I go to school Monday in a strangely good mood, feeling lighter after my weekend and happy with myself for taking the steps that Jesse has been wanting me to take this whole time. I walk into class without the usual air of annoyance and nonchalance, even greeting a few of my classmates whom I wouldn't normally spare a second glance for. The sun is shining through the windows, the sky is blue, and for once I don't feel like a complete imposter in this city. Now I can at least say I've been to a Warriors game.

I'm getting a head start on the notes that Ms Lawson is copying on the board when Percy walks in, a bounce in his step. I immediately stop my pen scratching to examine his face, which has healed substantially since I last saw him a week ago. His eye only has a small rim of fading purple underneath, his lip has scabbed over, and the cut on his cheek is cleaned and has a small white bandage across it. He grins when he sees me, and I narrow my eyes, suspicious as he plops down next to me and takes out his binder with a jovial attitude.

"Good morning," he says, but I'm still staring at the side of his face, not believing his good mood. The last time I saw him, he had a dark storm cloud circling his head, and he barely looked my way. Now, when I don't answer right away, he turns to stare into my eyes. "What?"

I scan his face, but I don't exactly want to remind him that he should be upset with me, and I don't want to spoil his good mood by bringing up whatever fight he got in, so I just shrug and look back at the board.

"Nothing," I say, and he looks away as well, starting on the notes as the final bell rings and everyone finds their seats.

Percy makes pleasant, plastic conversation all class, and soon enough I can stand it no longer. Ten minutes before the bell we're working on the homework assignment, Percy humming some nameless tune as he quickly fills out the answers when I slam my pencil down.

"Why are you pretending to be so happy?" I ask, and he freezes for a moment before laughing slightly.

"I'm not pretending. I'm just in a good mood, is all."

He stops the humming, but continues to fill out his sheet, not looking my way.

"I've seen you in a disgustingly good mood," I say, gesturing to him. "And this stiff smile, this mindless humming, this isn't what it looks like. You're faking it."

He doesn't say anything, so I continue.

"If you're still mad at me for how I acted at the carnival, then just say it," I say. "Don't pretend like everything is fine. I haven't even had the chance to properly apologize, but I want you to know I am sorry."

He still doesn't answer, just scratching down his work on the last question.

"Is it that fight you got in?" I push. "Look, I've lost my fair share of fights. It sucks, I get it."

A wave of something washes over him, and his expression darkens as he raises his gaze to mine.

"No, you don't."

I blink, but before I can form any morsel of a response to his change of mood, a paper is placed on my desk. Percy looks up as Ms Lawson places his test in front of him as well, and Percy flips his over, revealing an A- written in red ink staring up at him.

"An A-?" I say, my eyebrows raising as I look at his copy of last week's test. "You slipping, Walker?"

"What'd you get?" he changes the subject, but I can see his ears tinging pink as he stuffs his paper in his bag.

I sigh, flipping my paper over with the attitude of someone used to seeing an F or a D- written in a mocking scarlet. "I got another . . ."

I trail off, as it's not an F or a D- I'm seeing, but a C+, foreign and glorious where it sits next to my messily scrawled name. I stare down at it, my fingers creasing the edges of the paper as if sure it'll fly away and to some other kid's desk. I narrow my eyes, holding it up to the light like someone checking a counterfeit bill as Percy whacks me in the shoulder lightheartedly.

"Hey!" he says with a grin. "A C+! That's awesome!"

"Hardly," I scoff, but I can barely hold back my smile as I slip my paper neatly into my binder and place it in my bag. Percy shakes his head and grins.

"I knew you had it in you," he says proudly, and I feel my cheeks heating up.

"Even when I was throwing my textbook at your head?"

"Especially then," he says. "Just had to channel that passion into spiteful dedication to defeating your enemy: mathematics."

I laugh. "Right. Does this mean I can stop sitting through those after school hours of torture?"

He grins with a shake of his head. "You couldn't get rid of me even if you wanted to."

I roll my eyes, but let myself smile and celebrate this small victory. I can't wait to tell Jesse, so much so that when the bell rings, I don't head to Home Economics, instead making a beeline for the office and approaching the front desk. The horn-rimmed eyes of the secretary peer down at me, obviously remembering the last time I was here in the way they darken in disapproval.

"Can I help you?" she asks stiffly, and I place my forearms on the counter.

"Yes. I'd like to make a phone call."

"A phone call?" she repeats. "To whom?"

"My dad."

"And what is the purpose of this call?"

"I got a C+ on my math test."

She blinks at me. "You got a C+ on your math test. And this calls for an immediate notification?"

I nod. "It does."

She stares at me for a while, and then sighs, picking up the phone and handing it to me. I repeat the number to her and wait as the line rings.

"Hello?"

"Jesse! It's Alex."

"Alex?"

"Yeah, you know. Your daughter?"

"Yeah — is everything okay? What happened? Why are you calling?"

"I got a C+ on my math test," I say, and the line goes quiet before Jesse lets out a slow breath.

"A C+? And you didn't cheat?"

"I didn't cheat."

"You didn't pay some kid to take the test for you?"

"Nope."

"Well, this calls for a celebration."

"I certainly think so."

"And this is the reason you called me in the middle of my work day?"

"It is."

"There's no emergency?"

"None at all."

He laughs. "Love you, kid."

"Love you, too. I'll see you at home."

"See you."

I hand the phone back, and the lady rolls her eyes and hangs it up. I thank her happily, turning on my heel and bouncing out of the room, not even realizing how easily I told Jesse I loved him until I'm sitting down next to Stacey in Home Ec and it doesn't even matter anymore.

"Psst," Stacey says to me as Ms Farlin drones on about how to sew pants. We're at a table with Lindsey, Sasha, and Jen, all of whom are doodling in their notebooks and not paying attention to the teacher. I lean in towards Stacey, and she slides me a piece of paper. "My birthday party is on Friday. Bring a bathing suit."

I nod, unfurling the pink leaflet and seeing the details of her party shining up at me in gold glitter:

STACEY'S 13th BIRTHDAY BASH
FRIDAY, APRIL 16th, 5:00pm
1407 WILSON DRIVE
BRING YOUR BATHING SUIT, PJS, AND A SLEEPING BAG

There's a sketch of a girl diving into a pool below, and I stare at her in her tiny, drawn-on bikini, her stomach exposed and her belly button pointing at me in accusation. I feel a dark cloud pass through me, sucking out my good mood and leaving me feeling hollow.

After school, I trudge home slowly, as Les says she's going to a wedding today and closed down the shop early. I drag my feet up the stairs and open the front door, blinking in surprise when I hear a loud pop, and confetti comes raining down on me. There Jesse stands, a wide grin on his face as he holds the confetti cannon and widens his arms.

"Congratulations!"

I offer him a weak smile, and his falters as I take off my shoes and head for the stairs.

"What's wrong, kid?"

"I'm just a little tired," I mumble, heading up the stairs and into my closet. I fall onto my bed, pulling the covers over my head and staring at the darkness. Under my shirt, my fingers graze over the scar on my side; I can feel the round marks the iron left me with, and the sharp edge. I can feel the heat of it, and the pain. I can hear my own cries and begs for my mother to stop.

The door to my closet clicks open quietly, and a slice of light grows across the sheet that conceals me. I don't move.

"Alex . . ?" Jesse's voice says quietly, and he gingerly steps into my closet, turning the light on. He sits on the edge of my bed. "What's going on?"

I pull my arm out of the covers and toss the crumpled up invitation, which I'd been clutching onto the entire walk home. I hear him shift, and then the sound of him flattening out the paper. After a moment, he sighs.

"I see the problem," he says, "but, I'm sure not everyone will be swimming?"

"They will be," I mumble. Jesse sighs again, and his hand comes and pulls the sheet down. I clutch at it, but he won't let me hide myself again, so I grab the pillow and shove it over my head.

"You don't have to go."

"I've never been to a birthday party before," I mumble stupidly, feeling embarrassed for being so childish about this. Jesse reaches for the pillow and pulls it away, and I cover my face with my arms.

"Okay, well then we'll just have to get you one of those one piece bathing suits at the mall before Friday," he says firmly, and I peek at him through my arms.

"I'm not allowed in the mall."

"No, you're not allowed in the Gap."

I can't help but grin a little, and I sit up, shaking my hair out of my face and taking the invitation back from him.

"I don't even wanna go that badly," I say nonchalantly, tossing the paper over my shoulder as Jesse laughs.

"Sure." He ruffles my hair. "So let's talk about this grade of yours, Einstein."

*

"Okay, so now you can remove the brackets, since you expanded it, right?"

"Right."

"And you have to make sure you're still keeping PEMDAS in mind, so next we have to look at the exponent on the two here, right?"

"Right."

"So two to the power of three, that'll be eight, right?"

"Right."

"And now we can move onto the multiplication here, right?"

"Right."

"And you're not paying any attention, right?"

"Right."

"Alex," Percy groans, putting down his pencil. I snap into focus, looking back down at the equation as the boy runs his hands down his face. "Just because you got one C+ doesn't mean you can suddenly stop trying. You've been zoning out for the whole hour."

"I'm sorry," I say, "I'm not doing it on purpose."

He looks at me, then closes the textbook and sighs. "What's on your mind?"

I shrug.

"Stacey's party?" he asks, and I raise my eyebrow.

"What, you coming?"

"Ha-ha." He rolls his eyes. "Deej was talking about it. Stacey made a show of inviting Dana right in front of her."

"Aw." I pout. "Did she cry?"

"No, she didn't," Percy says coldly, and I smile.

"Well, good for her." I lean back and stretch, flipping my textbook shut as well and twirling my pencil between my fingers as Percy watches me closely.

"You should be careful, you know," he says, and I lean forward in my seat again.

"So you keep saying."

"I'm serious," he says. "Stacey's slumber parties are war zones. You'll be lucky if you make the night."

"I think I can handle a preteen girl," I snort, and he shrugs with a look that says 'your funeral.' I roll my eyes. "You and Mustard are always on about Stacey, but I have yet to see any real evidence that she's this evil mastermind you seem to think she is."

"Well, when you do see it, it'll be too late," Percy says ominously, and I grin.

"Yeah, all right, Hal, take it down a notch." I stand up, grabbing my textbook and shoving it into my bag. "Your hour is up, anyway. I'll see you Monday. That is . . . if I survive."

I waggle my eyebrows suggestively as I disappear up the staircase, heading to my room to grab my overnight bag, which contains pjs, a toothbrush, toothpaste, clothes for tomorrow, and the bathing suit that Jesse bought me yesterday. It's a simple blue one piece, and it has a hole in the back that I was worried about, but it was the only one I really liked, so I decided to risk it. I also grab the sleeping bag Jesse found for me, and the poorly-wrapped gift that we also found at the mall for Stacey. I look at myself in the mirror, and the same old bland face stares back. I picture Stacey, and likely all the girls at this sleepover, clad in bright colours and buckets of eyeshadow. I wonder briefly how I would look with makeup on, or some clothes on that weren't my old flannel and baggy jeans, but I can't picture it, so I look away and head downstairs instead.

Jesse drives me to Stacey's at five, and I can't tell if the twisting in my stomach is excitement or nerves or something weird I had for lunch. I tap my fingers on my knee, watching the houses through the window as Jesse's Clapton cassette plays through the speakers.

"You still worried about the bathing suit?" Jesse asks me after a few minutes of silence. "It seemed to cover the scar, I don't think you need to be concerned."

"It's not that." I shake my head, looking forwards now as Jesse glances over at me with worry.

"Is something else wrong?" he asks, adjusting his hand on the wheel and looking at me again. I sigh, running my hands through my hair and shrugging.

"I just — I've never done this kind of shit," I say. "Going to a sleepover with a bunch of girls, talking about crushes and periods and the colour pink."

Jesse laughs. "I think you'll find that girls aren't all that two-dimensional."

I sigh, and I can feel him looking at me again.

"Come on, kiddo. Spit it out."

I lean back in my seat. "I feel like I'm one of those aliens in that stupid Carpenter movie from last year."

Jesse blinks. "Wha — They Live?"

"I feel like I'm one of those things, and all of these girls have a pair of those glasses, and they can see me for what I really am."

Jesse frowns, looking like he's trying to remember the plot of the movie before shaking his head and pulling over the car. We're about half a block away from Stacey's house, but he shifts into park and looks at me.

"Look," he says, forcing me to tear my eyes away from the windshield. "It's normal that you feel a little . . . different than these girls. You are different. You've been forced to grow up way sooner, and you've suffered more than they likely ever will in their entire lives."

"Gee, you really know how to make a girl feel better," I say dryly, and he smiles.

"My point is, this girl — Stacey, she doesn't know about what you've been through; she just sees you for the person that you are, and she likes you enough to invite you to her birthday," he says. "She doesn't have x-ray glasses, Alex. The only way she'll be able to know who you really are is if you tell her. Maybe you would feel better if you didn't conceal so much about yourself all the time. It felt better telling me about it, didn't it?"

I give a reluctant, one-armed shrug. "Yeah, sure, a bit."

"And you've been friends with this girl for a couple of months now, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Alex, I think the reason you feel like an imposter isn't because they know everything about you, but because they don't," he says. "It's hard to bear what you've been bearing all on your own. Friends are meant to help you with that weight. You told Percy about it, didn't you?"

"Only because he forced it out of me," I say bitterly.

"Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't wait until these girls force it out of you," he says. "And I'm not saying you have to chime in with your tragic past at circle talk tonight, but just take it into consideration. Life is too short to spend it trying to be someone you aren't."

I mumble out an "I guess," and Jesse sighs, pulling back onto the road and driving down the rest of the street before pulling over on the corner in front of Stacey's. He grabs my sleeping bag from the back seat and hands it to me.

"You want me to walk you to the door?" he asks, and I give him a side-eyed look before rolling my eyes and opening the door.

"Don't patronize me," I say, and he grins, looking out through the passenger door as I grab my duffel bag off the floor.

"Have a good time," he says jovially. "I love you!"

"Yeah, yeah," I say, shutting the door as he laughs. I wave mockingly at him as he pulls away before turning to the large house before me, which has a long walkway leading up to a whole lotta stairs so it feels like I'm standing in front of freaking Xanadu or something. I groan internally, but ultimately decide I have no choice but to lug my bag up the path, towards the torturous penitentiary that is a thirteen-year-old girl's birthday party.