We sat in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable silence, but it was heavy and contemplative. I felt a strange pang of unease; not because of the story she had shared, but because of the profound realization she had come to about the whole thing. About Lily. Guilt. Attraction. The way that perhaps these things manifested in ways that were beyond our control or comprehension.

She had made some damn good points, but that wasn't the reason for the silence. For the first time since we had met, I realized I had never looked too far below the surface. Just enough to let her in. Narcissistic, but well-meaning.

I guess this was the first time that I actually saw her. Though I felt attraction and even love for her, I don't think I had seen past her beauty, looked beyond the hints of sweetness in her heart.

She was more than just a sweet southern girl; an adoring fan that I felt drawn to, felt I was falling for. She was as haunted as I was. Perhaps, even more so.

Like me, she was flawed and I had to have seen that initially. I'm not a blind man. I knew her past, how troubled it was. We had spent hours discussing it.

It wasn't until those quiet moments shared, not looking at each other, that I realized the selfishness of it all. I felt sick with it. My hand began to tremble as I thumbed through my notebook again. Something she had said piqued my interest. I had written something about demons, sex demons in particular, needing a way into your life. Not an invitation, like Stoker's vampires, just a crevice, a crack in the veil. I wasn't sure if this was the actual case with Lily, but it seemed likely. It made more sense than anything else.

I patted her knee and turned to her. I pointed in the notebook. She didn't seem interested. Her eyes were closed, her head slumped forward. I shook her shoulder, lightly. She made a mumbling noise and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Byron. It's just- too much. Ya know, when I'm with you, everything feels normal. Good. Like, really fuckin' good. But now that I know she's still around- screwing with both of us- it just feels- "

"Don't say that. We can't let her keep doing this. Even if it wasn't for my sake, for yours. I need to show you something. Please, just look. Then, if you want to leave- fine. I won't stop you. Just read these few pages. Possible ways to stop her. At the very least, maybe keep her in check until we figure something better out. Scared? We'd be stupid not to be. Angry? You have every right. Anyone would. Just read my notes, then we can talk. Or you can leave. Lady's choice."

I passed her the notebook. She opened her eyes, pulling her legs up and resting it on her knees. There were tears in her eyes as she turned the page. They were angry tears, her breathing and the movement of her lips as she read indicated that much.

Good, I thought. She needed that anger. Lily was strong and smart. She was also bitter and jealous. We'd have to be careful. I knew that if we could channel Tina's resentment and heartache, it could be the catalyst for her to fight back. Take control of her life again. It pained me to manipulate her like that, but I'd be damned if we weren't going to try. If there was one thing that I was good at, it was channeling dark and twisted emotions to reach a goal. I had done it most of my life. In my writing and my personal life. Demons could be beaten, metaphorical and otherwise.

I stood and lit another cigarette. I pulled the blinds up and watched the breeze rustle the weeds and grass outside. The movements were seductive, beckoning. The pond still worried me. Could it be part of it? Part of the puzzle? Could I use it against Lily in some way? Questions rattled in my worried brain. The cigarette tasted stale. I took a deep breath and remembered swallowing the pond water. I choked, gagging as I exhaled.

A piercing sliver of ice skittered up my spine. Everything reminded me of Lily. I didn't want her, but it didn't matter. Thoughts of her unfurled behind my eyes, naked and tempting. I needed to focus, this needed to end. I fucking hated it and yet, I missed her touch. I thought of her pale body sprawled underneath me, her hips moving against mine. Her claws were deep in my mind, scrawling with burning clarity that singular word again : MINE.

I wished I had never went down to the water, never invited her in. It was harder to tear my mind away from the drunken moments than I dared admit. To myself or Tina. Lily knew this, too. I focused on the sound of Tina standing up and walking towards me. Tina's hand touched my shoulder. I shuddered at the thought that it wouldn't be her face when I turned around. Whether from excitement or fear, I couldn't tell. I wasn't a praying man and never had been. If it wasn't Tina's face when I turned around, tonight would be a perfect time to start.

"Okay, I can tell you've put some thought into this. More than I'd given you credit. I need some time. Can ya give me that? Just in case- well- in case it doesn't work out. If she can't be stopped. Maybe I'll go home and just soak a bit. My nerves are fucking shot," she said.

She sounded exhausted and I thanked every deity's name I could think of. It was Tina's soft, southern drawl and not the breathy tone of Lily in my ear. I never turned around, though. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I was afraid that she'd see the worry in my eyes or maybe the guilt from Lily's stranglehold on my senses. Neither one of these things would make things better, even if it was honest.

"Like I said before. Lady's choice. I'll respect that. Just do me a favor, okay? Be careful driving home. I'd rather you stay, though. If you decide that you don't want to help me, I'll understand. I can do it alone. Just help me gather some supplies for the ritual, maybe a totem or two. Something significant to you. A weapon of sorts, to use against her. At least do that. Then walk away and don't look back. I'm not being cynical. Just realistic."

Her arms wrapped around me from behind. Her face buried into the back of my neck. Her lips trembled in a subdued sob against me.

"Yeah. Okay. Thank you, no matter how this turns out."

She squeezed me a final time and I rested my hand on her arm for a moment. I lowered my head and turned to look at her. From the corner of my eye, she seemed more beautiful than even Megan to me. No guilt came with that thought. I closed my eyes and thought of her. Somewhere, in a dim and broken part of me, I could feel her long-lost and sleepy-eyed smile.

"No matter what happens. I love you," I said. I didn't want her to leave. We were probably safer together. I debated saying these things aloud, but I was afraid it would diminish the simplicity and honesty of those three words, meant for the two women in my life.

As I listened to the engine of her vehicle fade from the driveway, I questioned if I was truly alone. I feared Lily may have heard those words, and mistaken herself for one of them.