Breakfast was awkward, nobody said a thing, not even good mornings and such. The only noise could be heard was the utensils and Seulgi's gentle coos as she tries to feed her son who constantly tries to get off the chair to play outside.

Aside from that, the atmosphere was very intimidating and uneasy. Glances were shared between all of us except for Taehyung who never dared to look up from his plate, stuffing his face with food like he wants nothing but to speed time and leave. Hoseok on the other hand, sat a few chairs away from his usual seat, eyes blood shot red probably from all the crying last night while he peaks glances to his now ex-lover from time to time.

"Jungkook, drink your milk." I heard my brother whispered from my side, his voice almost inaudible like he was afraid he might disturb the silence formed. I wanted to protest when he beat me to it. "It's going to be a long day, you need your energy."

And upon hearing this, namjoon reached for the plate filled with bacon and distributed three to my plate, the same time seokjin reached for the milk to refill my glass. "Eat," they both whispered.

A low "Thanks," was all I could muster before finishing the food laid in front of me as silent as I could, afraid that I might make things even more complicated if I were too loud.

Just then, Taehyung stood up, muttered a small "thanks for the meal." before disappearing upstairs. My eyes then landed to hoseok. He looked like he no longer had the appetite to eat and seems like he's in deep thought.

The dark circles and heavy bags under his eyes were a great proof of last night. It's like his eyes somehow lost it's radiance and replaced by blues instead. "Go after him, you idiot." We all snapped our heads to yoongi. He was eating, eyes never leaving his plate as he speaks. "Taehyung might be overreacting but trust me, he's not. He's insecure, he needs assurance and nobody could give that other than you. So go, don't be stupid and just do nothing."

"He's right, ya'know." Namjoon interjected.

"–but how?" Hoseok whimpered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "He wouldn't even look at me. So tell me how? What can I say or do? He hates me now."

"You don't have to do nor say anything, hoseok-ah." Yoongi, for the first time, dropped his utensils and stared at hoseok.

"Then how do I win him back?" Hoseok was desperate, tears cascading down from his eyes.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see Jooheon tugging on Seulgi's sleeves, tears on the corner of his eyes and his low adorable sobs audible. Seulgi has no choice but to excuse herself and comfort the crying child, but not without leaving a soft peck on yoongi's cheeks.

"You love him, hoseok-ah," Namjoon winked before standing up from his seat and started clearing the table, followed by seokjin and yoongi who started gathering our plates together before the three of them disappeared to the kitchen, leaving only me and hoseok alone.

I bit my lip, not knowing what to do or say. I suck in comforting people and I'm no good with advices either, especially when it comes to relationships and love. Besides, I'm just as broken as he is, so what right do I have to comfort him?

I played with my fingers under the table instead, heaving a sigh and pursing my lips into a thin line. I've never been in a relationship before so I could never really tell how shitty or how wonderful being in a relationship is. But I've been in love and I still am, and one thing's for sure, it hurts like hell.

But I guess, love wouldn't be love without pain. Love wouldn't be as precious and as dear as it is if pain isn't involved. To love is to feel pain, I guess? It's like a total package. It's like if you haven't felt pain then you haven't loved at all.

"How did it felt, jungkook-ah?" I heard hoseok ask, making me look up from my hands and lock eyes with him. "When jimin left, I mean. How did it feel like?" he ask me, his voice gentle but with a hint of pain laced in it.

I was silent, brows furrowed as I recalled every sleepless night, every unwanted whimpers and sobs that I shed the first few months he left and never came back. "It was beyond anything, hyung." I managed to reply, a bitter smile probably displayed across my face.

He chuckled, but it sounded empty and emotionless, "Love really do fuck us all up." he looked away, pained as he stared at the stairs where a newly clothed taehyung is marching down. He smiled at me once he reached down but just gave hoseok an empty stare before going elsewhere, leaving hoseok sighing and with a broken heart.

"—but it's worth it, I guess." I pursed my lips when hoseok turned to me upon hearing those words. "I think it's better than not experience love at all, hyung."

"Yeah," he broke into a small smile, his eyes sparkling for a moment before it disappeared immediately.

"Yoongi and namjoon hyung's right, ya'know?" I found myself shrugging. "Why don't you go after him? You don't have to necessarily do something or say something to ease him, just be there for him, hyung. Sometimes silence is louder than any yells and screams combined."

"It's not that easy—"

"With love, nothing is ever easy, hyung." I interjected, remembering namjoon's words weeks ago. This shut hoseok up as he opened his mouth to speak only to close it back again. "You know you're lucky, hyung.." I told him, earning a frown from him.

I sighed and gave him a sad smile. "You're lucky taehyung's still in your reach. You could simply walk up to him and fix your shit while I'm here stuck looking for someone who doesn't plan on being ever found." I told him. "You could just walk up to him, tell him your sorry and i love you's without the great hindrance of searching for him. You're lucky hyung....really lucky."

He could only stare sadly at me, probably pitying me for being this hopeless. I can't blame him though, even I pities myself. Hoseok reached from across the table to give my hand a soft squeeze, his eyes silently telling me to have faith and hope for the best.

But I couldn't.

"You asked me earlier how it feels, right?" I smiled bitterly at him. "It was beyond anything, because it's everything, hyung. It's like my whole world vanished in just a snap of a finger, just like that." My eyes blurred, biting my lip to stop a sob or a whimper from escaping.

"And you know what hurts the most? It's the fact that I never even got to tell him how much he means to me. I never got to tell him goodbye. I never got to tell him how much I love him— and the possibility that if I only I could've been courageous enough to confess....he might've stayed."