---- [T -> J] ----

T: Ah, yes, the 20's
T: What a time to be alive
J: It's only been 2020 for like three months
T: I meant the 1920's
T: When I wasn't alive
T: I wish it were the 1920's

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J: I love sleeping in guest bedrooms. They're always just a Little Off
J: Blanket tucked in too tight. Headboard is too cold. Fan is a little too loud. It's incredible

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T: I am fucking done
T: just throw me in the lake and leave me there to drown
J: We don't throw garbage in the water, Timmy. That's pollution.

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T: Oh hey u guys r back early
J: Moons haunted
T: Wha?
J: Moons haunted.

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J: The cave in on fire, you have 60 seconds. What do you take?
T: A nap

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T: what do you want
J: Bruce is having a gala tonight and your coming
T: No the fuck I ain't
J: Fine then, I'll just invite that guy from our AP History class who always flirts with me
T: that isn't going to work on me, Jay
T: also his name is Sam you stupid fuck
J: Or maybe the girl from your AP science class
T: Cody? Good choice. Her hair is very red; Dickie will approve
J: No wait- I know who my final choice is
T: surprise me
J: Steph was always my second choice as an i/s
T: i/s?
J: Insignificant other
T: ah
T: anyway, Roy's always been pretty hot, do you think Dickie would be mad if I borrowed him for the night?
J: Do you really want to play this game?
T: Sorry, don't have time to play with you, Roy's coming over

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J: Everyone keeps asking who my date is
T: I bet they are
T: Roy took me to the beach and now we're mocking your dumb Instagram posts
J: So you're having fun, that's nice
T: Yeah but I gotta go, Roy's got alcohol and popsicles in his tesla and I can think of two (2) uses for both of those things- don't let Steph talk you into doing anything I wouldn't do ;)

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T: All I want to do is love everybody but everybody makes it hard by being suuuuuper annoying

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J: I have Spotify right here on my computer. Do you want me to blast you?
J: Do you want me to put you on blast? 'Cause I got your history right here in the sidebar;
J: "Take It Back" by Jimmy Buffett;
J: "Nautical Wheelers" by Jimmy Buffett;
J: "Jolly Mon Sing" by Jimmy Buffett.
J: "Steamer" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: "Treat Her Like A Lady" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: "Mañana" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: "When Salome Plays The Drum" by James Buffett!
J: "Havana Daydreaming" by Jimmy Buffett!
J: What the fuck happened to you? Are you HAUNTED? Are you fucking POSSESSED? YOU USED TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!
T: I had a case of the Mondays!

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T: where r u going?
J: Well, all that's left in my life now is despair

-—

J: Why do I like you again?
T: Cause I'm smart?
J: I walked in on you with your face pressed against the microwave window at three in the morning saying "All right fucker where's my mac and cheese I want answers"
J: You call that smart?

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T: That's crossing a line, and this isn't a crosswalk!

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J:  I hate bookshops
T: Lucky for u ur w/ Timmy D then :)
J: Never call yourself that again

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T: if you're going to be mean to frogs log off

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J: Dickie, after putting on his new costume for the first time: "I didn't ask to be this hot"
J: "You think I chose this sapphire hue of perfection?"
J: "It's hard to be humble when you are the architect of handsome"
J: the worst part is I can't even disagree.
T: Damn those finger strips

---- [Proof God Is Dead] ----

D: Jaybird,,, my buddy, my man
D: I will print out my newest insta post of you and Timmy being soft and put it on the front door of city hall if you don't come home and wash the fucking dishes
D: Actually, I'll email it to Gotham Post with very detailed context :)
J: Dishes? Never heard of her

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D: Jason Peter Todd. Get away from the airport right now.
D: It's your turn to do the fucking dishes and I'm not doing them just because you wanna be a little bitch and leave the city because Timmy maybe might definitely like coffee more than you and I called you out for being soft on the Interwebs
W: Jaybird,,, u can't leave the city every time something you don't like happens
J: You can't control me

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J: Airport sandwiches are so expensive wtf
D: I'm on my way to the airport
J: Good luck, it's at least an hour by car with rush hour traffic and my flight leaves in twenty minutes :)

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J: Quick update; the air hostess is hot. with any luck, this'll turn out just like the toxic music video
D: Timmy, you are aware you and your coffee addiction are to blame for this right
T: I won't part with my iced coffee even if Jay's plane crashes and he dies and the red straw clashes with my funeral outfit
T: Also ur the one who called him soft???
J: Jump city here I come :)

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J: Oh fuck yes! X-Files is playing on the tv! How ya feel about ur coffee now, Timmy?
T: Pretty good, considering I have all of X-Files downloaded and a laptop and I didn't have to board a plane to watch it
J: Ah yes, but this is unaired footage so
T: What's the name of the airline ur using again? Manufacturing number for the plane as well, please. It's for science
J: Nice try Timmy, but I already locked the system, so no hacking for you :)
T: Ops, sorry for late reply, I was getting more coffee from that place downtown. You know, next to the record store?
T: Gasp, speaking of
T: y would u look at that, someone bought every Led Zeppelin record in stock. Huh, I guess it'll take them a while to get more... looks like you'll be stuck with the ones u already have for now
T: Oh wait, it seems that in ur rooms unprotected state, they've also gone missing,,,
J: Sorry, I can't hear you through Dickies AirPods
D: You took my AirPods?!
D: I'm literally six hours behind you Jaybird, you better fucking start running as soon as you touch land

---- [J -> R] ----

R: Jaybird you asshole! You took my suitcase!
R: And why was there a bottle of Jack Daniels in yours
J: I'm leaving the state! Mine wasn't big enough!
J: and take care of my Jack Daniels I'm leaving it in your custody

---- [Proof God Is Dead] ----

J: Dickie wait I'm sorry please don't do this
T: what now
W: There's literally no way Dick caught up with him that quickly
W: Right???
W: His plane shouldn't have even landed yet!
D: :)
D: You had your chance, Jason Peter Todd
J: Dickie listen I was kidding ok, you don't have to go this far
J: This is crossing a line, Dickie. Think about the consequences
D: I am a man without fear. You should've thought about that before you tried to get out of washing the dishes.

D has added A into chat [Proof God Is Dead]

T: goTtA bLasT
R: mcWHAT
W: A? Like, Agent A? Like Alfred?!
J: w h y
D: :)
A: Now stop right there, young gentleman.
A: Timothy, I am under the impression you have been run amuck in master Jason's room?
T: Mayhaps
A: Hmm. Well, since it is a space the both of you share, I won't insist you undo any redecorations that may have occurred today, but do keep the space clean?
T: I gotchu man
A: Master Wallace, Master Roy, it's always a pleasure to speak to you
W: Yeah! You too, Alfred! This isn't at all terrifying!!
R: ^^^^
A: As for you, master Jason.
T: ruh-roh
J: Listen, Alfred, Dickie is just overreacting. It's not that big a deal
A: The previous messages seem to say otherwise
R: ohmygod he can see the chat history
W: oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh-
J: Gahhh ok fine! Dickie and I are literally at the airport buying tickets right now! I'll wash the dishes when we get back!
A: As all ways, I'm grateful for your assistance :)
T: lol
A: Now, master Richard, would you kindly remove me from this chat before I see something that forces me to inform master Bruce of your virtual activities?
D: right away!

D has removed A from chat [Proof God Is Dead]

W: all in favour of never having to go through that again?
T: I
J: I
R: I
D: I'll hold off, but if pushed... I won't hesitate, bitch
W: Good enough for me
W: Now I'm gonna go and take a calming bath
D: omw lmao

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