Due to me not taking my medicine for awhile

I might be in the hospital

I'm in very big trouble BC I haven't taken them

Without taking my meds,  I can end up in the hospital,  and there wouldn't be any way for any one to keep me alive. 

It could kill me if I don't take them.

Someone called me a idiot and said 'thats  why she's trying to kill herself. '

I am suicidal,  but not as much as I used to be.

I still do some things,  but not where it could kill me.

I've been coughing up blood again,  passing out,  etc.

I tried to take them last night,  but I don't know where they are. I put them in a specific place,  and now they are nowhere to be seen.

I almost passed out in the store a few minutes ago. Everything started to turn dark,  and I was getting dizzy. My face turned more pale then usual and my hands and head were freezing cold.  I forced myself to get up though.

I'm looking for my meds though. I can't find them..