A friend from school came up to me a couple weeks ago and said that if she doesn't stop getting bullied at school, she'll kill herself D: Damn it all, I say. To all of those who say things like, 'thousands of other people do, why can't I be one of them?' or any of that bullcrap, let me give you the answer.

1) Because other people are influenced by your actions

2) Because there are people who suffer depression or anxiety because they watch one another commit suicide - it's a complete damn cycle

3) There are people who care, whether you believe it or not.

4) Every single damn time I hear that someone tried to kill themselves, I get this terrible guilty/helpless feeling in my chest that doesn't go away for a while. And every single time I try to consult someone about it, they either say that I think too much or that I shouldn't worry about those who supposedly does not want to be saved. Well, I'm sorry to say, but I'm not going to stop worrying and there is no such thing as someone who doesn't want to be saved.

5) I don't care if I never met you. I don't care if your greatest sins cost you every single thing, because I care on you breathing. So deeply. I smile at everyone I pass at the store and ask how they are doing. Why? Because they are human. You are human. And no human deserves to watch the world from outer space. No one deserves to be ignored. I have never in the slightest told someone that they shouldn't be alive, unlike what so many people at my school do.

6) Life is a battle. That's all there is to it. Do you really want it to control you, to lead you to be the cause that you are not living?

My point is, my biggest fear is drowning. In water, in fire, in my own mind, it does not matter the source. But my fear is drowning. Why do I say this? Because I'm sure that's what many feel each day. Like they are drowning. Like there is no such thing as the sun, but a deep black hole. I myself feel like that every-so-often. It used to be so bad before, I almost ended up starving myself because I felt so numb. It wasn't until I nearly fainted did I realize I hadn't been eating a lot.

And then things took a swift turn. I got a great group of friends, one of them who I secretly have a crush on. Yah, I guess it's time to grow up . . . *blushes*

Everyone, if you just wait another day, another hour, you never know what will happen. It's not the end. There are people who recovers. Instead of thinking like,

'Other people do suicide every day - hundreds of them. Why can't I be one of them?'

Think of something like this,

'People who have attempted suicide recovered through their depressions - let me be one of those people.'

Please. There are so much things you/someone could be capable of. Whether you have the loudest burps or a deep passion for bugs, you have a roll.

I am not saying that I understand EVERYTHING you may be going through. But if you know me, I do poetry. Want to know a secret? I wake up in the middle of the night because there are these rhymes flowing across my mind, and I just HAVE to write them down. And they are never light and cheery. I don't know what they mean. I just write them down. 

And when I'm finished, I get this huge, sorrowful, helpless feeling, as if I just failed the entire world. Because the meanings of the poems absolutely terrifies me. I've only written a few to where I actually know what I'm doing. The rest are just cruel, harsh words that flows throughout my head. 

I just want you all to know that, to those who are suffering deeply, please do think before you take your actions. I know it's not a choice to feel that way, but you do have a choice in the actions you take. I'm not telling you simply to not be sad, because I know for a fact it's not a choice. Trying to control on what you feel inside is just as bad, in fact, I think worse, than trying to control the weather.

I'm saying that I care. I'm saying that you are human. I'm saying that this world is huge, and you've only been exposed to a tiny bit of it. 

I'm just tired of  getting that same old helpless/sorrowful/let-down feeling over and over again. To those of you who are my friends and have confessed to me, I do not mean you in this whole thing. I am not saying you are the reason I feel like that. I've been that way since I was really young. I have been told by billions of people that I worry about other people too much, but to be honest, why wouldn't I? The last I checked, we're all human. So why would we ignore those who are deep in the holes?

I wrote this passage because I don't think I can handle keeping it in any more. I know this is the internet and all, and that this may not be safe, but . . . oh well. Just be safe . . . 

Just hold out your thumb, and say to yourself, 

'I am thumb-body' 

(also, I am putting this up on both my accounts - this and LifeIs2Slow4Me don't go reporting me on plagiarism, please xD)