I have been rolling around in bed for two hours, and still can't sleep. This has happened a lot since I started school here. I've always been a light sleeper, but it's only progressed to insomnia level in the past year.

Some nights it gets worse, insomnia plus headache. Tonight is one of those nights.

The headaches I get, they're weird. Not the throbbing kind that goes along with the tempo of my pulse. Not the sharp, stabbing kind that renders me completely helpless. It's more of a fuzzy kind of headache, like a swarm of bees buzzing in my head. I imagine my brain like a small room, and the bees fly about, bumping into the ceiling, the four walls, each other. Sometimes they have a sort of formation, sometimes not. Sometimes they switch places, scatter off to all corners, and then regroup.

Of course I know there can't be real bees in my head, but that's what it feels like.

I usually try to think happy things when the headaches come. Hanging out with my family on a peaceful Sunday afternoon, listening to oldies and petting the cat. Shopping with my friends from my old school back in Fukuoka, and getting tonkotsu ramen after our legs are exhausted. Eating ice cream mochi. Playing the elega.

Happy things don't block out the headache, but they shift my attention away from it. Tonight it is worse. Thoughts about home, about the appreciative purrs my cat makes when scratched under the chin, they're no longer enough.

I roll onto my right side, massaging my temples. As soon as this semester is over, I think, I'm so going to go to the hospital and get a CT scan.

I flop onto my left side. Everything is fuzzy. I think about Jin.

It's hard to not think about him, about when we first met. It was during the entrance exam, I think. Thousands from all across Japan who had passed the application process were taking the test, but out of all of them Jin was the first to approach me and say hi, and let me tell you how glorious that felt-to have made a new friend among heaps of strange faces.

It was on the second day of the exam when he greeted me. Technically the test itself lasted less than three hours, but traveling to the mountains took time and all potential students were required to stay at the facility overnight to rest, and take the exam early next morning so that everyone had time to travel back home during the day.

My sleep that night was almost as restless as this one, and as I walked into the exam room I was feeling all jittery and tired and freaked out and hopeless. No way I would be able to beat all these thousands of other students, I thought. Even though I wanted to. I really wanted to make my parents proud of me for getting into such a prestigious academy, and besides there was Shun. I saw him, a few seats in front of mine, looking confident and calm and assured just like always. I knew he would be accepted by the school in a flash. I had always believed in him and always will.

And a part of me couldn't help feeling sad because I knew that my pathetic crush on him would pretty much have to end here just because I wasn't good enough to ace this entrance exam and be accepted into this school. Because going to different schools meant parting ways, and parting ways meant forgetting.

I felt almost lonely.

But Jin, who had the seat next to mine, greeted me with the cheerfullest smile I had ever seen on a human being. It was so pure, so untainted, like he just really, really wanted to please and nothing else mattered in the world besides making me stop being jittery and I almost felt tears rushing into my eyes because true, 100-percent good people, they're just so hard to find.

We exchanged a few sentences before the test started, and despite still being a bit overwhelmed I was able to finish the exam without my anxiety getting the better of me.

I guess I could say Jin was my first new friend at this school. And now he was gone.

I was so excited to see that he had gotten in too, during orientation. I never learned his name, nor that of any other potential applicants, so I didn't really have a good idea as to who got in besides me and Shun. I think Jin was glad to see me too. We nearly ran over and tackled each other to the ground-we were that happy.

We hung out and helped each other through our first Basic Combat class. That was a class where we learned useful hand-to-hand combat techniques, so that even if we were for any reason stuck in someone's mind without our default weapon, we would still be able to fight somewhat. We had most of the agility and endurance training in that class, and I still remember how grueling the first few sessions were, when we were still a bit confused and new to the whole concept of mindhacking and still getting used to the idea that we would be learning to fight instead of learning math and English and other stuff that would help us get into a good university.

Whenever I thought the training was hard, whenever I did just plain shittily and hated myself for it, Jin was always there, just smiling, being encouraging. And whenever I did somewhat well, he would be there too, fist pumping and high-fiving me like my achievements were his.

He was good-looking, with his muscles (that he was exceedingly proud of) and his charming eyes that had more black than white and his exaggerated eyebrows, but inside he was just a sweet, sweet little boy.

Before I even realize it, I begin sobbing into my bedsheets. Thinking about your dead friend-wow, a swell way to spend a sleepless night.

I'm kind of surprised to note that my sniffling hasn't waken any of my roommates. They are usually very responsive to this kind of thing; that time I was rolling around in bed moaning from period pain they were by my side the whole night, my own personal support group.

Minus Anna of course. She doesn't support anyone.

I still remember when we first met and discovered that we were roommates and were basically stuck with each other for the whole school year. It had been pretty awkward at first, things like this always are. Natsumi looked intimidating, with her piercing eyes, chiseled nose and tight ponytail that swung left and right when she moved. Anna and Izumi were pretty scary too; they looked smart, businesslike, organized, like they would devour all the textbooks in one day and ace all the tests and be teacher's pets and to be honest teacher's pets horrify me to no end.

Ririka was the only one who was not intimidating, but it wasn't easy to be intimidating when you looked like you were eight.

We put our stuff in our places in awkward silence. And then Natsumi sighed.

"You know, I bet by like two days we'll be all like BFFs and have so much to say to each other we won't be getting any sleep at night, so we might as well just cut the awkward silence bullcrap and get a head start. I'm Amano Natsumi."

"Katori Ririka," Ririka chimed in happily.

"I'll just call you Riri," Natsumi decided. "By the way, now that we're introducing ourselves might as well tell us all your likes and dislikes and the most embarrassing thing that's even happened to you and all other important stuff BFFs need to know."

Ririka cocked her head to one side thoughtfully. "Hmm. Well, there was one time I went to school thinking I wore pants but I actually didn't..."

"Are you kidding me?" We all chorused at once.

We have all been tight since then. No matter what happens, I know that my roommates have my back. We have our own girls-only secrets that we'll never betray, not even to the guys in our class. When the guys drop in for random pillow fights, we keep each other covered. When the guys suggest crazy stuff that one of us simply isn't up to (for example, a pool war during someone's time of the month), we make up quick lies to get them to go away. When the guys bring us food (this usually refers to Daisuke, who has a huge thing for Natsumi and is always buying her sweets), we share it between us.

I love these girls and I don't plan to stop loving them anytime soon.

Well, maybe not Anna, but we never count her as one of us. She never joins anything, and not even the nosier guys (Daisuke for example, who likes to talk to anyone and everyone) can manage to befriend her.

I look at Anna now, fast asleep in the bunk bed across mine. Anna is a quiet sleeper, most of the time, but tonight is different.

I stare in shock as a stray tear slides down Anna's face and lands silently on her pillow.

This doesn't make sense. Anna never cries. She rarely ever shows any emotions that aren't irritation.

A thousand thoughts begin to run through my head immediately. Perhaps she is homesick. Perhaps she is ill. Perhaps she feels lonely because it's not like she has friends. I feel terrible right away and sit up, shoving my own splitting headache to the back of my mind.

"Anna?" I say softly. I'm not too worried about waking the others up. In fact I want them to wake up-Anna needs comforting, and the more friendly faces to do it the better. Taking care of each other like the good friends we are is a group effort.

Anna doesn't reply. Another tear slides down her cheek. She actually looks less annoyed and somewhat pretty when asleep, I realize. I never noticed how shapely her nose is, and the way her long hair fans out on the pillow.

"Anna, are you okay?" I try again.

Still no response and more tears. I roll out of my bedsheets and take the ladder down my bunk bed. The metal is icy cold and clears my head almost instantly.

I climb up Anna's bed and shake her shoulders gently. "Hey. Hey, Anna, what's wrong?"

I begin to feel seriously worried when there is still no reply. Waking people is never pleasant, but I decide that I probably should ask the others to weigh in. In fact I'm really surprised that none of them has done so yet.

"Oi, guys, sorry to wake you but I think there's something wrong with Anna," I say, in a reasonably loud voice that will wake light sleepers like Natsumi and Izumi but not loud enough to disturb the whole school.

I am greeted with complete silence. Then Ririka starts whimpering in her sleep. Startled, fitful whimpers, like she was pursued by a big bad wolf. She always did remind me of little red riding hood.

"Guys?" I say, a little bit louder.

No one answers me.

"Guys, this isn't funny, if it's a joke you'd better cut it out right now," I warn. But my warning has no effect; the others seem wholly oblivious to my words.

I quickly clamber down Anna's bed, nearly bumping my still aching head in the process, and scuttle next to Izumi. I shake her furiously.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up damn it this is not funny!" I yell. But my best friend in the world lies there, eyes closed, sleeping like a log.

I turn on the lights, which does not do anything except blind me for a couple of seconds. I then get an absolutely crazy idea, and pull my elega out of the closet. I set the volume to the loudest, and play two notes.

No difference, except my ears ring now.

"Dammit," I curse. I quickly throw on a light jacket and jump into my bunny slippers and run out of the room. I am greeted with the sound of cicadas and the cool night breeze. It almost makes me feel less head-achey, but not quite. Within two steps my headache is at its fullest force again.

I rush to the guys' dorm room, which is right across ours. It's what makes it so easy for them to besiege us in surprise pillow fights.

I bang on the door wildly, not bothering to keep the noise down anymore. When no one answers, I kick the door. Of course it doesn't budge. I throw my whole body upon it, but I'm no more than 50 kilos and the door is heavy wood so it naturally does not give way.

And then I come upon the brilliant idea of simply turning the knob, and the door opens in easily. I switch the lights on and take a look around. The guys are all asleep. Dead asleep.

A strangled, panicking cry comes from the back of the room, and I head over to see Yukiya, hugging his pillow and sobbing like no tomorrow. He is trembling madly, which scares me out of my wits because Yukiya never trembles. He's the guy who plays with fire, the daredevil who isn't afraid of anything, the one who never backs away from a gamble or a challenge and seeing him shivering is pretty much the most out-of-character and the scariest thing I can possibly imagine.

"Yukiya, hey, you're okay, wake up, it's all a bad dream," I whisper, kneeling beside him and shaking him madly. My whispers might as well have fallen on deaf ears because Yukiya does not appear to have registered any of it and goes on sobbing like a maniac.

I feel like sobbing too. My head hurts and my heart keeps clenching and unclenching in my chest and my eyes sting with unfallen tears. But I cannot cry now, I think. I have to find the teachers, they'll be able to tell me why my classmates seem to be suddenly caught in a perpetual nightmare from which they cannot be woken up.

I curse the fact that our dorm building isn't too close to everyone else's. The upperclassmen and the teachers have the dorm buildings at the back of the school behind the track fields, which is an eight minute walk away. I don't walk, of course. I hurry back to my room, kick off the bunny slippers, stuff my feet into a pair of conveniently available sneakers, and I run.

The schoolyard is always eerie at night, without the lights, without the chatter and without the friendly faces gliding through it. The shadows play tricks on my eyes and at every corner it looks like there are monsters ready to leap out.

But I don't let my imagination run free and concentrate on running instead. I don't let myself think, don't let myself wonder if any ghosts are hiding in the darkness waiting to pounce on me.

I don't even notice that my headache has stopped until I arrive at the teachers' dorm.