Bear with me I'm so bored right now so interpret the timing anyway you want. Also, please let me know if I should add any warnings :)

XXXX: Uh, hey, is this Rolo?

xxxx: Sorry, dude, wrong number. 

XXXX: Oh, okay. Sorry for bothering you. 

xxxx: Hey, are you talking about Rolo Blander?

XXXX: Uh, yeah, actually. How'd you know?

xxxx: Dude, you may want to avoid him, the guy is a known playboy.

XXXX: Oh, he is? Damn, that kinda sucks.

xxxx: Well, I figured I'd save you from the drama. I'm Lance.

XXXX: Hey, I'm Keith. 

Lance: Ugh, you would not believe the kind of day I've had. 

Keithyboiii♥: Tell me all the deets. 

Lance: Okay okay okay, so you know Nyma?

Keithyboiii♥: Rolo's current girlfriend? Yeah.

Lance: She fuckING MADE A PASS AT ME TODAY.

Keithyboiii♥: YOU'RE KIDDING. 

Lance: BITCH I WISH I WAS. IT WAS SO A W K W A R D, SHE DID IT IN FRONT OF ROLO HIM SE LF.

Keithyboiii♥: jesus

Lance: I know, I knOW.

Keithyboiii♥: Hey, how long would it take to get to the middle of the earth. Asking for a friend. 

Lance: probably at least more than a few seconds. 

Keithyboiii♥: Thank you for your answer, O wise one. I shall take that with me wherever I go and when my grandchildren ask 'hey, Keith. How did you become so great and smart and wise?' I'm going to chuckle and fix my old man glasses and look dramatically out of the window. 'Why, it was one bit of information my friend Lance gave me oh so many years ago.' Then they'll ask what you said and I'll grin and say 'probably at least more than a few seconds'. 

Lance: I like how this implies that you're going to be smart and wise. 

Keithyboiii♥: I'm going to rip your eyes right out of your face. 

Lance: Thank GOD you won't rip my eyes right out of my ARMS because as we ALL know, eyes can be found in more places than just the face, like how you implied in that last sentence. 

Keithyboiii♥: Ew, can you even imagine having eyes on your arms?

Lance: I'd really ratHER NOT

Lance: Hey. Hey keefers.

Keithyboiii♥: What. 

Lance: _(attached a photo)_

Keithyboiii♥: I hate you and I hope you burn in hell

Lance: Fine, I guess I'll see you there sipping an apple juice from a cocktail glass while sitting on my throne, asshole. 

Keithyboii♥: Of course it would be from a COCKtail glass.

Lance: YOU BEST BELIEVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER

Keithyboiii♥: I can't get the image of milk coming out of your nose in the middle of lunch. 

Lance: do not juDGe Me fOR MY pAsT sInS

Keithyboii♥: Oh, shut up, it was really cute.

Lance: I cried for ten minutes. 

Keithyboii♥: I know.

Lance: It felt like I was breathing in chemicals. 

Keithyboiii♥: _(attached a gif)_

Lance: You're my soulmate, I've just decided. 

Keithyboii♥: Hey, isn't it crazy that Rolo gave me the wrong number but it ended up being yours and now we're best friends cuz that's some crazy shit

Lance: Aww, it's cute that you think it's crazy and not fate. 

Keithyboii♥: I don't know how to respond so I'm going to change the subject. Don't you hate it when your parents say they're going to pack you chocolate chip cookies but instead pack you oreOS LIKE DAD NO I ASKED FOR CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES 

Lance: Wow, I know we're close and all, but dude, I'm so sorry you see me as a father figure.

Keithyboiii♥: I'm going to commit arson.

Lance: I'll help you. 

Keithyboiii♥: Hey do you wanna hang out after school tomorrow?

Lance: Hell fucking yeah I do let's go man

Lance: Do you know the muffin man?

Keithyboii♥: No, I don't, but you could ask Pidge, I bet she does. 

Lance: W h a t

Keithyboii♥: Hey, do you wanna be my boyfriend?

Lance: Of fucking course I do.

Lance: Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith

Keithyboiiifren♥: What's up 

Lance: Are you awake?

Keithyboiiifren♥: no. 

Lance: Okay, sorry to bother you then. 

Lance: wait

Lance: I JUST HAD A MACAROON

Keithyboiiifren♥: so...?

Lance: HOW HAVE I NOT HAD ONE SOONER

Keithyboiiifren♥: I... don't know?

Lance: MacarooOOOOOOOOOoooonsssssssss

Keithyboiifren♥: Are you high

Lance: HIGH OFF OF THE JOYS OF LIFE.

Keithyboiifren♥: You're high because macaroni makes you feel joyful.

Lance: It's macaroons, not macaroni, you uncultured swine. And yes, macaroons. 

Lance: And you too, I suppose. 

Keithyboiiifren♥: Thanks, I love coming in second place, right after macaroons. I feel so loved. 

Lance: Do I love you? Yes. Do I love macaroons? Also yes. Which do I love more? Obviously you. 

Keithyboiiifren♥: That's sweet.

Keithyboiiifren♥: Just so you know, I love knives more than you. 

Lance: I wouldn't expect anything more. 

Lance: Could you grab some cookies from the store?

Keithyboiiifren♥: Lance, you ask that every time I'm at the store. Our house is just filled with cookies. 

Lance: Yeah, but you keep buying the cookies, so... am I really to blame here?

Keithyboiiifren♥: Why did we decide to live together?

Lance: Because we love each other and now we don't have the burden of high school on our backs?

Keithyboiii♥: oooh, speaking of, I heard Nyma and Rolo are getting married. 

Lance: Really?

Keithyboiiifren♥: Yeah, I guess Nyma didn't want to marry him unless he could get his act together and he DID 

Lance: Wow, I hope it's a good marriage. 

Keithyboiiifren♥: Well, it probably won't be as great as ours but yeah

Keithyboiiifren♥: wait

Keithyboiiifren♥: Shit

Lance: You want to get married?

Keithyboiiifren♥: can we talk about this when I get home?

Lance: Well fucking get home already omg

Lance: Okay so I decided Allura's going to be my best man.

Keithyfianceee♥♥: How's that going to work?

Lance: Do not question her. Who's your best man gonna be?

Keithyfianceee♥♥: It was a tie between Pidge and Shiro. Shiro ended up winning. 

Lance: Oh??? So you would've asked PIDGE, a GIRL,  to be your best man it's not weird, but when I ask ALLURA, who is also a GIRL, it's weird????

Keithyfianceee♥♥: I never said that! 

Lance: I want spaghetti. 

Keithyhubbydubdub♥♥♥♥: You always want spaghetti. But I agree. 

Lance: Hey, Keef. 

Keithyhubbydubdub♥♥♥♥: Yeah?

Lance: Country boooyyy I loooooOOve youuuuuuuuu bleGh~

Keithyhubbydubdub♥♥♥♥: Love you too, ya fucker. 

Lance: ;3♥