I'm just so fucking hurt right now and it's just getting me now like fuck I hate this I just want everything to go away and be alone away from everything and everyone but I guess I have to deal with it like fucking always I have to and it sucks because this is how it's been forever and I hate when people ask if i need to talk I say no and push them away but I guess I just fucking cry about that later to like always and shit idek anymore just really want to give up and be over all this bullshit it's so fucking dumb with I could just fucking kill myself but no because I care about others to much and Ik I would hurt them so I just be unhappy about that to but I don't even care anymore like fuck wish I could have had a normal life and all the shitty things that happen didn't or I could erase all these bad thoughts and memories maybe I just fucking overdose and that make it fucking better I don't even fucking no like so fucking dumb