You aren't the type of person that can be put into words. You are the type of person that to understand, you have to hang out with. Growing up in the same house as you, I did a lot of that. You are.. Something else. Maybe it's because we sleep under the same roof, but you are the only person I was never afraid would leave me. I knew that no matter what, you would love me. You were the only person who didn't see a mental girl when I was diagnosed. You still just saw.. Me. When they threatened to put me in a psychiatric hospital, you didn't even care. You didn't treat me differently at all. You were exactly what I needed, and you didn't even know it. It's crazy how much you can love someone without even realizing it. The truth is, there is nothing I wouldn't have done for you. Honestly. Especially when I realized that the only reason I was even trying to live, was you. When I was asked in therapy, if I had a single reason to keep on living, I nearly cried when I couldn't think of anything. I had a great best friend, who I loved and adored. I would have gone through hell and back for her. I thought she would be my reason. But, I realized, somehow, I didn't even want to hold on for her. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to die. Then, I thought of you. My little sister. My goofy, smart, beautiful little sister with so much lust for life. I realized that somehow, I had never noticed how much you meant to me. And I knew I had found my reason. You saved me that day. You save me every day. And you don't even know. Needless to say, I came home and gave you the biggest bear hug in the world and kept telling you how much I loved you. And if this hurts you, I am so sorry. Please don't lose that spark in your eye like I did. I had to grow up too fast, and I did everything in my power to make sure you didn't have the same fate. However, with this decision I fear I may have done the opposite. I am truly sorry. Do not ever doubt my love for you. It's just that, at some point, you can't keep living for other people. I did it as long as I could, I promise. I did it for you. But I couldn't do it anymore. It all became too much. I was already gone. I had been for years. Now it's just real to everyone, instead of only me. But you will always be my little sister. My only reason.