The moon was set beautifully high up in the sky. The fire was lit as it illuminates us all, making up a perfect picture of a campfire. Hoseok was telling us all about the story of how he was once hit in the face with a dildo by his sister. It was something along the lines of him catching her sister masturbating and thus how the dildo came flying in the air and hit him straight in the face.

Everybody laughed at Hoseok's funny story, especially his boyfriend who's all smiles and grin. Yoongi as usual is asleep, occupying one whole log. Jin was grilling some barbecues and would come back from time to time to check on us while Namjoon listened carefully to every story.

But I sat there lifelessly. It's like I'm with them but at the same time I wasn't. I was silent the whole time and I could feel how much Jin was dying to talk to me about earlier based on the sad glances he sends my way. I know he wanted to cheer me up and comfort me but he knows I need my space and I'm utterly thankful for that.

I'm not in the mood to speak or even utter a word. It's like my voice was taken away from me. I couldn't even look at all of them without feeling envious and sad, jealous of how they have their partners together while here I am, all alone.

When the boy completely was out of sight, I felt nothing but emptiness. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to react. Should I be mad? Should I curse him to death, or should I mope? I don't know anymore. Everything— it's all falling apart. The great walls of the empire Jimin and I built were being slowly destructed. I don't know what to feel anymore. I wanna hate him, but I know too damn well that I can't, and I'm afraid that if I keep this shit up, I'm finally going to shatter and break down into bits of pieces, and Jimin still wouldn't be there.

Everything's so fucking messed up in my mind right now. I don't know which voice to follow. I wanna get better, but how could I when my only remedy is him? All these thoughts were slowly consuming me. I want this to stop, I want this to end. I want to be happy again. Jimin please come back to me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I heard someone said behind. I turned to see a yawning Yoongi, looking like he had just woken up from his sleep. He then stared blankly at me before giving me a brief pat on the head. "Don't worry, he'll come around." he reassured.

"I hate how Jimin's being all papertowns and shit." I scrunched my nose in annoyance. He chuckled before plopping down on the sand beside me. "He gave me yet another useless letter, to what? To make me miss him more? Oh that son of a bitch."

"Easy there, tiger." He laughed, passing me the liquor that Namjoon handed him. "Here, have fun and let loose. If shit turns south tomorrow, just blame it on the alcohol." he said, opening his can of beer.

The hot liquor burned down every sides and corners of my throat, earning a satisfied sigh from my lips as it reached my system. Eversince he left, alcohol has been my best company. It never really failed to take the pain away. I longed for the temporary amnesia it brings. Because even just for a second, I wanted to forget. I want to let loose under the music without any worries bothering me, and alcohol is best known for doing all that.

"Feels good, huh?" I heard Yoongi say, sighing in refresh as he drank his can. "That certain sting in your throat, that dizz in your head and the bitter taste lingering in your mouth. It's like a drug, alcohol is like a drug." he shrugged.

I just listened at him, nodding along to every word he says. "It's because people like the thrill of mystery. Everybody longs for mystery. People get drunk to let loose and have fun but mainly, to wonder what shit they did last night." He quoted with his hand. "Mystery is such a good thing, especially when you're adventurous. The thrill of not knowing about something is fun, the adrenaline rush through your veins as you think of the possible aftermaths of your actions today."

He paused, taking a sip of his beer. "And that's what everybody's problem is." He sighed, his gaze now at me. He stared deeply in to my eyes like he wanted me to listen carefully to what he ws about to say. "People so loved mystery that they seek for adventure to find one, unaware that they're also a mystery themselves." My forehead creased. I'm lost. He just chuckled at me, patting me on the head.

"Hyung, I don't understand." I frowned.

"Well it's because you're also a mystery yourself." He shrugged, taking yet another sip from his beer.

"You lost me, hyung." I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck. "I don't get a word you just said."

"Just think about it, what is it that you really want?" He raised a finger and pointed it in against me. "Do you really know who you are? Are you who you really think you are or, do you really want whatever it is that's in your mind right now? if so, then are you certain it is indeed what your heart desires?"

And that was enough to have me thinking. I honestly have no clue to who I am. I'm very certain that I want nobody but Jimin. I desire him, his whole being. I want him back. I want to witness his smile yet again. I want to feel his soft and delicate skin against mine. I want park jimin— that was no secret. I want him, I am certain of it as for today.

But what happens after all that, if he comes back, am I certain that I'd still want him? What chapter comes next?

"I said just think, not drown yourself in thoughts of it." Yoongi's chuckle brought me from my train of thoughts. He gave me a pat, now a different liquor in hand. Have I really been spacing that long? "Don't find the answers, kid. Wait for it and it'll come to you. Stop stressing yourself, it's the night to let loose and have fun. Now drink." He pointed at the almost untouched liquor in my hand.

"Jungkook!" I heard e deep voice called before a barbecue was shoved in my face. He was grinning from ear to ear, wiggling the piece of food a few inches away from my mouth. "Here, eat this. It's really good, your brother made a special sauce for it." he cheered.

I took a bite of it and savoured the delicious piece of meat. Taehyung then shoved it next to Yoongi who scowled but ate the barbecue anyway. "Anyways, you both looked so stern. What were you both talking about?" he asked, raising an innocent brow, staring at us with large eyes as he took a bite on another barbecue he has in hand.

"Mysteries." Yoongi casually replied, reaching to grab another stick of food from the latter. Taehyung just nodded his head and gave me a small smile when he caught me staring at him.

"Are you certain about Hoseok hyung?" I blurted out of the blue. I heard Yoongi chuckle beside me while Taehyung frowned, stopped from chewing his food as he raised a brow at me.

"Hyung what did you do to this innocent young child?" He asked im disbelief, earning a smack from the mint haired male. "The hell you've been telling him?"

"Mysteries." Yoongi snorted, earning a chuckle from us both.

"You didn't answer my question, hyung." I nudged taehyung by the side. He laughed before nodding his head. "Are you certain about hoseok hyung? are you anywhere sure that you're still certain about him when tomorrow comes?" I asked.

He frowned, like he's in deep thought before breaking into a huge grin. "You wanna know what my answer is?" He raised a brow, earning an eager nod from me. He chuckled before ruffling my hair. "I say fuck it." he cheered, raising his hands in the air.

Yoongi laughed, shaking his head whilst I remained frowning. I honestly expected for a decent answer, not this. Taehyung must've got my irritation when he draped an arm around my neck. "Fuck whatever happens tomorrow, Jungkook." He smiled. "Live for today and your tomorrow shall come fourth. That's how you cheat on life— how you cheat on love."

"Learn what's the meaning of today and there, you shall find the answers to your every question." Yoongi added, sipping on his beer.

"Okay," was all I could utter, a huge smile gracing my lips. My eyes locked with brother's who's grilling more barbecues. He gave me a sweet smile and I returned one as well. He felt relieved to see me smile, like finally he was able to breathe.

"So, are you certain of Jimin, kook?" I heard Taehyung asked, a small smirk playing on the corners of his lips. "Are you anywhere sure you're still certain about him tomorrow?"

I took a sip of my beer, sighed in delight as the burning liquid filled my system. I grinned and spoke, "I say, fuck it!" I screamed, raising my hands in the air like how he did earlier.

Namjoon and hoseok who were having a conversation stopped as they stared in our way, along with Jin who paused from grilling to stare at us as well. Taehyung raised his fist in the air and screamed along with me whilst Yoongi just chuckled and continued sipping his drink.

Better hide well Jimin,

because I'm coming for you.