Two weeks have passed since I moved in. We got to know each other a lot better the day Dave invited me to have lunch with him. It was a week after the yogurt thing. He has been very busy with work lately that, instead of a full breakfast, he just wanted a take-out coffee to leave early for work, and I would see him the next day.

I learned that he liked to wear a different color each day. Today was Friday, which meant that he's going to wear a navy blue suit. Despite this cold weather, he also liked to be bare chest around the house whether he cared I was in the room or not; to run his fingers through his perfect hair every time he was nervously on the phone. And, as silly as it may seem, he had two pairs of slippers: one solely for the bathroom and the other for around the rest of the house. He seemed to like leaving pink posts-it on the fridge or microwave the night before. It was either a drawing of a cup of coffee -meaning that he will have a quick take-out. Or to tell me that he was going to be out all day. I instantly realized that was our thing: leaving notes to each other.

Today, I haven't found any.

It took me five days to adjust to his place. It was hard to find the utensils, in which cabinet did he keep all the glasses and plates, where did he keep all the bottles of shampoos, towels..., but as I got used to it all, it was now easy to find everything. Dave insisted that I shouldn't buy groceries every day since he had a storage food; once a week was enough to feed two bellies or even three.

I met her girlfriend, ish, named Michelle. I wasn't sure if they were exclusively dating or not. We haven't had the opportunity to talk because she typically left for work at 0600 am whenever she stayed the night. She was tall, thin, pretty with those big green eyes you couldn't tear your eyes away from and dark brown long hair. AKA a model.

It was 0730 in the morning when I placed down the two grilled cheese sandwiches, two glasses of orange juice, and his usual coffee at the eat-in kitchen table. Seeing that he still didn't come out of his room, I went to find him but instantly turned around and walked back to the kitchen when I saw him with Michelle holding hands.

Damn it! Did we already run out of post-its? He could've told me that he had company. Even if he had, I wouldn't have cooked for her because she usually didn't stay for breakfast. Why today? Hearing their footsteps coming closer, I pretended to be busy looking for something in the fridge.

"Good morning, Allys," greeted Dave, his smile reaching to his eyes. I turned around and closed the fridge.

"Good morning. How did you two sleep?"

"Great," replied Dave as they both sat down at the table. "And how about you? Did you sleep well?"

I nodded and felt uncomfortable watching Michelle looking at me from head to toe. I cleared my throat, "I let you two enjoy your breakfast. I hope you like what I cooked."

"Aren't you joining us?" He asked. I glanced at Michelle again. The way she was staring at the sandwich with such disgust made me want to snatch it from her and stick it into her tiny mouth.

"I already had breakfast," I lied and faked them both a smile. "Enjoy!"

"Let's just order some salad for breakfast." I could still hear Michelle's voice from the living room.

"What's wrong with this breakfast? I love it!" exclaimed Dave. "Try it. A little sandwich isn't going to hurt you."

"It's cheese. You know it doesn't do any good to my stomach."

"You didn't even try it," complained Dave and sighed. "Then, leave it there if you don't want it. We'll buy some salad on our way to work."

I rolled my eyes and made a mental note to tell Dave to give me a little heads up if she's staying for breakfast next time, which I doubt. I went to my room, sat down on my bed with my legs crossed, and thought about my life. What was I going to do with my life? Was I planning to apply for college in the meantime? Work full-time with my aunt instead?

My phone ringing in my jean pocket startled me, and I looked at the screen before answering. "Hi, Shannon."

"Good morning, soldier. Am I interrupting something? Are you busy?"

"Good morning, Shan. They're having breakfast, so I am not, " I told her, still the image of Michelle's disgusted face playing in my head.

"They? Who's they?"

"His girlfriend, ish. I'm not exactly sure what they are, to be honest."

"They're dating. It must be true since I read it in some magazines, and a close source from the couple said it was true."

"I know you read it in those gossip magazines that you love so much, and I hate so much. Did you even forget what they published about me when I was sixteen years old?"

"Of course not! How could I forget? I have it framed in my study room," she laughed. "The first child of the Richardsons going on her first date with some mysterious and handsome guy. Gosh, I love that title!"

"It was not a date! It was me getting to know the guy and showing him around the city whose parents are good friends with mine," I explained. "I still can't believe that stupid magazine told the whole country I was going to get married to that guy because of that little hangout! Poor Steve!"

I was so embarrassed that I stayed home for two weeks, avoiding any press or going through social media. I even had to apologize to Steve, and he -the sweet and kind guy he was, laughed it off as if nothing happened and thanked me for the time we spent together.

"Do you still remember his name?" she asked, surprised.

"Of course I do! He and his parents came to the funeral, and we still talk from time to time."

"Uhhh, that's juicy! You didn't tell me that."

"Because I know you. You'll want me to be interested in that guy or any other guy, go out with him, and date, which I'm still not ready. And I don't think I'll ever be ready to be with someone and replace Jared." Just thinking it brought tears to my eyes, but I held them back, not wanting my voice to betray me. "I need more time for myself."

"And we're all giving you that time you need. But time, as you once said, is precious. So, don't waste it by missing every opportunity that life presents you just because you're still scared of what might happen next. Cause I know you do, and that's why I'm always here."

"I know, and I appreciate that," I smiled and walked to the big window.

"What time are you going for groceries? 1130, right? Want me to tag along?"

"What about work?" I asked while fidgeting with my most precious silver chain hung around my neck.

"I have a 30-minute break, so it's perfectly cool."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" she said. "Besides, I want to see you. It's been forever since I saw you."

"You saw me yesterday, Shan," I chuckled. Shan fake called in sick to work yesterday and came here instead to make me company. It was fun having her, but I had tons of work that Dave told me to do, so she just stayed in my room reading wedding magazines.

"I bet you already miss me," she giggled. "Bye. See you later, soldier. I love you."

"Bye. Love you."

I stared at my phone, unsure of why I was still looking at it, and I snapped out of it the moment I heard his voice call my name. I immediately hid the silver chain under my grey turtleneck and turned around. He was standing at my door, hands in his pants pockets.

"We're about to leave," he informed. "Is everything okay?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes, I'm okay. I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"Tired of me?" he joked.

"Maybe. Who knows?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Hmm... Maybe it's time for me to quit."

He chuckled and walked towards me as I placed my hands behind my back. "Didn't you have a good sleep?"

"I did." This time I wasn't lying. "It is nothing, don't worry."

He half-shut his dark brown eyes, not convinced at all but decided to let it go. "Okay, just so you know, I'll be here anytime you need me, okay?" I heard Michelle yelling his name to hurry up. "I'm coming, just wait!" he yelled and looked back at me. "Breakfast was delicious, by the way."

"I'm glad that at least one of you enjoyed it."

"She could be annoying sometimes, but I promise she's a nice girl."

I raised my hands. "No judging... Okay, maybe a little," I confessed, and he chuckled. There's something about his smile and the way I enjoyed his company that I liked so much. "Next time, a little heads-up would be helpful if your girlfriend comes over."

"Noted," he said apologetically. "But Michelle is not my girlfriend."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What? But I saw you two-"

"It's complicated."

Asking him more about it was like invading his privacy and crossing a line between employee-boss. Did I want to know more? Yes, but instead, I just said, "Go, or you will be late."

"If I'm late, I'm late. I honestly don't care." We locked eyes for a moment without saying anything until we heard Michelle yell his name again. "Okay, I should go now. Don't get too tired of me."

"Too late," I shrugged my shoulders, and he pouted sadly. "Have a nice day!"

***

It was almost time to meet Shan when I noticed a pink post-it on the microwave.

'Thank you for breakfast. Again. And as much as I want to eat the other one, I left it for you so, enjoy!'

A tiny smile appeared on my face as I texted him.

'Thank you for the sandwich. You didn't have to. You could've taken it with you to eat at work.'

'I wanted to. I'm not coming to have lunch and dinner today btw. The busy guy will be working until 0900 pm, so make sure the door is locked before you leave.'

'Okay. Have a nice weekend.'

'See you on Monday. And get some rest. You need the energy to get tired of me again :).'

'Don't worry, I cleared any tiring activity, like watching tv, to sleep all day.'

I put my phone in my jean pocket and grabbed my bag before locking the door. Shannon was waiting downstairs, so I hurried up towards the elevator and pressed the lobby button. She was sitting on the couch, reading a Brides magazine and wearing incredibly good with a gray skirt with nude tights, knee black boots and, a long-sleeve white blouse.

"I know I'm late, and I'm sorry." I was 7 minutes late. "Aren't you cold just wearing that?"

She glanced up at me. "In this crowded room? I don't think so. I even took off my coat from this heat. Why are all these people here?"

"I don't know," I shrugged my shoulders, looking at the people and then at her. "Ready?"

"Yes." She put her magazines in her bag and got up. "What took you so long?" Her blue eyes were fixed on me while she was putting on her scarf around her neck.

"Sorry. Dave just texted me that he was going to stay late at work," I explained while walking out of the building.

"You said it like you two are living together," she winked at me and intertwined my arm with hers.

"And we are."

She rolled her eyes. "I mean like a-"

"Ugh! Don't say that word."

She mouthed it instead with no sound coming out of her mouth. "I'm just messing with you. Oh, come on! Don't be upset. From now on, I won't say the forbidden words," she promised, though I didn't think she meant it.

"Words?"

"Since you already know Charlie, I'm going to give you a clue." Her face was inches from mine, and into my ear, she whispered, "Juliett and Lima."

"Juliett is not even a forbidden word. I permit you to say it. And what does L stand for?"

"The one thing you won't let yourself have it."

"Really? Love?"

"I knew you were smart," she winked at me. "And you know I'm right. Ever since that day, you get too emotional that you don't even let it in because you're still terrified that it would easily slip out of your hands. Like I said on the phone: time is precious."

I was not ready yet, but what if I won't ever be? What if I was going to be alone for the rest of my life? Most of the people I cared about and loved were gone. It was like my life's destined to be like this, and every time something good happens in my life, it seems like they slip through my fingers like sand and into the sand mountain of everything I lost.

"But let me tell you something," she continued as we stopped at a pedestrian. "You don't have to be. Don't let your fear and pain consume what you really deserve. And that is happiness and love."

"I am happy," I told her. "I'm happy with what I have right now."

"If you were happy, you would let love in, instead of putting it aside like trash, like it was its fault what happened to you."

I looked away from her gaze, then down, as we crossed the pedestrian. Nobody would understand my pain. How would they know if they didn't go through what I went through?

"Would you let love in if your heart has broken into pieces? If Vince, the person you loved the most in your whole life, has died in front of you, would you still let love in?" I asked her.

She looked at me, perplexed for a moment, then a mischievous smile appeared on her face. "Maybe I will, but just for fun, if you know what I mean," she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"Agh! It's impossible to talk to you if you're not being serious!"

"Oh, come on! Serious is no fun. And, that's your problem because you take things so seriously that you don't even let yourself have a moment of fun. That's the medicine you need. Fun, happiness, and love," she added.

"It's true what they say, then."

"About what?"

"That you're annoying as fuck," I grinned.

"I know," she said proudly. "And just because you're going through hell doesn't mean I'm not going to annoy you. I'm always going to annoy you and never leave you," she paused, "If you're going through hell, so am I."

I smiled at her and put my arm around her shoulders as we enter the supermarket. We talked about her wedding and birthday plans for next weekend. My best friend was getting old, and I had to make sure to buy her a wonderful gift to make up for the birthdays I missed these four years. She insisted on helping me carry the bags to the condo, and I couldn't say no because I bought way too many groceries that the plastic bags were starting to break. I blamed myself for hurrying myself up and not bringing the shopping cart.

"See you next weekend." She was having dinner with her family's fiancée tonight in New York, so I bid my goodbyes to her with a hug.

"Text me when you get there."

"Always," she said and kissed me on the cheek before closing the door.

After organizing the food storage, I decided to take a quick shower. I couldn't help but think about what Shan said before. Will I give love another chance? Maybe, but not right now. I wanted to focus on myself first. To focus on me before giving my whole self to somebody else. I had many scars to heal, and the biggest one was my heart, so maybe it will take a few more weeks to heal, or even months before I was ready.

As I put on my clothes, I received a text from Shan telling me she's on the plane. As stubborn as she was with me, she was right. And that's what upset me the most. Was I blaming love for what happened to me? Maybe.

I thought of things I could do to forgive love and let it back in my life as I walked back to the kitchen. Should I download a dating app that most people do nowadays? I shook the idea out of my head and turned on the television. Shannon will kill me if I do that.

Once I finished cooking for dinner, I realized I made too much for myself. Dave was coming home later than 0900 pm, so it's more likely that he will have dinner out. I let it cool down before putting it inside a Tupper and into the fridge. And with a pink post-it stick on the door's fridge, I wrote:

'I made you spaghetti carbonara. Enjoy! See you on Monday.'

***

It was strange seeing my home empty. It was just the furniture, me and my pain walking around and checking the empty rooms. How long was it going to take for this pain to go away? How long was it going to take for me to start feeling like myself again?

I needed to schedule a meeting with my psychologist. I reached for my phone in my pocket and..., Damn it! I left it at Dave's. I rolled my eyes, frustrated, not wanting to get out outside again, but I knew Judy would call me anytime soon, so I put my coat back and locked the door behind me.

Thanks to Gary, I got there in less than 10 minutes. I ran to my bedroom and grabbed my phone on my nightstand. I had three missed calls from Judy, one text from Shannon and Dave.

I was ready to leave when I heard someone laughing. I reached for my gun on my back, but then I overheard a girl talking. It was Michelle, and she was not alone. I did not know where the sounds were coming from, so I silently walked into the other end of the hallway. The only lights that were on were in Dave's bedroom. Didn't he tell me he would be home late? I checked the time on my wristwatch. 9:05 pm. What the fuck? Did he lie to me? Then, I remembered the text he sent me earlier.

'Allys, I'm still at work. Sorry if I couldn't join you for dinner. I wanted to ask you some things about work-related. If there's something that bothers you, please tell me. So we can discuss it on Monday. Have a nice weekend, and get some rest ;).'

If he was still at the hotel, who was with Michelle?

"Oh, come on, Leo! He's not going to find out. Besides, he told me he's working late today," I heard Michelle say through the door.

How did she manage to get in here? I was sure Dave gave her a spare key. I put my ear against the door and try to hear their conversation.

"Are you sure?" asked the guy. "What about the young lady?"

"The housekeeper?" she laughed, and I rolled my eyes, trying to contain my anger from bursting the door open. "Don't worry. Dave told me she doesn't stay over on weekends. Now, kiss me and fuck me."

I heard them kissing and moaning, and that was my cue to get the hell out of here. I closed the door quietly, ran towards the elevator, and took a deep breath once I was inside. My heart was pounding fast, and I rested my head on the mirror with my eyes closed.

What the hell just happened?

XOXO