“Are you sure you're not in one of those panic....”

“No...No...I'm fine. Just had a bad dream.” I said stopping him mid way.

My brother was talking about my panic attacks...Those which I even hated to remember. The first time I had a panic attack was when I was three. I had gotten back home from school.

“I said NO!” I heard my mom yell at my dad.

“But what did I...?”

“Of course you didnt do anything. You separated me from my parents. I came with you only because I thought that you loved me. But I was wrong...so wrong that I regret it now. I hate you!” My mom broke down into tears.

“But honey, I just want to explain. That lady whom you saw with me was not...”

“Was not anybody? Thats what you want to say? Who sleeps in a bed with a 'nobody'?

At this my dad fell silent. He had no words to express himself. After sometime my dad re-entered with a bag.

“I'm leaving.” He said quietly.

At this, my mom looked up with her swollen and puffy eyes. She began crying even more than ever and I felt so bad for her...for myself...for my brother...to think that my dad would do such a thing. Then I felt hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I wanted to comfort my mother...comfort everyone...comfort myself but suddenly the world around me was swirling as if in an earthquake. Everything went pitch black. I felt myself not being able to breathe... I felt as if everything was over. I would not see my mom again.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the hospital with my mom seated next to me with dark circles under her eyes. She looked even more aged like this. Suddenly the happenings of the past came to my mind. I hoped, prayed that it would all be a dream and looked around for any signs of dad. But no. The truth was, he had left and I had to adjust to that. From then, the word panic attack just made me cringe.

From then, until today, my mom had looked after both of us. Working hard and saving every penny she got. We never got any pocket money like the other kids did...we didnt want it anyway. We already knew how hard mom was working for us.

“Ash, you better get ready soon or we're gonna get late.” My brother screamed from the other end of the house.

“OOOKKK........” I hummed as I began getting ready.

So typical of my brother.

Thankyou all for the support you've giving me which boosts my confidence. Hope you all know that I make covers so check it out. And next chapter will be dedicated to two lovely people so do check them out.

Love,
Jen