She would awaken by morning, tired and feeling unsafe. Two am and five am, the times she would awaken and not be able to get back to sleep, six am and ten thirty pm the times in which the day started and ended.
And every hour she lay awake, or her mind endured dreams the Wolf would roam its cages. Because it was the Wolf that clawed at her, it was the Wolf that made her too afraid to speak to others, it was the Wolf that made her look over her shoulder, it was the Wolf that she could not control or contain.

It created fear, not just of the mental scars people could see, but how it messed with her, how it made her feel like a scared animal trapped in a cage, a monster it was and took over her. But she was not a monster... she was... she was herself.
But she didn't feel that way and, when anger takes over her she runs, or she freezes and she cries.

Just like when fear takes over she runs, or she freezes and she cries or she panics and faints. Because the Wolf claws at her and tells her to fear everything and everyone. And she does, because the Wolf takes over her every minute of everyday and it just gets worse on that one day of the month when it breaks free of its human confinements and roams free for everyone to see.
Some people laugh, others threaten, some understand, others don't believe in 'werewolves' and some actually do physically abuse it out of you, it was her mother that did this, except it only put more into her. And caused more illness.

Her parents wouldn't get her checked, and they caused the illness to worsen, and they yelled and hurt her, only to build up her trust and break it until she hated them all. They caused her pain and wondered why she gave them 'attitude' and told her to be more out there and yelled when she physically couldn't because the wold had her in restraints. It had her all tied up.

And people would ask her, 'if you know it's all in your head why can't you get over it?' And she couldn't answer them and if she did it was with a 'it doesn't work that way' which would only bring on more confusion and more bullying.

Everywhere she went it was a whole new way just to say 'you can't handle it.' Which made hate fill her every being as the waves she couldn't face came crashing and receding, crashing and receding all over again and again and she couldn't stop it.

She refused to cry in public because the Wolf told her it was unacceptable. She had been living in the motel of broken dreams with the Wolf for far too long, yet she couldn't book out. She had no way of leaving, and her parents would come over, her father with a sad smile and her mother with a malicious glint in her eye as she grabbed her belt for not speaking when told to despite not being able to. The Wolf had forbidden it, no words could reach out and she was left standing in silence. She just couldn't do it anymore. But she was too afraid to do anything about it. She was stuck.

It was now that she realised she'd never be able to get a job, never be able to speak in public without feeling judged and having a panic attack half way through, she would always have that looming fear her mother would appear and beat her, the Wolf always forced its opinions on her.
You'll never be accepted if you do this...
You won't ever make a living
They're all going to hurt you
You won't see another day after this if you stop fearing.

And she did fear because she couldn't stop, they were all out to get her and the Wolf was the cause.

She feared death, she feared her parents and brother and family and friends, she feared the teachers and peers, she feared love, she feared trusting anyone but herself, she feared being broken, she feared judgment she feared all, and when somebody fears everything they become exhausted and just as her mother feeds off fear, the Wolf feeds off exhaustion.
And exhaustion is what she had bulk of.
Because she feared so much she could not sleep, she feared the Wolf, she feared herself and lies. And she couldn't stop. She couldn't sleep because she couldn't stop, she couldn't stop the fear, she couldn't stop her mother and she couldn't stop death, she couldn't prevent love, or teachers, or peers or her family or trust or judgment. And she couldn't stop anything if she were to be broken. And all the thoughts swirled around in her mind, some recent others from years gone by and she couldn't stop, she was exhausted but time stops for nobody and no one could make it. But as exhausted as she was and as fearful as she was, she put up a smiling front and all believed her.

Sometimes she was truely happy, and that was when she was away from her family, the place and the people that brought the Wolf, just for her. But it wasn't a hefty price as it may seem to be, no... all they had to do was let loose their anger and misunderstanding and hatred upon her and the Wolf was sold, and will never leave its new home.

Because she feared that if she were to sell it on somebody else would have it worse, somebody's health would be at stake and she was not prepared for that, not at all. It would be all her fault.

But the Wolf that they bought had another name, a name many teachers utter and many peers too, but they would never understand the extents that she held it... Anxiety was its name and it clawed its way through all. Despite how strong or weak they had started out, the Wolf, Anxiety would tear them down.