Missouri 1878

Callie smoothed out her skirts as she sat down on a large moss covered boulder and looked around the small clearing. The sun was beginning to get low in the sky and she hoped that Grayson would get here soon because her mother and stepfather would be expecting her back. She thought of her stepfather and shivered.

He was cold and cruel. Nothing like the warm loving man her father had been. Her mother had been lost when Callie's father had been murdered two years before. His murderer had never been found and though Callie's mother had always had a habit drinking too much her habit became worse after his death. Callie had the scent of laudanum permanently burned into her nose since it too was always clinging to her mother as she walked around in a drugged and drunken fog. Callie often wondered how her stepfather Thomas was able to fall in love with her mother but then again she didn't think he really did love Susannah. Thomas seemed like a man incapable of feeling anything like love or compassion.

Callie missed the way life had been when her father had been alive. She would have been wearing a skirt that wasn't ripped and torn that was for sure. Her hands would not be calloused from the hard labor on the farm and her stomach would not be in a near constant state of hunger.

Callie's father had been a fairly wealthy man. Callie had no idea where his money was now. She was only sixteen, and a female, and therefore was quickly told it was none of her business by Thomas, the banker in town and the attorney left in charge of her fathers affairs. She wondered if it was coincidence that both the town banker, Ed Schmidt, and the attorney, Raymond Collier, were both good friends of her stepfathers.

Callie shook her head to clear the unpleasant thoughts. She didn't want to think of anything except Grayson. Her Grayson. Of course he had never said they were anything more than friends but that did not stop her from dreaming. Callie had been dreaming of being his wife for as long as she could remember. His family owned the land that connected to her families and back when her father had been alive the families had been very close. Since her fathers death they had drifted apart but that had not kept Callie and Grayson from remaining friends.

And every three days they would meet out here in their little secluded spot in the forest and he would sit beside of her and listen intently as she carried on about her life and told him all about her troubles. He would then, no matter how upset she was, find a way to make her laugh and he would tell her that someday soon she would be old enough to find a husband who would take her away from all of her problems.

Oh how she wished he would be that husband! Deep down she thought that he would be. There was something about the way she would catch his green eyes looking at her at times that made her think he saw her as more than a friend. She knew that he thought she was too young compared to his twenty-one years but she hoped that eventually he would get over that and they would move beyond friendship.

The sound of an approaching horse snapped her out of her thoughts. She worried about who could be coming and wondered what she would do if someone caught her out here alone. She was surprised when she recognized Grayson on the brown mare. He usually just walked the short distance from his families home. He brought the horse to a stop and jumped down. Callie could tell by the way his broad shoulders were sagging and the way his normally smiling face was lined with worry and sadness that something was very wrong.

She stood and ran to him and was surprised when he wrapped his arms tight around her soft waist and clung to her almost desperately. He had never held her like this before and she found her body heating strangely at being pressed against his. She pulled her face away from his hard chest to look up at his handsome face. She was shocked by the sadness she saw. His mouth was set in a deep frown instead of the normal warm smile. His tan skin seemed paler and his green eyes had lost their glow. He looked lost and it made her heart ache.

"What is wrong, Gray?" she asked softly. He removed his arms from her and took a step back looking awkward as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm leaving, Callie." he replied his voice full of the sadness she could see on his face.

"Leaving?" Callie repeated. What was he talking about? He had never before talked about wanting to leave.

"Yes." he replied clearing his throat. "I have to leave tonight."

"Where are you going?" Callie asked. Grayson shrugged wearily.

"I don't know." he replied. "I just stopped by because I knew you would be waiting and I did not want you to think I forgot about you." Callie's head was spinning as it tried to wrap around what he was saying.

"When are you coming back?" she asked as she moved away from him and sat back down on the rock. He ran his hand roughly through his dark blond hair which fell back across his forehead messily

"I'm not…." his voice broke and he cleared his throat again. "I'm not coming back, Callie."

"Why?" Callie asked softly as she fought to keep her tears from falling. Grayson looked away from her and stared out into the woods. His expression looked haunted.

"Things happened, Callie, and I was told to leave." he replied, his voice so quiet she had to strain to hear him.

"What happened?"

"You'll find out soon enough, I'm sure." he replied. Then he walked to her and surprised her when he fell down to his knees in front of her. "You're gonna hear things about me, Callie. Bad things. I just hope you know me enough to know they're not true."

"Gray, I would never believe anything bad about you." Callie replied laying her hand on his stubble covered cheek. She was surprised when he leaned into her hand as if seeking what comfort it could provide. Grayson had never acted this way with her before. Always before he had kept a certain distance between the two of them.

"I have to go." he said, standing suddenly and taking a step away.

"Gray, you can't leave me here." Callie said feeling desperation. "You are all I have." She saw the pain in Grayson's eyes at her words and she knew there was something he wanted to say but would not allow himself to.

"You'll be okay, Callie. You're stronger than you think you are." he replied. Callie shook her head.

"I need you, Gray." she said. "I love you." she added. The words were out of her mouth before she even had time to think about what she was saying. She bit her lip and stared at him waiting for him to respond. She saw him close his green eyes and take a deep breath. She swore she could see a look of longing in his eyes when he opened them again and looked at her.

"No you don't, Callie. You're too young to know what you're saying." he said. Callie was surprised by how badly his words hurt. She stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"I do love you, Gray. I have loved you for a long time and do you know what? I think you love me too." Grayson shook his head and took another step away from her.

"Callie, I'm no good for you. Not anymore. I really do have to go." Callie shook her own head and went to him throwing her arms around his neck. Her heart beat faster when she felt his arms close around her waist and he buried his face in her light blond hair.

"Take me with you." she said in his ear. She didn't know what had happened. She didn't know why Grayson was leaving. All she knew was that she would go anywhere to be with him. He was the only good thing she had in her life since her father had died. She couldn't lose him.

"Callie, I can't do that. I don't even know where I am going." he replied pulling her away from him.

"Then I will wait for you. You can send me word whenever you get where you are going and I'll come to you." Grayson took a few steps away from her.

"No, Callie." he said sternly. "I shouldn't have come to you tonight but I didn't want you to think I forgot about you." Callie was confused by what he was saying. His harsh words did not match the look on his face. She found herself growing angry in her confusion and her sadness. Why would Grayson hurt her this way? He was the one person she thought she could always count on not to hurt her.

"Grayson…." He cut her off by raising one big work hardened hand in the air.

"I don't love you, Callie. Not that way." Grayson lied. "And you don't love me that way either. You're sixteen and you're too young to understand what love means."

"Grayson…" He cut her off again.

"Get home now, Callie, before it gets dark and your ma and step dad start to worry." Callie felt her heart breaking into a million pieces as he climbed up into the saddle. He didn't even look at her again as he started to ride away into the woods.

"I hate you, Grayson Fields!" She screamed as tears flowed from her blue eyes, soaking her cheeks. "I'll never forgive you for leaving me here!" Still he didn't turn to her. She turned and ran blindly toward home. Grayson turned then and watched her run away. Her wavy light blond hair was bouncing on her back and her tattered skirt was whipping around her legs.

Everything in him wanted to jump from his horse and run to her. To take her into his arms and take care of her, protect her, love her… God he loved her. He had hoped to marry her someday but now that wouldn't happen. He had lost everything. He had no home and now no family.

"I love you, Callie Logan. I will always love you." he whispered, his words falling on the deaf ears of the surrounding trees. His heart was full of pain and aching with loss as he urged his horse faster, determined to leave the horror of today behind him.

888

Callie ran through the front door of the two story farm house she shared with her mother and step father. She had hoped to get to her room before either of them caught her and saw her tear streaked face and red eyes but her mothers voice brought her feet to a halt at the bottom of the stairs.

"Callie, where have you been! I was worried sick about you after what just happened today." Callie wiped her face on her light pink shirt sleeves and turned to look at her mother. She and her mother had similar enough looks that even strangers could tell they were related. Callie had her mothers tiny features, her heart shaped face, her full lips and her light blond hair. The only thing Callie had gotten from her father were his light freckles and blue eyes.

"What happened today?" Callie asked wondering if it had anything to do with Grayson.

"Phillip Fields was killed." Grayson's older brother? "And Grayson killed him."

"Grayson?" Callie gasped feeling as if the very floor itself was moving beneath her feet. She couldn't seem to get breath into her lungs no matter how deeply she breathed.

"That's right." Thomas's cold voice said from behind her. Callie turned to look up at her stepfather standing at the top of the stairs. "Grayson was drunk and causing trouble in town. Phillip tried to step in and help his younger brother and in his drunken rage Grayson shot him. You haven't seen Grayson have you? The sheriff is wanting to question him."

Callie's mind flew back to her conversation with Grayson earlier. 'You're gonna hear things about me, Callie. Bad things. I just hope you know me enough to know they're not true.'

"The sheriff already questioned Grayson, dear, and let him go." Susannah said matter-of-factly. "He said that since Phillip's gun was drawn as well it looked more like self defense and it was impossible to prove who drew first because there weren't any witnesses." Callie was surprised to hear how clear and strong her mothers voice sounded. She actually sounded as if it had been a while since her last drink.

"Yes, but Grayson's father knows the truth and that's why he ran that good for nothing murderer off. Good riddance I say! Callie was spending far too much time with him." Thomas said walking down the stairs with slow deliberate steps and smoothing Callie's hair from her face with his smooth cold hand. Callie shivered. She hated it when he touched her.

"Grayson wouldn't murder Phillip." Callie said with no doubts. She knew that Grayson would never murder anyone in cold blood. He was a good man. Even if he had just abandoned her.

"He did though my dear. He shot him straight through the heart." Thomas said his voice cold and his smile calculating.

"Callie, you look terrible." Susannah said laying her hand on Callie's arm. "Why don't you go up and get some rest. I know that Grayson was your friend and this must come as a shock to you." Callie nodded though she was only half aware of what her mother was saying. Her mind was swirling and yet none of the thoughts were clear.

Grayson was gone. She had thought he was a good man. A man who would never turn his back on her and a man who would never shoot his brother in cold blood. But the truth of the matter was that he had left her standing there in tears as he ran from town after killing his brother.

As she locked herself in her room only two thoughts kept running through her mind. Had she ever really known Grayson Fields and would she ever see him again?