No character death just the subject of dying 3/30/19

"Would you rather drown or die in your sleep." Lance asks as he stares up at his glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. His bright blue eyes contrasting the darkness around the two boys laying on Lance's queen sized bed. The Cuban keeps the steady stroking of his hand in Keith's hair. The pale boy had his head on the brunettes chest and his head moved with every calming breath Lance took. Lance didn't know exactly how they go to this topic but he thinks it had something to do with the topic of how reckless Keith was and they talked about how they've both had near death experiences. Keith had used the excuse of 'You only live once' and Lance didn't like it one bit thank you very much.

Keith hummed in thought and it send vibrations throughout Lance's chest in a soothing way. Lance hoped that Keith wasn't almost asleep since they both knew that he needed it, "I'd rather drown." Keith answered honestly as his eyes stay closed and he listened to Lance's heart beat. Lance stiffened, drowning would be one of his last choices for sure. His closest death experience was when he was six and decided to go for a swim since it was mid july and it was a beautiful day. He made it to the ocean and tried surfing but a wave had hit him and the under currents in the ocean pulled him under and scraped him up. He doesn't remember much except his lungs being on fire and then his mom crying. He supposed it was better that way so it didn't taint his image of the ocean being beautiful and his safe place. 

Keith felt the muscles tense and turned his head so his chin was now on Lance's chest and he looked at Lance with a questioning eyebrow raise, "Would you rather die in your sleep?" Lance nodded instantly, "Drowning is painful." He answered carefully. Keith nodded and went back to his earlier position of his cheek on Lance's chest and his hand was playing with Lance's shirt. "I just don't want to fall asleep and never wake up again, I suppose," Keith answered quietly. "I usually stay up late with my hand on my knife just in case a murderer comes in and so I can listen to your heartbeat and now you're okay." Keith says and he puts a hand over Lance's heart. 

"I wanna be in control in some way, like when I give up the fight of getting air and just start breathing in the water. I would feel alive right before I go but when you're asleep you get no say. I never got a say growing up, I want to have some control at the end of my life since I didn't have control in the beginning, I suppose." Keith abbreviates. Lance stares down at the bed of hair on his chest and restarts running his fingers through it, "I'm sorry you grew up the way you did... I wish I was there to be with you and to make you happy. People are mean and you didn't deserve the bullying. I just hope I make you as happy as you make me." Lance says.

Keith says, "Lance,"

Lance hums in question as he stares at the slowly fading glow of his stars. How had they even lasted for this many years? He didn't know but he didn't wanna take them down. 

"You're a bonehead if you don't think you have made me the happiest I have ever been. You're the only family I have and I would do anything for you, Lance McClain."

Lance could go on and on about how much he loved Keith but he decided that Keith already knew how much he loved him so he bent his head down to kiss his boyfriend's head and said, "I love you too, Keith Kogane." 

Lance's eye slowly shut after he held Keith's hand over his heart and and Keith had listened to, and felt, the slow heartbeat and slowly fell asleep himself. Somehow the stars glowed brighter.