151. Stolen car

A police officer stops a car and says: “Congratulations, sir! You are the 1,000,000th car to drive over this bridge – you win $10,000! What will you do with that money?”

The driver gets very emotional and says, “First of all, I’ll finally make my driver’s license!” The wife cuts in, “Don’t listen to him, officer, he’s still drunk!”

A hard-of-hearing granny from the back seat grumbles, “I knew we shouldn’t have taken the stolen car!”

A voice from the trunk adds, “Hey, are we past the border now?”I played our wedding video backwards yesterday. It really cheered me up to see how I take the ring off my wife’s finger, get out of the church and go drinking with my best friends.