I do not own these characters, Marvel and Sony do.

I'm at the clock tower, watching Gwen fall.

"No!" I scream, my voice bounces off the walls repeating itself again and again.

I watch the scene unfold once more.

My web attaches to her but its to late.

I hold her in my arms, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Not again, not again," I whisper.

Suddenly a shaken voice comes from her lips, "Why didn't you save me, it's all your fault."

I look towards her, more tears threatening to spill.

"I... I..." I can't argue, it is my fault, all my fault.

The scenery changes around me and soon I am back in my neighbourhood, staring at the ashes of my house.

Aunt May is in the stretcher, I run up to her, tears still spilling from before.

"Oh please no," I choke out between tears.

Seconds of silence fill the air, only silent sobs can be heard.

"Why didn't you save me, it's all your fault," her words are barely hearable, but I know what she says.

"I know, it's my fault," I say believing her words.

The world morphs around me leaving me on Oscorp's roof staring at Captain Stacy's almost dead body.

"Why didn't you save me, it's all your fault," he whispers, a disappointed expression crosses his features.

I nod, not wanting to burst into more tears.

Then I find myself back on the street, hovering my hands over Uncle Ben's bullet wound.

"Not this again," I scrunch up my eyes not wanting to look into Uncle Ben's.

"Why didn't you save me, he was right in front of you, you let him kill me, it's all your fault."

"I know, I know it's all my fault, everything is my fault, I hate my life!" I scream, my voice rising with each word.

~

I shoot up in my bed and look around.

My hand comes to my face feeling for my mask, luckily it still sits on my head covering my bloodshot red eyes.

I must of fallen asleep, haven't done that in a while.

I stand up from the bed shaking.

I have nothing to change into and I am too afraid that they have cameras installed in my room to take off my mask and take a shower, so I just walk out.

After a few minutes of wondering in the halls I finally find the lift.

"Jarvis, Avengers floor please," I say into thin air.

"Of course, sir," he replies.

~

A few minutes go by and I find myself coming out of the lift and stepping into a familiar room.

Clint and Natasha turn their heads towards me.

"What?" I question stepping inside, "Tony is the one who locked me up inside the tower, so stop being so surprised that I'm here."

They shrug and turn back to the television.

I walk to join them on the couch when I notice what their watching.

"Hey, can you change to something else?" I ask.

"What, you don't like the news?" Natasha wonders.

"Doesn't the news bother you? Don't you feel bad hearing about all the people you didn't save, just because you were to tired to stay up all night protecting the city?"

Natasha thinks about it for a minute, not answering my question, but she does change the channel.

"I guess it's just me then," I murmur quietly.

I stare at the television blankly, not really paying attention.

Suddenly Thor bursts through the door, "Where are the pop tarts?" he shouts.

"Don't you think you've had enough pop tarts for a while?" asks Clint.

"Where are they, eye of hawk!" he screams angrily.

Clint points to the cupboard afraid to argue further with the god of thunder.

I burst out laughing, "Thor likes his pop tarts a little to much?" I ask.

Clint nods vigorously, getting a dirty look from Thor.

I smile, The Avengers are a crazy bunch.

"Hey Spidey, wanna play a game?" asks Clint holding up a Nintendo controller.

A smirk creeps its way onto my face to match Clint's grin.

"I've been playing since I was 5," I laugh.

"Hmm let's test your skill then," he says tossing the controller at me.

I catch it without moving my gaze away from Clint.

He presses a button and Mario Cart comes onto the screen.

"I don't know why I'm here," Natasha says leaving the room.

~

"That's not possible! You cheated somehow!" Clint says standing up from the sofa.

"You just won't admit defeat," I smirk.

"16 - 0, that's not possible, I rule at Mario Cart!" Clint argues.

"Sorry Clint, but not today," I say.

"I just... what... how?" he stutters.

"Wanna play a different game?" I ask.

"Definitely!"

I grab the controller and look through the available options, before coming to one I like.

"What's that?" he asks.

"You haven't played this?" he shakes his head, "It's like the Olympic Games, you have to actually run and jump in front of the television, you don't use the controllers."

"Do they have archery?" he wonders.

"No, but they do have javelin," I smile.

"Fine, it'll have to do," he says sadly.

~

A few hours later.

Steve and Tony walk into the room just as I win another round of volleyball.

"Spike!" I yell.

"You're beating Katniss in volleyball?" asks Tony, clearly amused.

"Katniss? But yeah," I smile.

"What do you want for dinner?" Steve asks no one in particular.

"Wait, Captain America cooks?" I ask.

"Yup," Clint says.

"How about... spaghetti?" Tony asks.

Steve nods and starts right away on cooking.

"I'm not hungry, I'll be in my room," I say, turning to leave.

"But you haven't eaten anything all day," Steve states a little concerned.

"It's fine, not a big deal," I say giving them a fake smile and walking out the door.

They are going to notice something is wrong.

~

I sigh walking into my room and grabbing my web shooters, jabbing a pencil I found into it to change a few things for the better.

I spend all night tinkering with them and sketching improvements for my suit.