A/N: Trigger warning for attempted suicide. I'm sorry it took so long amd I'm sorry it's short.

Italics will be used for the tape while normal writing is used for real time

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"You might want to stick around for our next guest"

"Oh? Does he have sexual problems too?"

"Oh, he looks like he's got a lot of problems" Murray comments, earning laughs from the audience, then turns to the left "Let's see that clip one last time"

The screen switches to Arthur on the stage of Pogo's, pressing his face into the crook of his arm as he laughs uncontrollably.  "I ha-hehehe-ated school...as a kid" He swallows, clearing his throat before continuing, "but my mother would always say, 'You should enjoy it. One day you'll have to work for a living!'. No I won't ma, I'm gonna be a comedian!" Arthur grins before falling into another fit of giggles.

Arthur frowns as he hears the audience laugh at him, not at the joke. Unsurprising, but dissapointing. They applaud anyway once the clip finishes, and Murray 'welcomes' him on.

"Please welcome out next guest, Arthur Fleck!"

The curtains pull aside, revealing a sickly looking Arthur Fleck. His skin is pale, emphasising the bags under his eyes which are worse than they usually are. The suit seems to hang off him more than usual, and his hair, although there seems to be an attempt to slick it back, sticks out oddly in places.

He grins and waves as he walks out, but trips on the curtain and stumbles forwards causing the audience to laugh again. Smiling awkwardly, he walks over to Murray but trips up the step as he goes to shake his hand. The audience laughs harder at him, some unsure if it's intentional and some finding his clumsiness genuinely funny.

Arthur bites his lips seeing himself walk over to the other two on stage, trembling not only in nervousness and excitement, but from the fit of laughter threatening to burst.

The applause dies down, and Arthur looks at the audience beaming. He sits in the chair awkwardly, crossing and uncrossing his legs several times before settling with them uncrossed.

"Good evening, Arthur"

"Hi Murray-haha" He slaps hand over his mouth trying to swallow down the laughter, "Thanks for hav-haha-having me. It's been a lifelong dream of mine"

Murray stares at Arthur, watching his shoulders shake with laughter as he desperately tries to hold it back in horror, then at the audience with his eyebrows raised as if it's a joke. A few people laugh, along with a few confused mumbles.

"Are you alright there?"

"I'm fi-HAHA" Arthur explodes into a fit of laughter, his face quickly going red in humiliation. He tries to muffle himself with his hand but it still echoes through the studio. It's followed by a loud, ugly choking sound, then a retching sound through the laughs. This is one of the bad episodes; the one where it feels like he just swallowed glass while drowning. The most painful and embarassing type.

This time nervous chuckling comes from the mostly dead silent audience, as they and Murray stare at the guest, who's face just becomes redder and redder as he wishes the ground would swallow him whole.

"I'm sor-" He tries but is cut of again, "I ha-Haha-have-"

Arthur pulls the medical card out if his pocket and hands it to Murray who, previously thinking this was some part of his act, reads it over and frowns almost sympathetically. "This condition actually exists?"

Arthur nods, choking again, then gasps and laughs a bit longer before his episode begins to subside. "I can't control it"

"Hm..." Murray hands the card back, and moves on quickly, "So you're a stand up comedian? Would you like to tell us a joke?"

His eyes seem to brighten as the audience reply with encouragement. "Yeah? Ok!"

He pulls the journal out of his pocket, ignoring the comment he gets, and flicks through the pages. Crude drawings, random thoughts, ramblings, the same word scribbled over the entire page. Then, he falls on a familiar sentence. 'I just hope my death makes more cents than my life'

"Don't worry, we've got all night"

Arthur glances at him, then turns the page and smiles to himself as he finds one. "Ok, ok. Knock knock!"

"And you had to look that up?"

"I wanna get it right"

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Its the police, ma'am. Your sons been hit by a drunk driver, he's dead!" He chuckles and looks up expecting a laugh. All he gets is a few boos, awkward chuckles and a 'womp womp'. Sally immediately turns to him upset and scolds him for the joke, and Murray also tells him it's inappropriate.

"I'm- I'm sorry" Arthur frowns and flicks through the pages "Um...Do you want to hear what the homeless man said to me the other day?"

"Sure, ok"

"I would, but I couldn't understand him. He made no cents!"

The man grins proudly, but his joke only earned a few laughs. The smile slowly fades as he looks at Murray discouraged, then back down at the journal. Murray gives the audience a look that just says "check out this clown"

"I'm sorry, it's just been a rough few weeks, Murray" Arthur says, reaching up to pick at his right eyebrow which is significantly thinner than his left from his nervous habit. "My mother died a few days ago...and I learnt I'm adopted. I don't know who I am anymore"

"Your mother is dead?"

"Yes" He replies, though he sounds unbothered by it. He looks back down at the page and pauses at another set of sentences towards the bottom. The first two are crossed out from his changing thought process.

--I-cold-hav-killed-somone--
 
-I-shold-hav-killed-myself--

I shold kill myself

"How about another Joke?" Arthur finally offers, breaking the awkward silence he doesn't seem aware of.

Arthur's heart drops as he watches himself move his hand underneath his jacket towards his waist band, saying the two words that would've been his last.

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

Arthur just smiles then in one swift motion, he pulls the gun out, presses it underneath his chin, and pulls the trigger. His head flies back as his blood stains the window behind him, the audience screaming in terror as he twitches. Murray rushes to his side trying to see if he's still responsive.

He watches in horror as he sees himself gasping, choking on his own blood as it rushes down his neck staining his clothes. He's still alive. He's still conscious. His last moments would've been spent in pain, surrounded by people who only wanted to use him for laughs. The people who made fun of him, made fun if his dreams, made fun of his condition.

It's a bad punchline.

The video quickly cuts off with a "Please stand by screen", leaving him to stare at his own reflection. Anger quickly becomes drowned out by a crushing wave of nausea, and he runs towards the window, throwing up onto the fire escape. He's not sure if it's watching himself die that's making him feel sick, or how he was treated in what could've been his last few moments. Murray still made fun of him after he found out about Arthur's condition. The audience laughed at his clumsiness even after they could see it was embarassing.

He throws up again, reaching up to tangle his fist in his hair and laughs. It's pained, yet oddly freeing. As if Arthur had full control over it for once in his life. A sound from behind catches his attention, and he sees Joker and John in the doorway looking concerned. Arthur just laughs harder, clutching the window frame with his hand and then deliberately whacks his head against the wood. "Fuck Murray. Fuck them all. How dare they do that to him? Do that to me?"

There is no reply. But Arthur doesn't need one.

He shuts his eyes and smiles as he thinks back to when he put a bullet in Murray's brain, and chuckles in satisfaction.

He really did get what he fucking deserved.