The light eased and finding us standing in an empty restaurant was a surprise. Turning around, the outside appeared very real, even though the view that surrounded us was too beautiful and perfect. The man that slipped inside behind us had a rush of cold air following behind him before he closed the door which instantly made me shiver.

He didn't look at us, slipping down a narrow corridor and disappearing from view. Hugging the black cashmere coat I had on tighter against my body, I wasn't complaining about my new outfit as the air stayed cold.

Gaia looked very much at home here strutting forward without a second thought. She lost the super powerful deity impression I was growing used to and now looked as though she'd just stepped off her private jet, dressed in winter fashion that had yet to be seen anywhere except for the runways of Paris.

I knew the type, more than once Penny and I had joined them; spending our family's money without a care in the world. That Elise had no idea what was coming and she'd never believe that the next time she'd actually notice the couture she had on would be with the Mother of all. To be fair, this Elise didn't really believe it either, but the red soles of my boots still managed to give me the same little rush of happiness.

The manager wore his badge proudly, actually bowing at Gaia before he guided us to a small table with the clearest of views by the window. There was a team behind him ready to pull out chairs, take our coats, serve water and drop napkins over our laps.

I had to be dreaming. I'd never woken up from my nap with the lion.

"The usual." Was all she said, the staff disappearing now knowing their role. "I know you have a preference for the cooler weather. I'm sure this is to your liking."

The smug knowingness of her smile as she fussed with the napkin ruined my mood. Never mind the fact the cooler weather was exactly to my liking, and if she were anyone else, I'd be tempted to abandon whatever this was to go and roll around in the snow like the child she accused me of being. Instead, I forced a smile, tried not to glare at her and remain neutral about every damn thing going on right now.

Mentally I clapped myself on my back - considering the breakdown I had barely an hour ago or that was the path my whole life seemed built around, I was determined to get through this. Richard could not criticise my ability to compartmentalise and not deal with anything completely ever again because if I didn't I'd either be dead by now or locked in a padded cell for eternity.

"Where are we?" I caught sight of the restaurant name, and outside the gondolas that moved up and down the mountain void of passengers or if there were any they didn't get out to come inside. "Wait, this is my realm?"

"I believe they call it Sulphur Mountain, and yes we're on your earth. To put you at ease I brought you somewhere familiar." This wasn't familiar; the last time I came to a ski resort Jordan nearly killed me on a slope that was not beginner friendly. "It is quite spectacular this world. Parts of it are anyway."

Gaia gazed out the window with a distant look in her eye, and I had to agree. The view was breathtaking with snow-covered mountains and the bluest water I'd ever seen winding through the valley below. I could almost feel myself start to relax as we just stared in silence until two martini glasses were placed in front of us, complete with a ring of dried orange hanging off the rim and a sprinkling of flowers across the foamy top.

"Don't look so worried, it's juice. I don't eat meat, nor do I consume alcohol." Gaia winked, taking her drink. "Now, you've had quite the adventure."

"Understatement of the century." She seemed to think about this as she sipped her drink, and I realised she may have taken that literally. No meat, alcohol or sarcasm for Gaia. "Joking."

She gave a little shrug. "It may be close."

I prayed there was alcohol in the juice as I needed all the help I could get to survive this. Sorry Blueberry. The tangy orange and cranberry drink was indeed just juice and it was also delicious, taking me back to girls' night at Rayas where she'd get Keiran to mix us cocktails that no one could remember the name of by the end of the night.

"Forgive me, Elise. I missed your earlier achievements, and despite the advice I received from Hecate, it took some time for you to appear on my radar."

"I think I'd rather stay off it."

"Most would." Gaia smiled knowingly, like a cool aunt who knew exactly what trouble you got into but helped you lie to your parents about it anyway. "You are an interesting creature though, and I mean that with great fondness. Our paths meeting in the Crossroads made it clear to me that I had made a mistake dismissing her visions, and now here we are."

"I might think you were happy about that, though considering when we last saw each other you were quick to throw down some insults and oh, abandon us in Tartarus. What was it you said as you left? Enjoy death."

Maybe I shouldn't remind her about that part.

"Venturing to Tartarus is often difficult. For everyone. He is difficult. Have you ever met someone that gets so far under your skin, constantly attempting to prove that they know better than you do at any cost, that you'd be willing to remove a limb if it meant you'd actually be free of them?" Her tone was hard, the shift in the whole calm and cool exterior obvious.

Movement caught my eye outside and in the distance, the white cloud that started down the mountain could have only been an avalanche.

"You've met Apollo then?" That wasn't fair - there was no way he was on their level, but he did have a similar effect on me.

Gaia's smile was tight, the warmth from earlier gone. "Haven't had the pleasure though I do hear whispers from time to time, so I'm sure you can understand I was not at my best. For someone such as myself, to have another dare to even suggest they know more than I do makes me a little, moody."

Great, she's like the rest of us.

"Tartarus is your Apollo?" I frown. "Then why take us there? Sounds like a you problem since you can't stay away from him."

"It was a test, Elise. I wanted to see what you are capable of and feeling particularly spiteful, I was also hoping you'd give him something to think about."

Mission achieved.

"And if I'd died while being used in whatever little game you two have going on?"

"Then you are not what I thought." She paused, smiling at the waiter as set down plates.

Cauliflower with, stuff, on it. A lot healthier than the other things I'd consumed in the last few days and as Gaia began to eat, there was a great smell coming from the plate that had me cutting into it too.

"So, essentially, you lured us to Tartarus, and because you were in a bad mood thanks to the actual Tartarus, you decided to test my survival skills?"

"Mostly. You also refused to listen to reason." Gaia pointed out. "I gave you the opportunity to leave, which you rejected. Thankfully."

"Thankfully? They weren't options at all!" I angrily stab the cauliflower, enjoying the spicy flavours too much to be turned off my food by this conversation.

"Exactly, and you made the right choice."

"My right choices have now left us with the only option being to give him Uranus or expect eternal damnation. He has a spot for us and everything." The urge to make my own Gaia-sized avalanche was as tempting as whatever this sauce was.

Did this have ginger in it?

"He's mostly all talk, and I'm sure we could come to some agreement if that ever did happen." Her hand glowed as she held it in front of me, and it felt like I was being hit with a rush of hot hair. "He hasn't even marked your soul. It's an empty threat."

"Good to know, probably because he also threatened to open the gates and let the monsters out." That got her attention. "Is he still all talk?"

"He does like events to go his way, and depending on his mood at the time I do think he is capable of following through with that one." She frowned before shrugging it off quickly.

Great you're all moody assholes. What hope do the rest of us have then?

"So help me, help all of us, and please tell me about the Fourth," I beg, her mouth instantly set in a thin, tense line that disappeared as the staff removed our now empty plates. They got smiles. "I just, I feel it in my gut, it's important and I've learnt to trust that feeling. If anyone can help me understand this, it's you."

"Existence was easier before we had the notion to create something more." Gaia went quiet, once again lost in thought before a ringing from her purse had her pull out a very new-looking iPhone. "Just one moment, I need to take this."

"You're kidding?" I looked around, expecting to see the camera crew coming in to yell you've been punked.

Nothing happened.

Instead, I watched Gaia, who looked more like the Devil in Prada than a primordial being pace back and forth near the bar, angrily waving a hand around like she had important business to attend to. Maybe she did - global warming wasn't about to cure itself and she must have a few thoughts on how all living things coexisted with each other.

Another round of drinks was placed on the table and I grabbed the waiter's arm before he could disappear back to the kitchen.

"Everything alright, Miss?" He asked, smiling politely.

"Who is she to you?" I whisper.

"The Mother of All, though she prefers we refer to her as Flora, or Miss Gaia if necessary."

"What?" I jinxed myself earlier. This could be as weird as today gets. "You know who she really is?"

Everything about him was only giving off human, and very mortal human vibes at that. If he shapeshifted right now or hell, turned out to be Uranus, I'd gladly throw myself off this mountain.

"Of course. I am a Gaiaist, my family have been Pagan for centuries. I was more drawn to this movement than the traditional pathways. It is an honour to serve her in whatever way I can as I'm sure you agree."

Do I though? The suspicion on his face told me I only had one answer if I didn't want anyone spitting in my food. "Sure do. Team Gaia, am I right?"

He walked away looking happy with my answer, and since I was here, got my own phone and quickly texted everyone to check-in. I wasn't about to risk any further upsets with the cult of a mad woman or my friends and family.

"What were you two talking about?" Gaia asked a few minutes later, startling me as she sat back down.

"Gaiaists? Sounds like you've got quite a little cult scene happening here. Heads up, these things never end well, and before you know it, someone is getting sacrificed."

Gaia chuckles to herself as she takes a sip of her drink.

"Your species were created with independent thought, and more often than not an urge to self-destruct. From time to time, I make myself known in places. I enjoy some of what your world has to offer. The rest, not so much but I resigned myself to letting what will be, be, a long, long time ago, Elise. Perhaps once you live beyond one, or even three, four lifetimes, you will begin to understand."

"I can't tell if that self-destruct dig was for my benefit or humans in general."

Gaia smiles. "You are human. Not quite the same as Rowan over there, but human nonetheless. And young. Your mind and body have barely made sense of one another, never mind all that is around them and beyond. Your powers well, they're a true work in progress, especially for someone as new and unaware of all of this as you are."

Young and naive, that's me. I was surprised she didn't throw in pregnant to claim the trifecta. Except one little part was left out that whole live, laugh, love vibe she had currently had going on.

"Not my soul."

"No, dear girl. Not your soul." Gaia sat back in the chair, twirling the stem of her martini glass as she looked at me expectantly.

I shivered, the look and everything about her at that moment giving me a flashback of sitting opposite Huntington back at the Academy. In a blink, it was like I was back in her office interrupting her Friday night drink; her martinis were never void of alcohol. It was also a time we'd call a truce, and that grandmotherly side of her I loathed yet adored would come out to either give me a stern talking to or even a shoulder to cry on.

I hated how much I missed her.

"The fourth." I prompted, struggling to remain focused now she just left the soul subject wide open.

"What do you think will happen if you find this, Fourth?" She asked, clearly trying to appear disinterested.

"What do you? Everyone is being super shady about it, and to me, it all seems like a lot of work for something or someone you're trying to play off as unimportant."

The next round of food was put down, the sweet curry aroma making me feel starved all over again. Gaia thoughtfully began to eat, and I did too, wondering how long she would attempt to drag this out. The answer soon became clear as we ate in silence, and our plates were cleared away.

"The Fourth was important." She finally said. "They had their time and I promise you they are no more."

Wait, what? "At all?"

"The Fourth served its purpose and now no longer exists. It isn't a secret Elise, it isn't the conspiracy you want it to be. Time passed. The ones who knew eventually forgot and what remains is little more than a trinket like the golden sword you once held or a pyramid in the desert."

"Well, that golden sword is very real and those pyramids are surrounded by hundreds of conspiracies and-" I argued.

"I'm not denying their existence. The Fourth was very much real, only now all that remains is an ancient suit of armour in the den of a cursed hoarder and," she put her hand over the table and the pieces we'd found tumbled towards me. "Remnants of what was."

"I think Medusa would prefer the term collector, not hoarder." I corrected, looking at what I had hoped had been our way of using the wheel and unleashing some kind of Fury and Uranus stopping power. "You're lying."

"Believe me or not, that's your choice. Free will and so on. You are wasting time you do not have."

"Right now it only feels like you are the one wasting my time. All this is doing is making me want to know more. It's like you've shown me a flame, and told me it's hot, don't touch, so I'm going to do the most free-willed thing there is and touch the damn thing, whether it burns me or not." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table that would make my mother cringe after the years of enforced etiquette lessons in my early teens. "Hypothetically, say the Fourth isn't the be-all and end-all I hope she is and I move on from all of that. How do we stop the Furies and Uranus without the trinkets?"

Please give me something, anything!

"That's not why I brought you here today." She spoke softly yet there was a clear coldness to her tone I didn't miss.

She was so like Portia. Huntington. The look on her face a clear warning to drop it and move on. Too bad that wasn't my style.

"Because you don't know how to stop him, do you?" I laughed. "You're all the same and this really is wasting my time."

"I want to make amends for the Tartarus mishap. I'm not your enemy here and-"

I shook my head, stopping her. "I don't think you're exactly my friend either. Tartarus wasn't a mistake. I mean, I'm annoyed but, add it to the list. I'm glad I went as it really helped put a lot of things into perspective."

Her eyebrow arched as her expression soured, the look she served me with one I'd seen on my own mother's face many times.

"From where I'm sitting, I'm just a trinket you all seem eager to play with and right now I actually hold more power than any of you realise. No, more than you realise. The other two are well aware."

"What are you on about now?" Gaia huffed, her fingers pinching the stem of her glass so tightly they turned white around her nails. "Are you attempting to threaten me?"

I smiled, leaning back in the chair and rubbed my belly, mostly to ease the tantrum Blueberry was apparently having. "I'm not threatening anything. How can I? I'm as insignificant in all of this as a pyramid in the desert or that gold sword I used to have."

Lifting up the pieces of the Wheel, I rolled the disc I found at the Crossroads between my fingers as she watched.

"None of this is my circus or my monkeys. I could just gather up my family and friends, and find a nice, distant realm to set up a new home in. That'll just leave you to face Uranus' plans of taking over and starting again. Then again if Tartarus does let the monsters out first, your cult might lose a bit of faith in you when they're being eaten, tortured or killed without mercy because they won't obey their new godly ruler or rulers. Are we placing bets on the likelihood of a Tartarus, Uranus team up yet?"

To her credit, Gaia didn't flinch. Instead, her body relaxed, and the tension that had been growing seconds earlier vanished as new drinks arrived and dessert.

"And how did you come to that conclusion?" She mused, yet there was a hint of caution lingering behind each word. "We are the first, the originals, the most powerful of all and you, are just you. You are letting your mortal ego lead you into believing you are something special that actually wields any kind of power over us. How could you possibly place yourself in our league?"

I shrugged, pausing to enjoy the rich vanilla bean ice cream.

"Sticks and stones Gaia, and you aren't fooling me. I can spot your bullshit a mile away because it's all I've ever known and you, Mother of All, creator of the Fates and everything else, made a mistake. A few actually, and yet again it comes back to one tiny detail." This time when her phone rings, she ignores it and motions for me to continue. "Whoever's side I stand on, wins. This time it isn't over something like a petty war for a crown fueled by angry, slightly crazy and extremely troubled powers. It's bigger, so much bigger than that and you didn't even realise until after you sent us to Tartarus. All that did was drag him into this feud between you and Uranus but not as the ally you either hoped I would walk away with or as a new prize to be kept down there to earn some brownie points with him. You handed Tartarus the lead you have been struggling to maintain when you missed the fact I have officially been reunited with my twin flame."

"I don't make mistakes." She practically spat, the sky darkening outside.

"No? Because you turning up right after I just had that little revelation screams you've fucked up to me and this is your attempt at keeping me on side which, spoiler alert, isn't going too well."

"You forget who you talk to, Elise. If I was as unaware as you claimed, how do you think Leto found herself with all that knowledge to share?" Gaia challenged.

She could have made a very good point, one that I'd believe if this had come about before now because I don't doubt she knew exactly what Cain and I are to each other this whole time. That was why I also knew she wasn't the one that would be doing anything in our favour. Someone else had been and any suspicion or doubt I had about her vanished.

She really was one of my fairy godmothers.

"Hecate. I thought she might be your accomplice in all this, but she really is on her own path isn't she? You came by that day, just as you said you did. Curious about her little project. I'm not what you may have planned or wanted, but here I am because she made it so. I was by her design, not yours. It's why the Fates have always struggled so much with me." The wind makes the windows shake as the clouds surround the mountain. "Thanks for dinner, but I'm going to need more than a nice view and some good food before I decide where I stand. At least when Uranus tried to tempt me to his side I got to cut off Nieve's hand."

"And you just came up with all of this nonsense when?" Snow completely blocked the outside world from view now, yet she sat opposite me looking as refined and at ease as she had when we arrived.  "You give Hecate more power than she actually has."

I'd almost believe it if not for the venom in her tone and the snowstorm outside. She said so much more without saying anything at all.

"I pretty much make things up as I go and well once I got started, it just keeps on making more sense. This girl time is great and all, but your timing is off. I've sensed you hovering around us since we left hell, and maybe it's the altitude or something because I can it all so clearly now. You live here, hiding in plain sight. The Fates were your creation, your tool to use and of course Uranus would match that with his Furies!"

I paused and with the silence that followed I kept going.

"Like Nieve, you had a plan, and part of it was to keep Cain and me away from each other. You thought you'd done it too. Stay in Apollo's light. Be the third. Kill Cain and then keep Fate constantly work against us. You didn't want the connection we had to develop and when it became clear you can't stop it, you set Tartarus up to destroy at least one of us so you wouldn't get your own hands dirty. If Hecate knew what you did, they'd be trouble in the Crossroads I'm sure, but one is easier to manage then two and it was worth the risk to get what you wanted."

I stopped, taking the glass of water and really needing it after all that. Gaia did nothing. I don't think she was even breathing at this point as she stared at me looking completely unimpressed. Maybe I wasn't done just yet as I kept going.

"So, are you sure you don't want to tell me about the Fourth now?" I ask sweetly. "Or even why Hecate seems to be as powerful as I assume she is based on that reaction."

Gaia toyed with her mostly melted ice cream before looking at me.

"Why do I need to say anything since you seem to have all the answers, young one. The part I find the most amusing out of all that rambling though, is how you think that you alone, could determine who will emerge as the victor in all of this?" She mocked.

I smiled.

"You can thank Tartarus for that revelation. He's the one that made me realise just how much power I have here. After all, with some effort I bent Tartarus to my will. I literally froze hell and he got Cain out of there to separate us for a reason. Likely the same reason you were hoping he'd kill at least him or at least one of us. Uranus knows what I, what we are capable of. I destroyed a realm. I nearly destroyed Uranus when his Furies released him that day and it was all done without being completely reconnected with my twin flame. So, what exactly do you think we could do to you? What if I decide Uranus' plan for a new world with me leading the way isn't actually that bad and schedule him in for next Tuesday at three pm? Fuck the fourth, I'd dare you to bring it back to even try and stop us. Let's see how well that myth has truly aged and since Nieve jumped ship, you're also down three Fates."

Lightning flashed outside, thunder made the ground shake and the blizzard had the glass cracking as the heating of the building failed. Somewhere behind me, I could hear sobbing. Might be good for them to see their goddess of life and light keeping it real, though I doubt this would help me get more ice cream.

"You're threatening me now?" Gaia stood up, slamming her hands onto the table so hard the cups all spilt over.

"No. Because to do that, I'd have to be right about all the nonsense I just threw out there and well, little naive me just isn't that special. So why would anyone in your league be worried about anything I had to say?" My words hung in the space between us and I felt the weight of what I'd just done on my shoulders.

Did I just start a whole new war with Gaia?

"I can see why so many sought to kill you in the past." She sat down, the storm passed inside despite the way it carried on outside.

I slowly let go of the breath I had been holding. "What can I say, I'm a real people person."

"The Fourth can't help you now. The Furies are not what they were and for there to even be a Fourth, there would need to be three before her. Nieve will have to die and the powers of Fate would need to be released to find new hosts. Yet as one being holding all three, she is untouchable."

"I cut off her hand. Not that untouchable.." I mumbled.

"Defeating her should be your priority. Uranus will not make a real move against you until that time. Like me, he will be assessing how everything is moving before deciding it's time to make a move. Thnakfully, he is also known for acting before truly thinking things over. It is how he managed to find himself imprisoned and hidden away for, let's just say a very long time." She sighed, our table returning to its clean state. "He is revolutionary, and idiosyncratic while being resourceful and not one to underestimate. Like you in some ways."

"Are you trying to push me to his side? He sounds like he would be fun at parties."

"You are both born of chaos." It sounded like an insult but I'd heard worse. "He holds no true value for life. All that has been created, that exists, is nothing to him. The threat he poses to not just the living, but the sheer existence of the cosmos. It will start as he says, but there will be a cleansing of the realms and a universal order will exist while everything else will cease. He has been jealous of what is since the beginning and we always disagreed on letting what will always be, be."

I just stared at her.

No words came and so on instinct, I skulled my drink, excused myself to the bathroom, tried to avoid a meltdown, had one anyway and despite being red faced and blotchy with snot smeared on my couture, I eventually back out to find the sun setting on the horizon and the white snow glowing purple and pink with the sky.

"Coffee?" Gaia offered the steaming pot in her hand looking out of place in this setting. "Tea, perhaps?"

"Coffee. Thanks." I slipped into my chair, ignoring the thought that coffee right now would be the worst idea possible but it smelt good and familiar. "So, you're telling me this is more than a wanting to rule the world's deal, and instead it's a complete wipe-out start again on the universe as we know it?"

"Yes."

I sighed. "I'm going to need a doughnut."

A plate appeared with an assortment of my favourites in front of me and I didn't hesitate in taking one.

"So why don't you stop him? Super powerful one."

"I can't. If any of us ever engaged in a direct battle with one another it would be, well, we can't. A clause in the fine print of our being."

Enter all that is known aka their toys.

"I am never going to stop being used as a pawn in yours or his or someone's game, am I?" I gave in and drank the coffee.

"You're not a pawn No one is. Free will remember? A last minute inclusion to the design that ensures our power can only go so far." She huffed, sounding impatient. "It's unexplainable, just know that things do happen for a reason, but all of their own accords. It's what's so amazing and wonderfully unpredictable about life. Look at you, here, with me!"

"You're right, I'd never predicted any of this five years ago. And twin flames? Can we go with the condensed version, please? I'm not sure I can handle anything more than that right now plus if you want my help in stopping Uranus, you need us. Both of us. Tartarus makes no sense and I need something to."

"I told you, if you hadn't passed then you weren't who or what I thought. Now twin flames are more of a myth than the Fourth. You found yours, another unexpected twist of life."

"Okay, so why is that so great? Two halves, making a whole. Soulmates on steroids. Not exactly save the world stuff."

"The first creatures we created, we destroyed. Their life spark was a flame, and their powers they came with were strong. Uranus recognised the threat before I did, but I understood the reasons for his actions. It may have been the last time we agreed on anything. We were more careful with the ones that came next, and again after that. Only, we soon realised they destroying the vessels didn't destroy all of the being. The soul remained and was not so easily extinguished nor could it be controlled."

She paused, looking beyond the building and into a time and place that I knew was not going to be the short version of this story at all. So I tried to get there for her.

"So you tore them in half forever cursed to wander looking for their over half?"

"It didn't quite happen like that, but the outcome was similar." Gaia finally answered. "I tried to understand this power, the magic that created these, sparks, with no luck. With each new life comes another soul, connecting all living things in its own way. There are hundreds of theories and tales about it, just in your world alone and all hold an element of truth. I am the mother of all but even I have not solved this mystery. I thought that if I kept one of these original flames intact, it would eventually reveal its secrets but instead, the vessel it had been waiting for arrived and I lost it."

"An original soul, pre-split. The first of its kind ever?" I take another doughnut, not sure why but needing something to keep my mouth full as I thought it over. "So I know it's not mine, twin flame over here. Wait, Hecate implied Astrid had the soul before me, and she made it so it could be recycled-"

"Reincarnated. Twin flames want their other half, and go through hundreds if not thousands of lives until at some point, their fire burns out and they just, give up. Eventually they all make their way to the Underworld. Funny you should mention Hecate. She is an example of why the initial flames were split."

That woke me up better than the coffee. "She's a twin flame?"

I stopped. No. We weren't talking about that now.

"She's the spark you lost?"

"She is the only one of her kind. Hecate soul is the original flame." Gaia confirmed. "Her powers are rare, her vessel is unique. Of course, it would draw in a soul like that. Her very existence requires it."

I instantly thought of what Kara had said about Hecate. Gaia herself had been there for her birth and I now knew it had little to do with a biological connection.

"So why not have Hecate take on Uranus?" She was clearly powerful enough for it.

"Time has not been kind to her and how do you think he was trapped in the first place?" Gaia sipped her coffee. "She did what had to be done as she always has, no matter the price. You are similar in that way."

Gaia looked sad, and old as if admitting that suddenly allowed for the centuries and endless time she had existed to catch up to her. The woman in front of me faded slightly, a bright shadow that flickered being this realm and another before she gave a little cough and sat up to appear as she had been since we arrived.

"And that is why I do not need to keep you on my side as you say. Uranus will never be your ally nor will your goals ever align because unlike him, you care too much. You are already planning to stop him because you will not see your friends, family or any other being suffer at his hand. You are a Hunter, and you have you have your target. Nothing I tell you about the Fourth will change any of this. She was created to maintain a balance when there was none, and now there is you."

Gaia stood, less dramatically than last time and dipped her head in my direction.

"I owed you time and I delivered. We will see each other again."

"What? This isn't over, you can't just-" I groaned, practically throwing the cup I'd been cradling against my chest back onto the table. "Fuck!"

I guess she could because she was gone.