I had made love to Lily numerous times, but this time was different and not just in the violent way she clawed at me. I had grown quite accustomed to her sharp nails raking my flesh as I pressed into her, working the best that I could with my lame legs only cooperating on occasion. I began using her shoulders for leverage, pressing her face to the side with my own as I grabbed the headboard for even more stability. Each time her face went from view, it would return just as quickly. I sensed fear in her during those moments. She dragged her left hand down my back, her other reaching down to help guide me. Her nails would occasionally scratch at my upper thigh. She seemed to be testing me, seeing if I could feel anything in my numbed limbs. Each time, I would feel some sensation and nod as I continued to thrust upward with fevered intensity.

The third time, she held my face in her hand, straining under my weight to kiss me. The sudden movement startled me and threw my rhythm off. I pulled her up to me, her legs wrapping about my waist out of instinct. My legs were on fire. I arched my back as we embraced, placing all my weight on them. This brought on a new sensation and her arms wrapped tight about my shoulders and neck. I groaned as her hips and thighs coaxed me, goosebumps raising on my flesh as she screamed out. She buried herself into my neck, her teeth sharp and nibbling the flesh. I would have returned the favor had I not been overwhelmed and holding back a scream myself. She gnawed at me and the warm trickles of blood from my throat painted her lips as she smiled at me. She was frantic now, gasping and moving against me. In between the throaty noises and my hurried breathing, she whispered in my right ear.

"I needed this," she said, wiping the blood from her lips with her fingers and playing with it. She ran her tongue along her upper lip. "Mine. Now, stand for me."

I almost pulled away. Whether it was to try and walk or purely out of disbelief I couldn't tell. She held fast against me, her legs tight about my waist as she pressed her bony finger against my throat, teasing the fresh cut there. Her eyes were not deep brown or black now, but they seemed silver in the shadows of the bedroom. Small streams of light invaded from the blinds, masking her features as she rocked against me. They had become two overly large and silver orbs gleaming in the dark as her movements gained speed.

Her eyes were not the only change in that moment. If it had only been the eyes I would have dismissed it as a drunken writer's mind misbehaving again. In the next moment I felt her arms wrapping tighter about my waist and back, forcing my legs to lift up against her off the bed. They lifted, aching from the prolonged lack of movement before falling back against the soft cushion of the bed. My lower abdomen seemed engulfed in warmth and sharp pangs of nervous tension ebbed down my thighs and calves. The warm sensation collided with sticky wetness as she arched herself at an impossible angle and laughed between cries of pleasure. Her hair flew as her head thrashed to the left and right, before pulling herself back into view.

Her face nearly collided with mine and the devilish smile had returned. Her breath was hot against my cheek as she continued bucking against me, guttural noises of my own beginning to match hers. I positioned myself more easily this time, my arms wrapping under hers and resting, hands clasped from behind, around her throat. I could feel the veins in her neck straining. I looked into her eyes again, the silver still visible under her heavy lids. Her pupils were dilating again, the black color reappearing into view as she opened them fully.

Her face was very pale beneath her light make-up and in the dark it seemed impossibly more so. She pursed her pink lips as she went in for a kiss again. Before I could even question it, her tongue was probing my dry mouth. It felt thick and foreign this time, like it was searching for something. I was repulsed and turned on at the same time as I tried to pull away. I pressed against her breasts with all my weight as she continued to move up and down. She pulled away abruptly. Her eyes met mine with defiance and as her nails dug into my skin of my back and neck, I began to think perhaps this time she would peel the bulk of my flesh from my spine if I tried to stop her. I firmly believed that she just might. I could feel the pressure building between us and inside her in spite of my growing fear of that.

Her face changed as I tried to raise up again, the legs cramped but finding more strength as I held her close. rocking inside her as she wailed. Her pursed lips opened as her head spun to the side and she bit down on my neck. I started to scream but she silenced that easily with one hand clasped to my mouth. She withdrew from my throat and smiled again. The skin surrounding her mouth seemed different. It seemed loose and translucent, with tiny blood vessels scattered and thin underneath. Her nose had become flattened somewhat and her eyes were sunken in more, her eyelids closed. I could hear my own heart thudding in my ears now, and feel her heart beating in tune with mine.

I could feel her heart beating just beneath the skin of her face as well. I was lost in a moment of repulsive arousal. I almost swore that I could see it throbbing in unison, stretching thin like warmed taffy as I drove further into her and tried to stand again. She seemed lost in a moment of her own, caught in an unnatural state that I couldn't understand. My mind raced with nightmarish possibilities but I chased them away in defiance and slid one numbed leg from underneath me, kicking the sheets partially to the floor. I placed one foot down from the bed. I felt the cold hardwood floor underneath and for the first time, I knew that I would walk again.

Lily's eyes never opened, but her breathing had become more hurried and ragged. The wheezing sobs spurred me further, but they scared me as well. Every so often, she grunted approval and moaned as her lower body quaked against me in uncontrolled spasms. I could see the oily sheen of sweat on her skin, the drops forming at her bouncing breasts and falling down the curves and down her belly. I noted that her stomach seemed swollen and more rounded than I had remembered earlier. It could have been how we were positioned on the edge of the bed. Her legs were locked about me although her arms had become limp, hanging to either side.

I leaned to the right, my left leg muscle spiking from prolonged atrophy and forced it from under me. I clenched my teeth as I locked my hands beneath her lifeless arms. My left foot pressed into the floor in triumph as I stood. Her eyes fluttered open and she laughed. It was a soft and reassuring tone. Her hair seemed thinner than before, her scalp more visible for a moment. Her hips and thighs were slick with sweat. My own body was sticky, as well. Blood and sweat and her perfume permeated every pore.

Her face was paler now, like a mask of sorts. It reminded me of a spider's webbing, especially around the eyes and lips. The moonlight from outside would catch it occasionally as her lower body slowed. When it did, there were moments it reminded me of sugar being spun into cotton candy. Then she would move again and Lily would be there, pristine and beautiful as before. The last gleam of silver left her eyes as I took two steps forward. She reached behind my neck, her hips continuing their slow and deliberate motions. I turned around and fell forward unto the bed, dropping her to the bed with a playful bounce.

She lay there laughing, rubbing her stomach and reaching up towards me. I crawled into bed with her, her fingers tracing the bloodied wounds and rubbing my legs as if she were admiring her handiwork. Perhaps she was.

"Mine," she cooed. "Show me you are. Let me taste you. Feed me."

I heard the words, though her lips never moved. My knees trembled as I descended into her open arms again. She raised her hips slightly to accompany me. Her flesh spoke to me. My mind answered.

Beauty is only skin-deep, people say. I would find out soon enough, that what feels like Heaven can look like Hell.