The Three's Company Meet 'N Greet Breakfast was mandatory. It said so in all-caps right next to the eight-thirty ungodly hour in the morning on the itinerary. I squinted at the schedule for the umpteenth time. Shoving the filigreed and flourished piece of cardstock aside, I gulped my mimosa—almost forgetting eight years of etiquette training—the tension eroding my manners.

"I did not sign up for this," Vic loudly reminded us.

Devon patted their back but met my gaze with a disgruntled glare of his own. "Neither did I."

"Each and every one of us chose to embark on this journey toward greater unity with our partners," the chirpy emcee made the counterpoint. Tall, buxom, and peroxide blonde, she held court from the middle of the cruise ship's formal dining room. "I'm your hostess, Jackie, and thanks to a very generous donation from our celebrity philanthropist, I'm pleased to announce Three's Company will reward your choice to be here by making three lucky polycules millionaires by the end of this trip! "

Cheers and applause went up. Surveying the tropical themed dining room—the beaming photos of flirty vacationers posing against lush garden backdrops—it all made sense now. I wanted to know how in the hell my parents had managed to accidentally book us on a polyamorous lovers' retreat.

"How exciting is that, huh? Now, look around." Jackie held a wireless mic as she meandered the room. (There was no missing the giant pyramid of fake millions in prize money on display behind her.) "Get to know the people sitting at your table because those are your teammates!"

Dev choked on his coffee. "Are they serious? Is she serious?"

"Oh my god." I turned to avoid the group to the left of Devon, Vic, and me.

To my right, name cards were tucked in the wire beaks of table decor flamingos for Josh, Ethan, and Amber, three attractive strangers. Amber gave a cheerful wave. "Glad to meet y'all," she enthused. Flawless olive skin and a beatnik style down to her bare feet set her apart, but she was friendly. I figured I would probably like her.

Nevertheless, Vic rose to leave until I grabbed their sleeve to stop them. "Whoa! Don't cause a scene," I whispered. "Look, we'll figure this out when we get back to the room, alright?"

"No! I'm not getting saddled with them this whole trip." Vic was adamant.

"The last thing we need is extra attention right now," I hissed.

Amber's grin stiffened. "Did we do something wrong?"

The guy seated to Devon's left chimed in, "Oh, no, sweetheart. You know, I've never said this before, but. . ." It was Shane, the asshole from last night. He ran a hand through his sand-colored twists with a gloating grin at the obvious discomfort he was causing. "It's not you. It's me," he admitted.

Flanked by West and Gabrielle, the trio made up the rest of our team. I suppressed a groan. Collaborating with a creep wasn't on my bucket list, either, but I didn't want any other passengers to notice that my friends and I weren't supposed to be onboard. A throuple we most decidedly were not.

Jackie, the emcee, circled our table with her million-dollar-prize-money smile again. "Of course, no one is required to participate, but winning is too easy. All you do to get on the leaderboard is join the scheduled bonding experiences with your partners and attend social blitzes like this one. It's as simple as that for your chance at a cool ten million dollars! Do you really want to pass this opportunity up?"

"Hell, no," Gabrielle said in an animated whisper. "Dude, that's more than enough for nine people. I'm sure we can put last night's misunderstanding behind us. Shane will be on his best behavior moving forward. Right, baby?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely," he agreed at a sharp elbow-jab from her.

Josh and Ethan shared skeptical smiles, and Amber's eyes bugged with concern. She laughed to cut the thickness at the table. "Wow, it's like reality TV, isn't it? Not sure what happened between you guys last night, but I hope we can all work together."

"Okay, we're small business owners. We really need that money," her partner Ethan admitted. Josh rounded out their corner, nodding in agreement, and the trio studied the rest of us.

"Awesome! Let's hear it for capitalism." Shane applauded. Gabrielle repeated the elbow-jab, although Shane guarded himself this time.

I ignored them and focused on my friends. I could all but see Devon's mental calculations. "Yeah," he said slowly. "Yeah, I don't want to railroad anyone, but I could use a windfall like that. . . I mean if we can work together."

"Fine, yeah. We can work together," Vic muttered.

"Thank you," Devon uttered quietly. Genuine appreciation warmed his voice.

Meanwhile, under the table, my fingers hovered over Vic's thigh. I had almost placed a reassuring hand on their leg before thinking it through. I balled my fists together in my lap. "Of course," I piped up. "You know I can be a team player." I didn't like Shane's ass any more than they did, but I could put up with him.

Devon, Vic, and I were hardly used to three friends, one bed. Now, suddenly, we were thrust into fake dating. The romance novel tropes were getting out of pocket. I half-listened as Jackie further explained what was expected of the teams.

Amber slid her itinerary to me. "What's your schedule like? Are they all the same?"

I shrugged. "Let's see everyone's itineraries. We need to strategize. . . Alright, everybody has synastry chart readings throughout the rest of today, but our bonding sessions differ. They're staggered at different times and only involve two participants, rather than the full. . . throuple. God, I hate that word."

"Try triad," Amber supplied with a grin.

The elegant itinerary cards boasted scannable calendars to upload to our phones and/or devices. Once I had scanned mine, I glanced at the Rules and Guidelines that popped onscreen. "We can only miss maybe two sessions.," I read the fine print. "Three or more and we all get disqualified."

"Maybe we should commit to not taking any breaks," Josh suggested.

"I don't like the sound of that. Anything can come up over the next two weeks. Besides, the rules state, 'Guests are encouraged to participate in the experiences that resonate because the prize—'"

"Is the friends we make along the way." West lifted his eyebrows as he gestured with the celery stalk from his empty glass.

"No. 'The real prize is Love.'" Amber read from the page in all seriousness. "I pray we win the money, but we can't let a ridiculous competition strain our relationships. Fortunately, aside from earning points the way our hostess described, it says here that Three's Company staff will be allowed to dole out bonuses for exemplary bonding behavior."

"Whatever that's supposed to mean," Vic scoffed with disinterest.

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Amber's right. Not about love being the real prize, but obviously we shouldn't let the competition stress us out. If we want to win that money, it will take cooperation. So, rather than making everyone commit to unrealistic expectations, let's just make a deal not to sabotage things for one another."

"All in favor say, 'Aye.'" Shane grinned.

"Aye," the table agreed.

"The ayes have it. We can trust each other." He spread his hands innocently. I studied him a beat longer, but I knew there was nothing to do but take his word for it.

Breakfast was served at last, and Jackie left us to our food. After the previous night's masterclass in self-denial not getting the sex I wanted, I dug into the morning's fresh fruit, crepes, honey-sweetened rolled oats, and savory protein. It was satisfying. Gradually, Vic unfurled and chatted with some of our teammates. Even Shane showed enough discipline to keep his mouth shut and stare at his phone for the rest of the meal.

"Zen Sunrise? Past Life Regression? Who set this up— Spiritualist TikTok?" Devon complained as the three of us left the dining room and headed to our synastry reading.

Vic wafted a hand through the air with maximum melodrama. "Hang on a second, I'm getting a-a psychic message. I think Spirit is trying to tell me this whole cruise is. . . bullshit! Oh my god, such a massive download."

"It won't be that bad." I swatted them. "I have a yoga class with Devon tonight. Tomorrow, you guys spend time in something called a sound bath. Then, you and I get to hang out the following day. That's what it takes to win this money, and I will manifest and high vibe with the best of them, okay?"

"And don't forget the crew needs to see us display 'exemplary bonding behavior' for extra points." Devon wrapped an arm around us. My cheeks flushed at where my thoughts disappeared off to in his embrace. Yet, a glance at Vic had the inevitable effect of snatching my imagination in a different direction.

Vic gave a chuckle and shook Dev off. "What is a synastry chart, anyway?"

Shrugging, I, too, wriggled out of Dev's arms. We had arrived at the room listed on our itineraries. "Something to do with astrology." I knocked and opened the door with hope that my companions and I made a convincing polycule. Our luck, we were star-crossed lovers.

"Come in, come in," a familiar voice called out. It was none other than Samentha. The gorgeous Black woman looked up with glasses perched on the tip of her nose. "Ah, you guys! Welcome to your reading. In today's session, I'll be telling you whether you are compatible or not. Have a seat and be brave, y'all. Let's jump right in."

I sat and crossed my legs, but my frozen smile cracked because, no, we could not pull this off. No way we seemed like a loving triad. Samentha had already told me to choose between Vic and Devon. She knew exactly what was up!

"Don't be nervous. Using key data from your separate dates of birth," she clacked away at her keyboard, glancing at our passports, "your synastry reveals. . ." She paused to stare at the computer. "Hmm. . . Well. . . there's nothing in this chart that can guarantee your relationship will last, but I'll print it out for you so you can see it for yourself."

"Is it that bad?" I squeaked.

Her gap-toothed grin was warm and expressive as she handed pages across the desk to each of us. I had no clue what the big circle and colorful lines meant, but the printouts on tropical stationary were lovely enough to keep as souvenirs. That is, if the three of us had been dating for real.

"Quite the contrary!" Samentha exclaimed breezily. "All those lines are aspects between the planets, which are represented by alchemical symbols. Without getting too technical, astrology is a language where aspects are the verbs that make the relationships between planets and houses make sense. Planets are like the vibes, and the houses are the areas of your life where those vibes play out."

"Make it make sense," Devon drawled.

"Here, Alexis's Libra Sun trines Vic's Venus in Aquarius. Now, your Sun sign is your ego's own personal vibe, while Venus is the vibration of your love style. Therefore, Lexie's manner of being is well-matched to Vic's way of loving. Understand? This particular synastry point often shows up in the charts of married couples."

"Ah, there you have it. Match made in heaven." He flashed a rueful smile, shaking his head at me.

Well, what the heck is up with that look? I wondered. He had taken himself out the game.

Samentha went on, "Oh, you're not off the hook, sir, but we'll come back to your synastry points because I want to highlight how Lexie's Venus in Scorpio is on fire with Vic's Pisces Mars! The trine aspect between these potent sexual signs tells me the sparks fly between the two of you, don't they?"

Vic's face glowed a shade of crimson, and my cheeks felt red hot. Samentha needed to get out of my heavenly business, respectfully. Devon shifted in his chair. Intrigued, jealous, or uncomfortable with the conversation? I cleared my throat and circled my fingers to speed the astrologer along.

"Incidentally, no wonder making decisions can be tough for you my little Libra stellium," Samentha chided me. "It's not that you can't make up your mind. You see all the sides of a situation, which is a trait you share with Devon. Your Libra Mercury trines his Gemini Moon, so y'all seem to effortlessly get each other. This is another aspect commonly found in the charts of people who are in long-term relationships.

"Finally, Devon, your Sagittarius Sun conjuncts Vic's Sagittarius Moon, and this could be the most potent connection of them. Not only does it speak to longevity, but it also indicates the two of you merge on a soul level. That's what I call a match made in heaven, boo."

Devon and Vic shared matching eye rolls of good-humored skepticism.

"Let me get this straight." I struggled to remain composed. "Not only am I meant to be with Vic, but I'm also meant to be with Devon, and the two of them are meant to be together, too?" Yeah, okay. At least I didn't have to worry about Samentha calling us on our fake dating charade. She was too busy running her own circus. If nothing else, it was entertaining.

Samentha tilted her head. "Well, isn't that what you wanted to hear? On a cruise like this, no less," she added cheekily. "I don't think I've ever seen such an intense phoenix connection. I wish I had time to go over more of this chart with you, but there are other patrons waiting to have theirs read. Best of luck. Ta-ta!" The woman shooed us out.

"Wait, wait, wait. That's it?" Devon dug in his heels.

"What more do you need to know?" Samentha removed her glasses to clean them.

"What about the rolling stone thing?" he asked.

"Or the bad luck for revisiting the past?" Vic crossed arms. "Come to think of it, everything you've said here is a complete contradiction of what you told us yesterday."

"Meh." Smiling, Samentha settled her glasses back on the tip of her nose. "I wouldn't worry too much with contradictions. Life is full of them, honey."

"No, but really. What about the warnings?" I pressed.

"Heed them," she said with a pointed look.

"But you just said we're soulmates."

"That's true."

I blinked. "So . . .?"

"So." She opened the door and gestured out.

For the first time since meeting her, she seemed almost serious. I bit my lips to keep from smiling. So, I had to choose between Devon and Vic, but the three of us were meant to be together. Ridiculous. Leaving the room, it took genuine effort to hold in the barrel-laugh that threatened to break free. We were meant to be together. My friends and I hurried down the hall, an occasional giggle escaping.

It was Devon with the statement that did us in,though: "And not a single sign that the three of us aren't remotely dating,"he pointed out. That was it. I laughed so hard I almost peed.