Hearts are meant to stay in ones chest. An empty auditorium to play the sad concert no one will attend. The somber tunes of the bow ringing the string as they beg for attention.

Hearts aren't meant to be broken. They don't come with a manual on how to fix it once it shattered. No amount of glue will ever hold it together again.

My heart fell in love that summer that I met him. His cheeky smile created dimples against his freckled cheeks, showing his braced teeth. His bright brown eyes shined brightly against the sun as the wind picked up his dark brown hair in slight tussles. 

His laugh rang in my ears in peaceful melodies as his fingers plucked and slid against the strings of his guitar. The wood of the instrument echoed his story as his vocal chords belted the words to the narrative.

"Talk to him!" My friend rushed me over to him with my wrist wrapped in her grip.

"H-hey," I whispered slightly.

He immediately stopped playing and looked up at me. When he stood up, he towered over me and I cowered slightly.

I remembered it so well. Florida was the place of my dreams as I met the man of my dreams. We laughed in the salty air by the oceanside with our hands intertwined.

I pushed the box on the shelf as I knocked over the framed photo of him. Shawn, my love.

It was the second Tuesday of March at eight in the morning. I received the news from two men in black suits. Their hats were off their buzzcut heads at the medals that hung reflected the little sunlight that shone through the thick cloud cover.

"I am sorry."

I laughed and clutched the door handle. The joke wasn't funny. My laugh faded into tears when their facial expression didn't change.

"Please no. Please. Oh god no." I felt my knees crumpled as if they were made from paper.

"Michelle what is it?" My mother, who happened to be visiting for my birthday, ran to me.

"Mom. Mom. Mom." I cried into her shoulder as I grabbed fistfuls of her shirt.

She caressed my limp body as I melted into her grasp.

"He will be flown in within a week. We will keep in touch to handle all the details." They saluted me and walked back to their car.

"I am so sorry sweetheart."

It was a celebration of life for everyone else. I mourned the end of our life as I laid my forehead against the coffin covered in a flag. His life was only worth the flag that draped over. I kissed the wood and stroked it softly.

"Hey Shawn. I got accepted into med school. I made it because you believed in me." I laughed slightly as I attempted to hold back the tears. "Thank you for supporting me through everything."

"Sir we need to move so the plane can load up and take off."

"Interrupt her and I'll kill you myself." The commander stated.

"I am so sorry. I am so so sorry." I crossed my arms over the container and buried my face in them. "Shawn I am sorry I couldn't stop you. I am so sorry. I am the reason this happened." I wept loud tears into my dress as his sister rubbed my back.

I bore the child he desperately wanted to have before he left. I rose him with the knowledge that he had no daddy nor would he ever. But he did know his daddy was a hero and always will be.

"Shawn. I hope I am doing this right." I caressed our three year old son in my arms as I sat next to his grave. "You would've loved him Shawn. He's so perfect. He has your freckles and eyes. He has my lips that you absolutely adored. His personality reminds me so much of you. I'm going to protect this gem with my life. He's ours and he is the world to me."

Even if hearts did come with an instruction guide, mine was buried with him that day. But it was as if my son, Andrew, grabbed a shovel and dug down to collect the information on how to mend me.