while I was gone. You have to fill me in." Lauren smiled happily.

"I'll take care of the horses." James said happy to see the happiness on his wife's face. He knew how badly she had missed her brother and he was proud that he had been the one to find him and bring him home.

888

Grayson and Lauren sat on the porch and talked for hours. Lauren was happy to see that the longer they talked and laughed the more Grayson started looking and acting like the big brother she remembered. Yes Grayson had always been hot headed and bad tempered but he had also been quick to laugh and his left eyebrow had almost always been raised in a show of constant amusement.

That was why today when he laughed loudly and raised his left brow at her Lauren had nearly burst out in tears. He had looked so haunted and sad when he had arrived that she had worried he would not be the same man he'd been before…. True he still looked a bit sad. His laughter and smiles could not quite clear the dark shadows in his green eyes or ease the tension in his shoulders. But with that one laugh and eyebrow raise she knew her big brother was still in there.

"Well it's getting dark. I guess I'll head back into town and get a room. I'll come back out tomorrow and you can give me some jobs to do around here." Grayson said standing up. Lauren stood as well and shook her head.

"Don't be silly, you can sleep here." she said.

"The hell he can!" Jack Fields said stepping out onto the porch. Grayson looked at his father and was shocked by the change in his appearance. Gone was the proud looking man who had always passed off more as a brother to his sons than a father. He had been replaced by a feeble looking old man with graying hair, a stooped back and crooked knees. His skin was no longer tanned from the sun but pale and almost gray in appearance and he had dark circles around his eyes.

"Dad, please, he came all the way here…." Lauren said tears coming into her dark eyes. Jack shook his head.

"I thought I told you to never come back!" he yelled at his son and Grayson could hear the raspy quality of his voice and the way he seemed to be getting out of breath.

"I came for Lauren. She wrote to me." Grayson replied. He wanted to feel anger at his father. He wanted to feel that familiar sharp sting of rage but instead looking at this broken and clearly sick man, Grayson felt pity and pain. Regardless of what had happened between them this was still his father.

"Well as you can see the girl is fine." Jack replied harshly. Then Jack's eyes fell on the gun on Grayson's side and his eyes narrowed.

"You still carry that thing!" he demanded his voice raising to the point that it cracked. "The same damn gun you murdered your brother with?" Grayson felt his own anger growing but he tried hard to bite back the words he wanted to yell. He was here for Lauren not his father.

"I'll be going now, Lauren." he said looking away from his father. He kissed Lauren's forehead and was about to turn and walk away when his father grabbed his arm in a hard vice like grip.

"I can't believe you had the nerve to show your face here again! You killed my son!" he bellowed. Grayson was about to yell back when he saw his fathers legs buckle beneath him as his eyes rolled back in his head. Grayson grabbed him and lifted him up into his arms.

"Daddy!" Lauren screamed with tears in her eyes.

"Is he okay?" James demanded, running over to them. Grayson nodded.

"He just got a little too excited." he said. Lauren was crying but she motioned for Grayson to follow her into the house. Grayson carried the old man up to his bedroom and laid him in the bed.

"I'll send the doc out." Grayson said.

"Grayson, he does love you and he has missed you." Lauren promised. Grayson shrugged.

"He'll never forgive me for what happened." he said. Suddenly Lauren came toe to toe with him and he could see the anger in her eyes.

"It might help if you told us exactly what happened! What happened in that room that made it so you had to kill Phillip?"

"Yeah, son. Go ahead and tell your sister and I why you had to kill the best son I had?" Jack said from the bed. Grayson exploded with rage. He shoved Lauren away from him and into James's arms.

"Why the hell did you bring me back here!" he yelled at James. "Not a damn thing has changed. Everyone still believes that I killed Phillip while in some stupid drunken rage and in cold blood while he was trying to help me! I will always be the murderer! The brother killer!" Lauren was crying.

"No, Grayson! I don't think you killed him in cold blood! I just want to know what really happened!" she pleaded.

"Isn't it enough that I said it was self defense? What happened in that room is between me, Phillip and God and no one else. It was either I kill him or he was going to kill me and quite frankly I wasn't ready to die!" Grayson yelled. Then he turned to leave but stopped in the door and looked at his dad who was laying in the bed, his face red with anger.

"I'm sorry I killed your best son dad. If I could go back I'd have done things differently. I might as well have died that day anyway since I lost everything I had when I pulled that trigger. Bye Lauren. Bye James." Grayson walked out of the room and Lauren tried to go after him but James held her back.

"Let him go, honey. He has to work this out for himself." he said gently. Lauren glared up at him but knew he was right. She turned to her father.

"Shame on you, daddy!" she said sticking her finger in his face. "What would mamma say if she was alive? She would hate that this family fell apart like this and she would be ashamed of you and how you acted today. Grayson came back to us, daddy! Finally after all these years we had him back and you couldn't even give him a chance!"

"A chance?" Jack demanded though his voice was weak and his breathing was harsh. "He killed Phillip, Lauren. Have you forgotten that? Grayson was always bad tempered and mean! He's been in more fist fights than all the other men in this town put together! I find it very easy to picture him getting drunk and killing his poor brother!"

"Sir, I've never spoken against you before." James said stepping forward. "But I am going to do it now. Grayson is hot headed. Grayson has a bad temper. Grayson has been in a lot of fights and has a hell of a right hook but Grayson has never killed anyone in cold blood. If he says it was self defense then that is what it was." James wrapped his arm tight around his sobbing wife and led her out of the room leaving Jack alone with his anger, pain, confusion and thoughts.

888

Grayson wanted to just ride away. He wanted to head back to Kansas and never come back to this place where everyone knew his past but something was holding him back. He tried to tell himself he did not know what it was but he did.

Callie. He had seen his sister and he knew that she was well taken care of. She had a good husband in James and Grayson knew he did not have to worry about her. He had seen his father and realized that yes the old man was dying and, while it caused him pain, he knew there was nothing he could do about it and the old man clearly wasn't going to make peace with him. The only missing piece for Grayson was Callie.

He wondered if she was still living on that farm with her mother and stepfather or if she had moved out and gotten her own place. Or maybe she was married. He felt his stomach turn and his heart ache at that thought. He wanted to see her, to hold her, to tell her that he'd lied to her all those years ago when he had said that he didn't love her.

But what if she was like everyone else in this town? What if she believed the story about how Phillip had died? Grayson knew that if she looked at him and he saw the blame or the fear in her eyes that he saw in everyone else's, it would kill him.

He blew out a long breath and tried to push his thoughts away. It was too late to do anything tonight except go into town and get a room and a hot meal. He hated the thought of being around the people in this town but it couldn't be helped. He couldn't head out to Kansas in the pitch black of night with no supplies and the mercantile would already be closed. And, if he made the choice to see Callie, then he couldn't leave tonight anyhow.