Author's Note ~

Okay, quick author's note before I kick off here. This part is going to take place one month after the last part. Enjoy!

Here I am once again, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. I take a quick glance at my clock. Three in the morning. Insomnia sucks.

The same thoughts that occur most nights. The feeling to cut. The feeling to draw blood. The feeling to just end it all.

It would be so easy, I think to myself, I have a bottle of pills and great blades.

I get up and start walking towards my little bathroom. I take out my pills and blades. I set the toilet seat down and sit.

Slowly, I take the blades out of their box. I sit and have a staredown with the blades and pill bottle for a good hour. I then curl up into a ball and start crying.

I cry for Arlo, who may never get to walk me down the aisle. I cry for Ava, who has become my best friend and biggest support. I cry for Mr. Johnson, who is my only adult confidant and is the only one who sees my potential. I cry for my mother, who still stayed strong after my father died. Lastly, I cry for my father, who will never get to see me do anything. He would be so disappointed in what I've become.

This leads to me cutting up my left thigh. It's been just over a month since I've last cut. I forgot how good it felt. I've missed it.

Suddenly, I think how disappointed Arlo and Ava would be if they found out. When I spilled to Ava, I found out that she's struggled with a lot of the same things that I have. She's overcome many of her demons though, unlike me. She said that she would always be willing to help me, but I just feel like a bother to her.

I soon decide that tonight will not be the night of eternal darkness and put the pills away. Though Arlo and Ava would be upset with me for cutting, they would be proud that I ended up not trying to commit.

I'm hoping that Ava won't see right through me when I show up for art class the next morning. I'm worried because she's usually so good at noticing when I'm faking my smiles and laughter in class.

I guess I'll just have to try even harder to hide it this time..

Author's Note ~

Hey guys! Hopefully this chapter was a bit more satisfying than the last one, considering it was pretty boring. I've got a big long plan for the next few chapters so stay tuned, lovelies! Stay strong, and I love you! :)