Chapter Seventeen

I sit on the edge of the bathtub, my feet dipped into the unusually colored water.
With one hand I hold onto the bathtub itself, in the other I have his letter enclosed. The ink is slowly fading and smearing all over the white, before its absorbed by the light red from the water.

Yeollie scream from the other side of the bathroom door, hyejin I have to pee please hurry.

I nod even though he can't see it, I will Yeollie, I call, five more minutes.

Five more minutes. 300 seconds. Though it felt like much more time in that my eyes were drawn into the my colour that was shining beautifully in contrast to the white of the bathtub.

More of it is dripping down my arm, dropping down onto the small carpet.

I clean up all the mess, roll up the carpet that had absorbed a lot of blood and open the door of the bathroom.

You're doing the laundry?, my mother asks as she spots me from the opposite room, what has gotten into you?

I shake my head, walking towards the laundry room and whisper, benzodiazepines, but only I am able to hear it.

Later, I lay in my bed. I hear a cry from Yeollie's room but that night he doesn't come into my room.

Just a few more days, Jungkook, I whisper with tears, looking at the packaging in my nightstand before I hide it in in a drawer, just a few more days.

///
dear hyejin

I'm about to say something that I have feared to say so many times, but I think it would sound so much more beautiful when heard with your own ears, words from my very own lips.

I love not only your color.

I love you.

yours truly,

j.j.k
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