Lily's overpowering fragrance did not bother Tina for the rest of the week. Even though she had not made any appearances during that time, there were plenty of moments where I was sure she was there. Tina herself had begun to act a bit withdrawn. She was less amorous and constantly on the verge of falling asleep. The hours at the coffee shop had begun to pick up and they had a new cook. The previous one had said that there was a death in the family and decided to fly out to some town in Florida.

Around 4 AM on Sunday, I woke to the sound of her coughing in bed next to me. She apologized under her breath, but that only caused her chest to strain and she coughed even more. I turned to face her, one eye buried in the pillow and one eye groggily making out her body as she sat up.

"It's okay, babe. Probably should be getting up soon, anyway. Conference call with Mort and proofreading. It's your first day off in weeks," I said, between yawns. "Why don't you just lay back down? I'll bring you some water after I hit the bathroom."

I kicked my feet from under the covers, the pins and needles of the cold hardwood floor forcing me to grit my teeth. I pulled myself up, using my knees for stability as I stood.

"I'm not overworked or sick, Byron. It's that fucking smell again. It's like it's in my nostrils, grabbin' at my lungs from the inside," she said. Her voice was trembling and her breath came in short spasms. Her wheezing continued for a few more seconds. She propped her pillow behind her head and sat up. Her eyes were watery with swollen, dark circles peeking from under half-closed eyelids. "Why now? It was gone for awhile then came back. Do we have some kind of mold in this room or a leak of some sort?"

I walked towards the bathroom, pretending I didn't know the answer or at least some part of it. I stood there a few minutes and shivered each time she coughed. I winced at the idea that Lily may be responsible for her sudden coughing fit. It made me uneasy to think that she could have some effect on Tina and the memory of Tina and Lily's shower flooded my vision.

Of course she can have an effect her. The other night was proof of that, if nothing else.

The coughing started to subside again. I lit up a cigarette from the dresser and walked  to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and turned on the faucet. Opening the freezer, I dropped a few ice cubes in the glass. I was making my way around the corner, but Tina was already there. She grabbed the glass from my hand. The motion was so quick, water splashed as she drank. She closed her eyes and breathed in. The whine in her chest had lessened. There were tears in her eyes as she raised the glass to her lips again.

"I'm sorry you're not feeling well, babe. It's your day off. I can run into town to grab a few things. You probably need your rest." I kissed her forehead as I spoke. It was meant to be reassuring. Her reaction was a slow sob. Her shoulders shook as she wiped her eyes.

"I know this smell, Byron. I've smelled it before. Right before-"

Her voice cracked and then faded. She began to cough again. After taking another sip, I grabbed the glass from her hand and placed it on the kitchen table. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks wet as she sat down on the loveseat. She sat slumped for a moment, resting her head in her hands. She wiped at her face and stared out the window. The rain was starting again. It seemed it had rained the whole week, though there were moments of clear skies just as often. Watching her, I began to ponder the similarities of her tears and our recent turbulent weather. One of them I didn't mind. The other filled me with a saddened jab of guilt and regret.

"What do you mean?"

"John- my ex- yeah, he was an asshole. I would never dispute that. I have plenty of tender places on my arms and face as evidence. Not to mention, moments of anxiety that come outta nowhere. He even tried pushing me down the stairs at a hotel once. A drunk and grade A asshole, for sure. He wasn't always, though. We had been dating for nearly two years before all that shit. Good moments. He started drinking more and then disappearing all hours of the night."

"Another woman?" I asked.

My hand started to tremble. I fidgeted with another cigarette to mask my uneasiness. She continued to stare out the window. The clouds darkened outside and thunder bellowed in the near distance, as if answering for her. She laughed and nodded, her eyes meeting mine. She shrugged her shoulders. It was the motion of a confused child admitting defeat.

"Well, I could never prove it. I searched for evidence of it, other than his irritability and change of character. Never found any proof. One night, I put on my bravest face and packed my things. It saddened me that I barely needed more than one damn suitcase to do so. My life whittled down to the barest of essentials and without John- not that much left of me, really. A bunch of clothes and a couple of paperbacks and hardcovers, a few of them yours. A toothbrush, hairdryer and makeup case to round it all off."

"Yeah, I've moved a few times myself. The trip to this cabin was the least I have ever packed. Felt strangely empty doing so. How did he take it? Not well, I'd guess."

"Understatement. He punched me square in the jaw. I plopped down on the edge of the bed instantly. I could smell the drink on him. He grabbed my face, kneeling down and seething as he forced me further unto the bed. His knee pressed into my upper thigh, parting my legs. His breath stunk and his eyes were blank and wild. There was nothing there but anger. Hatred. How dare you even think of leaving me?  It's all your damn fault anyway, you fucking cunt! She was right about you, right about everything-those stupid cow eyes of yours-oh I'm scared please don't hurt me- What about what I want, huh? What about what I need?  He raised his hand to slap my face, I could see the muscles in his arm as he reached back. Then- he paused. I struggled but his hand grabbed my throat instead and his other hand fumbled clumsily at my dress, raising it over my hips. His fingers dug into my shoulders. He forced himself inside of me. I tried to stop him-"

I sat next to her and draped my right arm around her. Her body was shaking and her breath were becoming short gasps. She sobbed for a few minutes, her lips quivering as another coughing spell began. I tried my best to reassure her. She rested her head on my shoulder and I leaned back, pulling her with me.

"It's okay. He's gone. He can't hurt you." I turned her face to mine, kissed her quivering lower lip. Her body tensed and the tears became ones of resentment.

"No. I know that. These things- they stay with you. It happens. It was the first time he had ever- forced  himself on me. It wouldn't be the last, either. It wasn't often, but fuck it. It didn't have to be. Once is all it takes. Victims have a tendency to accept the awful shit that happens to them, just like I did. Ya see, though? He said 'she was right'. Who? Who the fuck was he talking about? How long had he been seeing her? I know that none of these damn things matter. I survived! Isn't that good enough? Yes! Yes, it should be. It is, it really is. It was like he was a different person. Because of him, I had to become a different person. Should I be grateful? I'm not. Who would be? I resent all of it. Fuck him. What he did to me- hell, what he did to you, Byron."

"You survived. That's better than most victims ever get to say. Believe me, I understand. I've had dreams where I confront him myself, for what he did to me and Megan. I had one where I literally dug him up just to fuck the son of a bitch up some more. It almost made me feel better, fucked up as that sounds."

"Yeah," she said. She stood up and took the glass of water from the table. She swallowed hard and finished it. She was visibly shaken but the crying seemed to have eased some. "Thank you. Thanks for listenin' to me. I just had this moment. Laying there in bed and it all of a sudden hit me. I know this sounds ridiculous but it's that smell. That's what caused it, I think. It reminded me of John for some reason. I swear, he used to smell just like that some nights. He'd crawl into bed and it would just suffocate me. I asked him about it once and he just laughed. Said some hurtful things about me being crazy and that I had better get used to it. I figured it must be some kinda awful home brew liquor or something. It made sense at the time. A lot of things did. Smelling it here, with you- I don't know. Doesn't it bother you?"

"More than you can imagine."

I sat there a few moments, in shock. The idea that Lily had been a part of Tina's life even before she had entered mine sat in my skull like a dead weight. A weight that needed to be lifted and dealt with. I watched as she rummaged through a drawer in the kitchen. Her back hunched in one jerking motion and she began to turn around.

"Funny. It never seemed to bother you before, lover."

Tina's stare was blank and wide. Her pupils began to dilate and then wither away into small specks until the whites of her eyes consumed them whole. The tears were still wet on her cheeks. Her lips were drawn into a grimace, followed by a crooked smile. Dark veins began to etch beneath the flesh of her face. They snaked down her neck and spiraled along her outstretched arm like vines. She raised her hand and pointed towards me. A large carving knife jutted from her white-knuckled grip.

Tendrils of her blonde hair drifted to the floor as her other hand clawed frantically at her scalp. A single bead of crimson appeared beneath her right nostril and began to drip down the crevice of her smile. She licked her lips and moaned. Her free hand continued pulling out a few more strands of her hair as she moved forward. The fingers tensed and clasped about her skull. Her eyes locked with mine and Tina's terrified face returned for a moment . It was the same moment her head slammed repeatedly into the adjoining wall.