I've been spending most of my days in the darkness of my room with the monster under my bed. It's my 20th birthday but I don't feel any hope or happiness about today. This day feels like just any other. I'm one year closer to dying. For all I know,  my dad is still in the living room drinking his poison one after another and beating the living shit out of my mom. There's no reason why I should go help her. She did the exact same thing to me when I was younger before she met my dad. I met him when I was about eight and being the naive little girl I was, I thought my mom and I were the only ones that mattered to him. That was of course before they got married and started living together. One day,  my mom had told me she was going to go to the grocery store and that dad was going to me back soon. I had closed every window shut and locked all doors in my reach. When my dad had came home from work, he was in such an upsetting mood. He had trouble getting the door open and yelled at my mother some shit I don't Remember very well. But I do Remember how hateful they were. I told my dad she had left to the grocery store and he laughed at me. He told me there was no way she could afford any money. The one with the wallet was him.  All she did was stay at home. " Now honey, if you don't tell me where your mom has escaped to now,  There won't be anyone here to save you, " he had told me. " Daddy, why don't you believe me?  She really did go to the store ," I replied. I shit you not, there really wasnt anyone there and Everything went black. When I woke up,  I heard my mother's voice. I sat up,  feeling lightheaded and peaked through the crack on my bedroom door.  He was helping her unpack the bags , "Did  Wendy get herself in any trouble this time," she said in a sweet singsong type voice. " No, dear. I think she's actually changed for the better. She's acting like an angel who fell from the heaven inside of you, " I could see her face turning bright red from all the lights turned on in the kitchen.  Then they just stared at each other for what seemed an eternity.  Even then I knew something was gonna happen between them in the bedroom. Later on, when night finally came, She entered my bedroom.I was half asleep but I could still here her footsteps getting closer each second.  "You're the one getting in between your dad and I.  You're the one your dad won't stop talking about to his Co workers and shows you around. You're the one he compliments all the time. He never does that to me. Do you understand? He's the only one I have and yet he only seems to care about you. You make my life miserable and now I'm going to make it yours, "she had whispered in my ear. She pulled the sheets off my bed and my feet with them. My heart filled up my throat.  I felt the cold floor stab my back and tried my hardest to get away from her. Before I knew it, there I was on the floor, astonished with pain. Hands and eyes gushing with blood and my body all bruised up. My ankles were both chained around the foot of my bed with bandanas red from the blood circulation trying hard to get through. I was hurt. Both physically and emotionally.  Raised to believe that love is just something to fill the ego of humanity.  There's not going to be a single person Who's going to save you if you can't save yourself first. I've become obsessed with finding someone to love me. But spending so much time with the monster under my bed made me realize something. Sometimes you have to go through pure hell to be your own hero and the person you are meant to be. The monster always wanted to have someone love her as well. Someone who would never let her go even if it meant him losing his life. But she never did. And she never will.  Because she was afraid and let it get to her. " You are dismissed." Said the therapist. Those were the last words he told me. Or at least I thought