Think of what you're saying
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright
Think of what I'm saying
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night
-The Beatles, "We Can Work It Out"

***

Dan

"...I was never dating Cat.

I was "dating" Cat, but I wasn't dating Cat. Does that make sense?

For the past six months, I've felt nothing but platonic feelings towards her. All the things we did; all the things that "dating" couples do; they all made me feel uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong; she didn't force me to do them. She always asked me if I was sure I wanted to do whatever we were doing multiple times. But I always lied. I was scared she'd get mad at me if I said I didn't want to. But now I'm scared she'll get mad that I said yes when I really didn't want to...you know.

I always knew I never had real romantic feelings for Cat. Come to think of it, I've really never felt anything toward any girl I've dated. I've just never said anything because I didn't want to break their heart.
I've been thinking about this for a while, but it really hit me now because yesterday made me think. After Phil left, I just sat in my room and thought. And I came to the conclusion..."

"Dan!"

"I'm coming, mum!" I closed my journal and shoved it in the middle drawer.

"What do you need?" I sat down on the sofa next to Emily.

"My business had a talk with me, and I'm going to be going on a business trip."

"Where to?"

"We don't know where specifically yet, but we do know that it will be in America."

Emily sniffled. "I'm gonna miss you mum."

"Yeah, so will I," I said, looking at the ground. I know that Cat would say that I was being ridiculous, but I really love my mum.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay." She stood up and ruffled Emily's hair. "I won't be gone for long. It'll only be about two months."

"Two months!?"

She sighed. "I'm sorry. But the company and I have already agreed."

"When are you leaving?"

"Next week. I'll let you know when I know more about where I'm going."

"I'll miss you, mummy," said Emily, running over to her and giving her a hug.

"I'll be back before you know it sweetie."

***

I went back into my room and locked the door. I pulled out my journal, took the cap off my pen, and took a deep breath before finishing my sentence.

"...I think I might be gay."

A/N-AHHH IM SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO PUT IN HERE BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED HERE IS SUPER IMPORTANT LATER ON AND I DIDNT WANT ANYTHING IRRELEVANT GETTING THROWN IN THERE AND YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IF ANYWAY