"This is a story about hockey's culture, about its unspoken but understood norms that are communicated by players in ways big and small. It's a story about how bonds are created through the sharing of secrets. And it's a story about privilege, which so many [...] enjoy because their role as elite hockey players means that the societal norms others are expected to follow do not apply to them. They exist in a society where the rules are different."

—Rick Westhead, "We Breed Lions: Confronting Canada's Troubled Hockey Culture"

"How do you get to a point where there can be honest, if uncomfortable, discussions about a beloved sport that purports to cut across cultural, geography, and socio-economic lines to unite us? How do you convince those who are the gatekeepers of the game to acknowledge that the system is deeply flawed and needs to be reformed?"

—Rick Westhead, "We Breed Lions: Confronting Canada's Troubled Hockey Culture"

"I resent you for being tall
I resent you for never getting in any opposition at all
I resent you for having each other
I resent you for being so short
I resent you presenting your life
Like a fucking propaganda brochure
And I see that you keep trying to beat me
And I love to get up in your face
But I know that if I hate you for hating me
I will have entered the endless rage."

—Fiona Apple, "Relay"

Quinn Kelsey can't remember a time when she didn't love hockey.

It's in her blood.  Her parents. Her friends. Her beloved professional hockey player brother who she looks up to for everything. Hockey raised her. It surrounds her. It consumes her.

Then whispers begin to swirl, catching the attention of those within the league. And then the fans. And, soon, the rest of the hockey world. What lingers in the darkest corners of a community built upon secrets, hierarchy, and brotherhood grows into a roar that must be reckoned with.

Quinn doesn't know what or who to believe. She's spent her entire life around these people. They raised her. She loves them. But the stories cannot be ignored, no matter how hard she tries to forget about them. Everything she's ever known begins to unravel, and Quinn finds herself confronting the truth of her world on fire.

Even if it means breaking her heart.

I started watching hockey after getting flooded with hockey content thanks to Heated Rivalry. Going to sporting events is much more fun than most sports are, in my opinion, but hockey is (unfortunately) one of the more entertaining to watch.

I find the culture around hockey fascinating. Maybe it has to do with it not being prominent where I'm from. I found myself wanting to learn more about the fanbase, especially because I saw it stated by many lifelong hockey fans that there is a great divide between the political leanings of many within the fanbase and the leagues/organizations themselves, which is only further driven by the new wave of fans coming off the heels of Heated Rivalry fame and the Olympics.

While I am inclined to agree with that assessment, I still find many facets of the hockey fanbase to be quite... interesting. Very indicative of the problems I have with many center/left-leaning and progressive spaces around important conversations and wanting to effect serious change.

I think many hockey fans are much more progressive than the sport itself.

I also think many of those hockey fans aren't as progressive as they believe themselves to be, and don't want to tackle the actual culture around hockey, but, rather, are content in focusing on high profile names because it's easier than acknowledging their favorites contribute to and/or are complicit in some way to the culture as a whole.

Important note: this is not a romance.

This story should be taken as a critique of the sport and its culture. If we want to see change—whether that's in sports, entertainment, etc.—we need to hold everyone accountable and tackle the widespread issues that allow this toxic culture to continue to exist. This is not focused on a specific player, team, or organization. Players of one nationality are not inherently better than another. One country is not any more morally righteous than another (I'm looking at you, Canada, and I'm not sorry). They are all complicit in the longstanding culture of hockey, and need to be criticized and held accountable for their actions (or lack thereof).

One question I've seen quite a lot from hockey fans: how can I continue to support a sport that I love so much but has so many problems that need to be fixed? Do I abstain from supporting it completely? Is that the only real way to send a message?

Or... do I continue to take up space and use my voice and existence to help push the sport to a better place? Would leaving simply allow more space for people who will maintain the status quo or, worse, push the sport backward?

As a lover of film, television, and music, I, personally, ponder this question a lot. So much of entertainment and media is run by people I wholeheartedly disagree with or outright despise. No matter how you try to support good people, you can find ties somewhere to someone much worse. So I get it. I empathize with sports fans who face this dilemma, as this obviously goes far beyond hockey.

I want society to change for the better. We must all decide in what ways we are able to contribute to that. And that effecting change requires more than just one person.

↳ content warning: themes and depictions of sexual assault, exploitation, abuses of power, and misogyny/gender-based harassment.

↳ the opinions of these characters may not necessarily reflect my own.

↳ please refrain from leaving excessive comments referencing other books, tv shows, movies. we are here to discuss my work, not someone else's. additionally, please keep discussions of real life people/events to a minimum throughout the chapters. i do not want this story to be conflated to specific real life issues. effort is being made to make this as separate as possible while still trying to tell the story i've been picturing in my head, out of respect to everyone involved.

↳  i reserve the right to delete any rude/disrespectful/harmful comments of discriminatory nature. my books and their comment sections will always remain a safe space. anyone who cannot contribute to that will be blocked and reported if necessary.

↳ please note that this is a first silly draft and I am not looking for critique at this time. mahalo!

© 2026 Stephanie Midorii, smidorii

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are either products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to any real persons or events is purely coincidental.

tldr: plagiarism is shitty so don't do it!