---- [T -> J] ----

T: Oh you like witchcraft? name 3 townspeople you saw with the devil

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J: Roy, angrily making a sandwich: "Yanno, back in my day you couldn't just ask someone out. You had to buy the house across the bay from them, throw a bunch of parties, and just kind of hope they'd show up"

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T: Cranky because you've been cursed by the gods to roll a boulder up a hill for all of eternity aren't you

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J: You only hate me because I lured you into a wine cellar on the promise of a fine vintage and then left you to die in a wall. Grow up.

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T: If I were a star-crossed lover who was fated to die, I would simply not do that

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J: Third wheeling with a toxic couple is lit
T: Not when it's your parents

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T: No one has all three:
T: - Excessive hubris
T: - Wings made of wax courtesy of your rather whos a renowned Athenian craftsmen
T: - A lifejacket

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J: I've done nothing wrong. Except for all the atrocities. Besides that I'm innocent

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T: Varieties of clown, ranked from best to worst
T: 1. Jester (noble, refined, reveared ancestor of all modern clowns)
T: 2. Fool (similar to a jester but less commercial, more dedicated to every day clownery, usually does it for the love of the game rather than success)
T: 3. Regular clown (standard, not much to say)
T: 4. Rodeo clown (brave but brutish, no sense of subtle or nuance)
T: 5. Mime (doesn't laugh, untrustworthy, frequently trapping themselves within spaces invisible to non-clowns ⇽ stupid)
T: 6. Anyone who juggles
T: Feel free to add but if you reorder it ill kill you with my bare hands
J: 7. You
T:
T: What the fuck

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J: If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair

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T: Dickie, externally: As a hero, I don't believe senseless violence is how Bruce would want me to solve things
T: Dickie, internally: I'M GOING TO RIP HIS HEAD OFF AND SEND IT TO HIS FAMILY

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J: Aw, aw, ow! Call an ambulance, call an ambulance
J: But not for me
T: ohno

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T: Born? Living? You may be entitled to compensation!

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J: the real question, are you a top banana or a chimp chump?

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T: No use crying over spilled milk. No use weeping over stray peanutbutter. No use clutching at a fallen slice of toast screaming Why? Why?

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J: That's quite a lot of sins for a Sunday afternoon, don't you think?

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T: Giving someone six geese (a-laying, and thus in full protect-the-nest mode), much less SEVEN SWANS, does not seem to me, to be, per se, an act of true love

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

D: Conner when we were kids, before meeting Timmy: *black t-shirt, jeans, boots. Likes dogs.*
D: Conner post-timmy: *black, blue and red costume with yellow accents and s-shield on his chest, black boots with yellow accents, two black belts with a yellow belt on the right leg, red gloves, fade haircut. Black leather jacket with the yellow s-shield on the back and Shoulder Spikes, yellow teashade sunglasses and a gold earring. Black leather fingerless gloves. Spells his name with a K.*

---- [T -> J] ----

T: I don't even procrastinate anymore I just straight up neglect 100% of my responsibilities

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J: ok so if i build a tower high enough and harness the power of my sleep deprivation, do u think i could kill god
T: if we built a tower of babel, in this day and age, no one would stop us. we would build, and build, and one day inevitably breech the gates of heaven. and we would send in a probe, and then an exploratory team, clad in hazmat suits and protective gear, to enter the gates, and lo! before them would be a great, winding mass, a crumbling chitinous mountain range, a swooping winding wormous cavern, pale and sickly and turned to dust. and we will understand why no one stopped us: it will be the exoskeleton of God

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T: if Freud were still alive today I'd kill him with my bare hands

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J: You can't use backstreet boys to catch a criminal
T: Tell me why

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T: things I heart through the night from Roy's apartment:
T: - a door slamming
T: - someone saying "oh you sneaky bastard"
T: - the sound of a bell jingling down the hall
T: - someone at the end of the hallway gasping "hello beautiful!!!" in that very special I'm-talking-to-an-unexpected-cat voice

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J: When people look at me they will say "you are not ruler of the world" and that is just not acceptable

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T: this is so sad alexa kill your ceo

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J: what a fucking week
T: - Monday, 8:24am

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T: What are you writing?
J: The police want to know what kind of weaponry we keep in the house. I'm just letting them know that's private information
T: this just says "fuck around and find out" in calligraphy

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J: Due to personal reasons I will be going completely off the fucking rails

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T: yes I have WAP
T: W - Wasted
T: A - Academic
T: P - Potential

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J: Inside you are two brain cells
J: one is gay, the other is stupid
J: You are a clown

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T: Kill your Gods. Devour your oppressors.

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J: if you call me sus ONE MORE TIME-
T: red is kinda sus tho-
J: IM NOT SUS

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T:。　　•　　•　 　ﾟ　　。
　　.　　°　.　　•　• 　　.　　　　　。　.　 。°　.
　.　　 。　 ඞ 。　 . •
• pink was not the impostor
T: WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY?
T: WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY?

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J: it's fucking Wally I know it, what kind of sketchy bitch chooses to play as fucking orange

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T: the fucking BETRAYAL

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J: Do you wanna get burgers?
T: we have food at the house
J: Thats not what I asked
T: That's not fair. Of course I want burgers

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T: My pronouns are: none.
T: please do not refer to me
T: Even better: do not perceive me
T: for practical purposes, I do not exist

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J: hey Tim? Buddy? Why're you crying?
J: did the documentary mention another bird that mates for life?

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T: You fathoming? Huh? You fucking perceiving over there? Comprehending? BEHOLDING even? Bitch

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J: All my haters are like "aren't you wanted by the State?" It's like, yeah, I'm wanted by a lot of people, okay? That's the price of being hot
J: anyways, I did commit a smidge of treason

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T: don't ever call me OP. You will address me by my full name
J: overt pobert

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J: If you can't handle me at my worst leave because I don't have a best, I'm always an asshole

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