I wake up to chaos.

Well, not really chaos. It's just that Hiroki is in hysterics and everyone is trying their best to comfort him. It's hard lines on the poor boy, to have come back to reality after being kidnapped by snakes just to see his classmates, friends, and his boyfriend lying there, motionless, unseeing, unhearing.

"What happened to them? What happened to them?" He bawls, weeping on the chest of the unlucky Katsuki, whom we had planned on getting him out ages agoyet is still stuck in his desert because of strategic purposes.

Ririka and Yukiya exchange glances, not quite sure how to explain. And even if they were to explain, they would still have to get Hiroki to actually calm down and listen, something which isn't happening any time soon. Shun is also complicating matters by literally apologizing on the floor, though it's very hard for him to get the message across because Hiroki isn't exactly paying attention.

"Hiroki, I'm so sorry for what happened back there, I couldn't control myself," Shun pleads, but Hiroki flat-out ignores him, continuing to sob over the body of his boyfriend. The fact that Katsuki had been knocked out by an intruder a day ago has probably gave Hiroki PTSD and now the poor guy can't stand to see his boyfriend unconscious for even a minute.

"Exactly what happened back there?" Yukiya asks. Shun is still busy apologizing, and Hiroki is still busy crying, so Yukiya and Ririka have to rely on me for an answer. It turns out that somewhere during the epic snake battle they have decided that Shun's stats are fluctuating too hard and pulled him out, while mine was relatively reasonable so they left me inside. And after they unhooked Shun they couldn't a get a single word of sense out of him-he was just sitting there, head in his hands, muttering "I'm so sorry" over and over again.

"Uh..." I begin, not quite sure how to explain to Yukiya and Ririka. "Uh, we're in a snake pit, riding spiders-"

"Ew," Ririka exclaims. "Why would you ride spiders?"

"They, uh, she asked me to ride her," I explain, feeling rather stupid.

"You know that the spider's a she?" Yukiya asks, incredulous.

"And she's also pregnant," I confirm.

Both of them look at me like I'm nuts. I don't know, maybe I am.

"As for what happened later..." I trail off, not knowing how to tell them. My eyes meet Shun's. His eyes are clear now, no longer infested with the darkness. Sincere, repentant brown eyes.

He coughs awkwardly. "They have a right to know," he tells me, and then turns to Ririka and Yukiya. "As for what happened later, I betrayed them."

"You what?" Ririka asks, confusion all over her adorable features.

"I betrayed them. I shot my spider. I shot other spiders. I-" he looks at Hiroki, who is still crouching there, crying, "-I ordered a snake to kill Hiroki."

The statement is greeted by solemn silence. Finally Ririka speaks. "Why?"

"I don't know. I couldn't control myself," Shun whispers, looking down at his feet. "I tried. I tried so hard. I think... there's something wrong with me."

"Do you think it will happen again if you go back into someone else's mind?" Yukiya queries.

"Do you think it will happen again even now, in real life?" Ririka adds.

"I don't think so," I put in. "In real life, I mean. There was this darkness that looks kind of like cuttlefish spaghetti surrounding him, and I don't think that kind of thing could happen in real life."

The two of them look slightly relieved. Cuttlefish spaghetti, after all, belongs on plates and dinner tables. Yukiya snaps his fingers. "Well then, problem solved-Shun, we simply don't let you go back in. You'll spot from now on, and we'll do the rest."

Shun nods slowly, not quite in the mood to argue. Yukiya goes on.

"So, how about Riri and I go to get Katsuki, and you guys spot for us? Y'all need some rest from the last mission. Killing snakes sounds very tiring."

"Sounds good, let's do that," I agree. I'll probably be able to explain to Hiroki what's going on while Yukiya and Ririka are busy fixing Katsuki.

But then Hiroki speaks up.

"No, wait." He sniffles. "I'm going in too."

"You're exhausted," Yukiya points out. "You just escaped your worst nightmare. Anyone would need a rest after that."

"But Katsuki's my boyfriend," Hiroki argues, like that settled the matter.

Actually it does settle the matter. Katsuki is his boyfriend, and it would be totally unfair if Hiroki isn't allowed to be there for his boyfriend.

"Fine then, we'll go in together. Us three," Yukiya compromises. "We'll explain to you the, uh, details inside, okay? I imagine that flying around the desert will take some time, so we can talk."

"Desert?" Hiroki asks.

"You'll see," Yukiya assures him quickly. Hiroki doesn't push the matter, probably thinking that the sooner he gets to hack into Katsuki's mind the better. He has already leapt onto a mattress and begun clipping wires onto himself so as to speed up the process. I quickly run over to give him a hand, and can't help noticing that he is trembling hard.

"Are you sure you're in the right state to-" I start to ask, but Hiroki interrupts me impatiently.

"I'm fine," he says, even though his large eyes are brimming over with tears. "I'm really fine. Let me go in. Please."

I can't say no to puppy eyes like that, so I help him clip up the wires. He's brave, I tell myself. Hiroki is brave. Ririka is brave. Yukiya is brave. It's okay to send them in; they'll be fine.

And then it's only Shun and I left.

I look at him. He looks at me, but his eyes dart away immediately.

"I'm sorry," he says again.

"Stop apologizing," I tell him, hearing my own voice crack. "I saw the darkness take over you. It's not your fault."

He stares down at the carpet. "But it is. If I were strong enough to fight it, it wouldn't have ended like this. They told me that my stats were really extreme, you know? Yukiya said one second all the numbers are really really high, the next there was nothing, and then really really high again, and then nothing. And then the nothing won over. There was nothing, simply nothing. They unhooked me right away. So, I guess when the darkness or whatever it was took over me, I was... nothing."

"You were no longer you," I say.

"I could feel it taking over me," he continues, slowly. "And I did try to fight it. I wanted to help Hiroki, and I didn't want to leave you to fight alone. I was so mad..."

He trails off, and suddenly punches the desk he is sitting on. "There's nothing I hate more than not being able to stand up for someone I care about."

There's nothing I hate more than not being able to comfort Shun, so I try my best.

"It turned out fine though. Hiroki was able to handle himself in the end, right?"

Shun closes his eyes and I can see the heavy bags under the them. He sighs. "I saw that. I saw a bit, before I got pulled out. He was worried about me. He was dying, did you see? And yet he was still worried about me." His muscles tense up. "While I, on the other hand, couldn't do anything for him."

"It's not your fault-"

"It is," Shun corrects me softly. "You can't convince me otherwise, because you, too, know that it is. You knew something was wrong with me, didn't you? In the beginning, when you first freed me, from that machine that was turning me into a human flashdisk. I got it from there, I think. The darkness."

"You got it from there?"

"I got it from there. I could feel it then, already. I can feel it now. I tried so hard to act normal, I thought I could handle it, but every time we went into someone's mind, it intensified. It kept whispering at me, laughing, laughing so hard whenever I saw someone at their most vulnerable. If I can't ward it off, it will-"

He doesn't seem to know what exactly it will do either. But he seems defeated, shoulders slumped, refusing to look at anywhere but the ground.

"And I won't be able to ward it off. I know I won't."

"Don't be stupid," I argue, "you're just fine now, you're normal, so of course you can-"

Shun won't even let me finish.

"Tomomi, what have I become?"