The "Problem" with me...
I am a very strange individual.
I have Asperger's syndrome, which is a form of autism where people , who have it , have extreme social anxiety and communication problems. I have struggled with this my whole life and am slowly getting better at this.
I have been bullied my whole life by people who think I don't belong. All through school, and even my step father have hurt me. Due to that I have a hard time trusting people. I always think that they are going to hurt me.
I have never been good with speaking,( probably due to the Aspergers) . I much rather write things down. Therefore when I try talking to people, I trip over my words and make a complete fool of myself.
I have extreme panic attacks. I forget how to read, and my families names. I shake and feel sick to my stomach. I can't sit still and my eyesight gets blurry. It is really scary and I hate it. I have pretty much overcome this obstacle for I can control my panic before it gets that bad most of the times.
I have a hard time standing up for myself because I was punished by my step father if I talked back to anyone. So I learned to keep my mouth shut and my emotions inside. Not healthy by a long shot but it was the only thing to do so I wouldn't get in trouble.
I get depressed easy. I don't share my feelings to anyone because no one in my life really cares so I bottle them all up inside. So when it gets really bad I write or play the piano and sing to help me with the pain.
So these are a few of my " problems". I know people don't want to hear about other people's problems but it helps me come to terms, if I share them. So here they are. Take them as you will!
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