"Hey (Y/n), let's take a drive"

Knockout had felt many things in his time as a decepticon, but guilt wasn't one of them.

Until now that is.

Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

Now as he drove down a lonely dirt road with you in his passenger seat, a relaxed and content expression on your face, guilt gnawed at him in the pit of his tanks.

When he first saw you, you were just an average girl, working at an average job. There was really nothing special about you but for some reason, you had cought his interest. For days he drove by your place of work, hoping to catch a glance of you, even if it was only for a second.

When the morning comes
When we see what we've become
In the cold light of day, we're a flame in the wind

The first time he spoke to you, he was astonished by the fact that you were not afraid of him and what he was. You simply smiled up at him and introduced yourself without a hint of hate or malice, something he had not gotten in a very long time.

From that day on, he knew in his spark that he cared for you and as time passed, those feelings grew into something great. It wasn't long before you admitted that, you too, had feelings for him.

Everything was fine for quite some time. Both of you were happy and enjoyed the time you spent together. The day you got hurt, however, everything changed.

Not the fire that we've begun
Every argument, every word we can't take back
'Cause with all that has happened
I think that we both know the way that this story ends

Knockout had always been careful to make sure that none of the other deceptions found out about his little rendezvous with you.

He slipped up. It only took one time for him to not cover his tracks completely and Starscream found out. He could hear your screams playing in his head over and over like a broken record.

It was a miracle that you lived. Starscream tossed you away once he believed that you had died and if he was being honest, you should have. Knockout was a medic after all; he knew that injuries like the ones you had should have killed you but Primus must have been watching over you because he managed to get you medical attention in time to save your life.

The image of your blood soaked hair and clothes and the blank look in your eyes would forever be seared into his processor which was why he made the decision he did.

Then only for a minute
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits
I want to see you smile but
Know that means I'll have to leave

Late in the night, he sent a message to the Autobots, explaining the situation. He knew that as long as you were around him, you wouldn't be safe and he wasn't willing to gamble on your life again.

Knockout pulled off onto the side of the road where he was to meet the Autobots. You gave him a questioning look before turning your gaze as a ground bridge opened in front of you both. Making sure to not harm you, he transformed and held you gently in his servo.

A mix of confusion and fear for your lover crossed your face when you saw the members of the Autobots step through the portal.

Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

"Knockout what's going on!? You need to go, they'll hurt you!" You cried out with fear laced eyes.

"You're going with them. I'm sorry (Y/n), but I can't protect you anymore."

His words made you freeze and you felt your heart shatter in the split second you came to the realization of what was happening.

"What!? No, I'm not leaving you. If this is about the whole Starscream thing th-"

"No (Y/n)! This isn't up for discussion. I'm not letting you get hurt again just because of my selfish need to want you with me." He interrupted sternly, despite the part of him that was begging him not to let you go.

When the evening falls
And I'm left there with my thoughts
And the image of you being with someone else
Well, it's eating me up inside
But we ran our course, we pretended we're okay
Now if we jump together, at least we can swim
Far away from the wreck we made

The Autobots watched the exchange of words with an array of emotions. Some questioning and distrustful, others sympathetic and understanding.

"I don't want to leave you....I love you"

Knockout had to place you on the ground and turn away from you, hiding his optics that were quickly filling with lubricant. He knew that if he turned around to see your equally tear covered face, then he would let the other side of him win and he would take you home. He wouldn't be strong enough.

"I'm sorry"

He could hear your screams and pleas for him to come back, to not let them take you and his shoulders shook with oncoming sobs.

Then only for a minute
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits
I want to see you smile
Know that means I'll have to leave

"Knockout!"

He drove away. Away from his first and only love. Away from his future with you. Away from his happiness.

You screamed and kicked to try and free yourself from the grip of the Prime that held you, Tears rushing down your cheeks in waves. You screamed until your voice was gone and no sound could come out except for pathetic whimpers.

They took you back to their base. The moment you were set down, you tried to make a break for the exit but quick servos grabbed your retreating form and deposited you in a room, shutting the door that was much too high for you to reach on your own.

Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

Weeks passed. Every time you thought that you were getting a better, a fond memory or word would pop back into your mind and you would break down again.

Knockout wasn't any better. He hadn't gotten a lick of recharge since you left and it was begining to take a toll on him, physically and mentally. He wanted you back. No, he needed you back.

So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go
So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go

You refused to talk to anyone. You refused to eat and only slept when your body forced itself to from lack of energy.

The medic and Prime tried to reason with you, saying that your health was getting poorer the longer you continued to neglect basic human needs. You didn't care. You wanted him back.

It wasn't until you reached a month that you finally decided that you were going to do something. You had been devising a plan to escape. The Autobots had kept you on lockdown since you got there, only letting you go outside under supervision so you wouldn't run off but even then, that was rare. They didn't trust you to be alone anymore and you didn't blame them.

You took the saying "Fake it till you make it" literally and acted as if you were getting better, that you were finally moving on. It was nothing more than a lie.

Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier
Even though I might not like this
I think that you'll be happier, I want you to be happier

He was a mess. A complete mess that merely existed instead of really living. He had already been chewed out by Megatron and Starscream for his behavior, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore.

He was wondering around the medbay, not really doing anything, just wasting time when he found something on the floor.
He would have ignored it, had it not been for the fact that he thought he saw a glimpse of you.

He crouched down and picked up a small photo. It was of the both of you the time that you had gone to Alaska. He remembered how much you had wanted to see snow since Nevada was devoid of the cold substance.

He remembered how you had convinced him to lay down in the snow with you. You snapped a pic of the both of you smiling as you made snow angels, a concept that was really new to the both of you. He wasn't happy about it, but it made you happy so he did it for you.

Then only for a minute (Only for a minute)
I want to change my mind
'Cause this just don't feel right to me
I wanna raise your spirits (Wanna raise your spirits)
I want to see you smile but
Know that means I'll have to leave

A drop landed on the picture and his servos shook. He tucked the picture into the space close to his spark chamber before standing with determined eyes, wiping away the gathering tears. He was going to be selfish because he knew he couldn't spend any more time away from you.

As the sun set, most of the Autobots took their charges home. You sat on the couch with a book in your lap, although you weren't really reading it. You were waiting for the medic to turn his back so you could slip away.

Your moment came when he turned to look at something that popped up on his screen. Getting up as quietly as you could, you made your way down the tunnel before sprinting out into the chilly Nevada night. You ran for what seemed like miles, not really having a destination in mind, just putting as much distance between you and the Autobots as possible.

Know that means I'll have to leave
Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

You could see headlights in the distance and panicked, thinking that one of the Autobots had found you but the car screeched to a halt and transformed, revealing the towering figure of your lover.

He picked you up and held you against his chassis as sobs wracked the both of you. When you finally managed to calm yourself down enough to speak, you looked into his optics with a spark of elation.

"I missed you"

"I'm never leaving you again. Lets go home."

So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go