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Author's Note - 'Stab, Twist'.

One thing that I really, really love as a reader is something I call the 'stab twist'.  Twists are always fun and keep the story interesting - "Oh, you thought the story was almost over?  That it was just a straight shot to the happy ending?  Surprise, the bad guy just offered the morally dubious character money to betray everybody, and what a twist, he took it and stole the MacGuffin!  Didn't see that one coming, did you!  Now there's more to the story, where our heroes have to go after their once-companion to recapture the victory you thought they almost had."  Twists are unexpected bits of fun that keep the story interesting.

But there's a special kind of twist that goes beyond that.  This is a twist that not only changes how the story will go from that point, but changes everything in the story before that point, and does so in a way that hurts.  This is the 'No, I am your father" line, where suddenly the evil cyborg that had chased after Luke Skywalker and killed his friends, killed his adoptive families, and tried to kill him... is actually the father Luke had been looking for all his life - and what's more, some of the characters had known about it all along.  It's the revelation in Unbreakable that the wheelchair-bound mentor figure to Bruce Willis' character, the person who had been guiding him as he discovered he had superpowers and teaching him the ins and outs of being a superhero... is actually his nemesis, a supervillain in his own right, and that he had been manipulating everything from the very beginning.  Or that the main character in Sixth Sense was actually dead the entire time, changing every interaction in the movie before then.

And I like it even more when the twist is so heart wrenching that you just want to give everyone involved a hug.  The revelation in The Last Airbender that the mentor figure to Zuko, the wise General Iroh that was always there to help him, that was always so concerned with his own well being and happiness, and who was always playing that song... ... ...had failed and lost his own son, and that his guilt and sorrow over that was a major part of everything we had watched him do up to that point.  And that the lyrics to his song hurt.

It's the kind of twist that means you have to go back and rewatch the movie or reread the book, because even though you experienced one story, there was a second story going along right beneath your nose that you missed.  Jim Butcher, one of my favorite writers, is really good at this when he pulls one - his Dresden Files series has a few, and the book Ghost Story has a really good one.

I love those twists.  Twists that completely change everything you thought you knew about a character - their motivations, what they hope will happen and what they fear could happen and are desperate to avoid, the things that make them sad and cause them to suddenly go quiet.  Even the very reason they decided to help the main character in the first place.  Big surprises that you don't see coming at all, but which you find had little hints and foreshadowing about right in front of you all along.  The first time a reader experiences the story those things can seem explainable for other reasons... but after the twist, after you know what the character has really been through... then those little hints suddenly mean so much more.

Because I'm such a fan of them I'm always wondering how I can work one into my own stories, and Lost Change was no exception.  As I wrote through I kept thinking about the different characters, and what surprise revelations might change how a reader would come to view all of that character's interactions with Nate.  Minna was an obvious choice - as the main figure in his life, and because a huge focus of the story was around Nate coming to forgive Minna.  If Nate learned something surprising about Minna, it could have easily helped with that, and provided that 'everything you read before this point actually meant something different' twist that I love.

But nothing ever really jumped out at me that I could do with Minna for that.  And sometimes these twists work even better when the main character never actually discovers it, even if the audience does.  And as I was reading back through UWoC and ANB to make sure I kept everything straight in LC, I came across a comment that jumped out at me.  In ANB, Tasha warns Tessa to wait three months before talking to a handler.  That was a restriction that hadn't been present in UWoC - Tom and Serena had talked to Alec as soon as they worked up the courage to do so, and Keegan, the lucky jerk, had talked with Aeria from day one - but which Tasha explained had a very good reason behind it.  She said that if things didn't work out, and Tessa changed her mind, then it wouldn't hurt as much - specifically for whichever Kymari Tessa was considering, but by that point I had written out a lot of the conversations where Nate had learned that the companion bond worked both ways, and it was easy to imagine that the buffer period would probably spare Tessa a bit of pain, too.  Especially given how Tessa ended up experiencing a bit of that pain, when it seemed Soranto might not be willing to become a bond handler - when the other parts of his life, and his other hopes and dreams, were too great a concern to allow him to immediately fit a bond companion into his life.

And when I re-read that warning to Tessa, cautioning her about the pain something like that would cause, I couldn't help but wonder...  "How does Tasha know?  What happened between the two stories that caused them to worry about this?"

Stab.

Twist.

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One year earlier...

*~Ivy~*

The sound of someone backwinging and coming in for a landing shook me from my moping. I looked up as a red dragonet landed on the branch beside me. She settled on her back legs and caught her balance with her wings, then leaned over to bump her nose against my shoulder.

She was holding a bright orange berry in one hand.

"Ivy, this isn't good for you. How long have you been here?"

Normally the sunburst berry would have had my immediate attention. The orange berries were delicious, and it had always been a rare treat to get our hands on one. It meant getting very close to the Kymari buildings, digging through the strange bushes to find any that were ripe enough, and then flying away before being caught. A few months back one of the Kymari had moved some of the planters towards the edge of the forest, and they were a little more common now than they had been... but it was still a special occasion. We were lucky to get one or two ripe ones in a week.

But now... now the plump berry was just one more sad reminder. I had grown used to getting three or four every day. It was hard to get excited about one, even though I knew it meant a lot for Amanda to bring me it.

I just lowered my head and looked back out at the small meadow past the tree I was perched in... and at the Kymari buildings beyond it. Amanda was probably right... but... "I don't know. I came here a bit after the Morning Song. After breakfast."

"It's almost evening. The sun's getting ready to go down. Have you really been here all day?" Amanda carefully covered me with one of her wings and nudged at my side with her head. "Ivy..."

"I know." I pulled my wings in and made myself small against the scarlet dragonet.

"Is there anything we can do to help? I brought you a sunburst berry, if you'd like it?" She held out the berry to me, but I just shook my head. I knew how much we all liked those; I wouldn't feel right taking it from her. I wouldn't really enjoy it in the mood I was in, and it felt wrong to eat it when somebody else could enjoy it.

She sighed. "At least come stay with me tonight? Some company could do you good, instead of spending the night in your den alone." Amanda didn't say it, but the words 'the way you spent the day' were clear in her tone.

"I still smell. I don't want to put your children out." Which was just another reminder. The smell of the Kymari's oil was subtle around me, but still noticeable. I actually liked the smell, but some of the other dragonets had mentioned it. Amanda's fledglings among them.

"It's barely noticeable anymore. And it's not that bad. Besides, as often as Tasha and Tom and Serena come around, it's not like we aren't used to the smell. Charles won't mind at all, and one night won't kill the kids."

I sighed. I didn't really want to be around anyone... but I didn't really have another excuse. And Amanda was probably right. Some company might help me feel better. Or at least distract me from feeling so miserable.

"How's your wing? Is it still bothering you?"

"It's fine." I realized my tone was angrier than I meant after I spoke, and I sighed. "Sorry. It still hurts a little, but I can fly well enough. He managed to take care of that much, at least." I glanced back out towards the buildings.

But he hadn't wanted to do any more than that. He hadn't even really been that interested in dragonets in the first place, and it had been his first time even coming to our park when he came across me. He hadn't really had any plans to keep me. None of the training Tasha and the others spoke about. No attempts to stick me in a harness, or to search for sicora, or even just to come back to him. No real interest at all.

And once I was better, he had just... left. Took the cast off, got my wing back to the barest minimum I would need to fly with, and then went off to find some other world to live on. Some other life to live.

Without me.

"Let's go, then. A bath, then some dinner; you must be starving. You'll feel better after that." Amanda gave me another nudge and stepped away to give me room to spread my wings.

I sighed again. She was right, but... I really didn't want to.

I sat there for a few more seconds before reluctantly spreading my wings and launching off of the branch. It would at least be something to do.

I finished the Morning Song and settled in the branches of one of the trees. There was still a hollowness to the morning dance that stole some of the usual joy it brought me. The rest of the flock began to spread out through the forest, off to go about their daily lives, but... I wasn't ready to leave yet.

Like always, there was a decent sized crowd of Kymari gathered in the forest. They always came to watch our dance. It had been hard to tell them apart before, but... after having lived with them for two months I was able to notice things. Subtle differences in their hair, differences in height, angles of their nose, positions of their ears. Things I would otherwise have just overlooked, due to being so different from dragonet or human features.

I recognized one in particular. I think all of us recognized him at this point, actually. He had become a bit famous among the flock. He stood a bit away from the rest of the Kymari and watched the flock disperse for a few moments... then he lifted up a hand that was covered in a leather glove, one thick enough to protect against even our sharp claws. "Tasha, to fist."

The golden dragonet had been circling above us and whistling farewells to her friends, but at the Kymari's words, she banked and glided downwards. She descended towards the Kymari and landed on his fist in a smooth, practiced motion. The Kymari passed her up to his shoulder, and she rubbed her head affectionately against his cheek.

I looked away from the two of them and closed my eyes against sudden hurt.

When I opened my eyes again, Taureen and Tasha were gone. Most of the Kymari were. But a few were still hanging around, possibly hoping to get another glimpse at some of us. I glanced around but saw I was the only dragonet still there.

I focused on one of the Kymari in particular. The rest were watching the treetops, or occasionally glancing at the devices at their wrists, but this one was doing something on a rectangular machine - the Kymari version of computer tablets. I couldn't make out what was on the screen from this angle, but he kept making motions over it with a stylus. Was he writing something?

I kept a wary gaze on the other Kymari and waited until they were distracted by looking in other directions, then I glided over to a tree with a better view. I knew my green coloration would make it harder for the Kymari to spot me; I could remember a few times where I had hidden in the potted plants around his house, and had jumped out to surprise...

I shook my head to drive away those painful memories and gazed back down at the tablet.

The Kymari was drawing.

The edges of the display were covered in various symbols that didn't make much sense, but the center was clear. Three dragonets in flight, curving through various motions, with the sunrise sketched out on the horizon. The picture was still just a black and white sketch, but each dragonet already had a splash of color in the center of their bodies - one blue, one red, and one silver.

The Kymari must have seen a moment in our Morning Song and decided to capture that in a picture. I spied over his shoulder as he colored in the scene. He was actually a very good artist. I had known a few growing up, especially when I had gone to college, and I knew they would all be a little jealous of his skill.

It was fascinating to watch him work.

"Trenil, we should go." One of the other Kymari glanced down from the treetops and spoke to the artist. "I don't think they're coming back."

The artist made a frustrated sound and scribbled a few more things on his tablet, then reluctantly tapped something on it that made the screen go dark. He stood up and looked back up at the trees. For a brief moment his glance lingered in my direction... but just as I had expected my green scales blended in with the leaves, and he moved on without any reaction. "Sorry, I wanted to sketch that out while it was fresh in my mind. Thank you for coming out with me. What did you think?"

"It was incredible. Even better than you described. I will definitely have to come back another morning."

"I know, right?" The artist - Trenil? - put the tablet in one of his pockets, stowing it safely beneath the knife all the Kymari seemed to wear. "They are fascinating creatures. I've been reading up about them; did you know they actually do breathe fire? It isn't just a colorful name for how they look from the sunlight."

"That sounds dangerous. Has anyone ever been hurt?" The other Kymari glanced warily up at the trees, as if concerned one of us would suddenly descend and blow fire at him.

Trenil just shook his head. "No, actually; not without actively threatening one of their lives first. From what I've read they can actually be quite gentle creatures, even affectionate."

The two Kymari started walking away. "You sound really excited about these things. Am I going to have to worry about you trying to catch one?"

Trenil laughed. "Well... I won't deny that I've thought about it. They really are fascinating creatures. But I'm well aware of the law. They're a protected species, and there's too few of them. It wouldn't be right to try and catch one. And even if I did, you need specific permission from an Elder to keep one. Unless we find an adult that's hurt, or a child that's been abandoned, we aren't supposed to approach them."

"Good. The last thing I need to worry about is bailing you out of trouble with the Elders." The two laughed, then disappeared back out into the forest.

I watched the three remaining Kymari for a little longer, but they didn't seem particularly interesting. I eventually flew away to find something to eat.

I tried to occupy myself in the forest after that... but I doubted I made it an hour before I returned to the edge of the park to waste the rest of the day by staring forlornly at the Kymari buildings.

Why couldn't my Kymari have been as interested in us as that artist had been?...

I could tell Amanda was still very worried about me the following morning. She wanted to stay with me after the Morning Song, but we both knew she had children to worry about. They weren't exactly hatchlings anymore, but they still weren't old enough to let fly around unattended for long.

She rejoined me while the flock was dispersing and made a deal of flying around me for a few moments, extending the lingering excitement of the Morning Song by forcing me to match her in aerial acrobatics... but eventually she pulled away into a hover and sang out a farewell, with a promise to come find me later.

I slipped into the trees and checked back on the Kymari audience. A few had noticed the extra dance Amanda and I had engaged in and were speculating on it, but most seemed to be dispersing and heading back to their city.

One Kymari was sitting against a tree and drawing on his tablet.

I waited for an opening, then darted over to a closer branch to get a better look at his work. I felt a sudden warmth inside as I saw what he was drawing - two dragonets still dancing through the sky together while others were flying away in the background. The picture was still being sketched in black and white, but the two dragonets in the center each had a splash of color in their center. One red, the other green.

I sat in the branches above him and quietly watched the artist draw a picture of myself and Amanda dancing.

The other Kymari had all left by the time the picture was finished. I once again reflected that this Kymari really was a very good artist. I could tell that the picture was beautiful even from far away, and even on the relatively small screen of the tablet. He zoomed out and tinkered with a few details, then just stared at the picture he had made.

There aren't any other Kymari or dragonets here... just us. I hesitated, barely able to comprehend what I was thinking of doing. Just a month or two ago I would have flown far away from any Kymari, but now, after having lived with and been cared for by one...

Now I actually missed being around them. So much so that it hurt.

On some level, I knew it had to be something the scientists had done to us. Some tweaks they had made when they had designed dragonets, something to make us grow attached more easily and to keep us devoted once we did develop feelings. Knowing them, it had probably been done to make it easier for them to control us, or maybe for some other long term goal they never managed to reach. Or maybe the monsters had done it just to see if they could. Whatever the reason, it was just one more dragonet instinct now. Just one more thing I would have to deal with as part of my new life as a dragonet.

But knowing that didn't help it hurt any less.

I glided silently towards the ground and landed on the far side of the clearing from the Kymari. I didn't want to scare him, and... he was still a stranger. My instincts warned me to stay away, and reminded me of those awful days back in the lab, when giants had held us captive in tiny cages and done every manner of horrid thing to us...

Those memories tried to send a shudder through me, but I forced my body to hold still while I pretended to focus on some of the plants around me. The Kymari had concentrated on me the second I had landed, and I knew I had his complete attention even though he didn't say or do anything specific. There was a certain tension in his manner now, as if he was worried anything he might do would scare me.

I pretended not to notice him at all and instead sniffed at one of the plants near me. It really wasn't that interesting - it was some kind of common weed with a scrawny flower that grew around here, and usually just ended up killing some of the more interesting plants that we actually wanted to have - but it didn't really need to be interesting. It was actually better that it was boring, since it meant I wasn't distracted from the Kymari. He still seemed terrified of scaring me and hadn't moved at all.

Okay. Maybe this will help. I started to dig up the weed - it was a weed, after all - and jerked to a stop in the middle of digging. I sat up on my hindlegs and sniffed the air, as if I had suddenly smelled something that worried me. I glanced over at the Kymari and stared directly at him.

He tensed up a little more. His hand was squeezing the stylus so hard that I was surprised it hadn't snapped.

I watched him for a long moment... then I sneezed. I shook my head, then went right back to digging up the plant, as if the Kymari watching me was no more concerning than any of the other trees or plants around me.

The Kymari exhaled loudly. Had he been holding his breath? I smiled to myself as I clawed into the roots of the plant. Silly.

It took me a few minutes to uproot the weed, but I managed it without the Kymari interrupting. I tossed the weed off to the side and walked in a circle around the soft dirt depression I had created. I paused on the side opposite the Kymari, watching him for another long second... then I flopped down in the dirt and spread out my wings.

I wonder what he'll think of this behavior. They're still so curious about us and our habits. I remember every little thing I did being questioned and noted back when... by....

I forced myself not to think about him.

The artist still seemed nervous for a few minutes while we stared at each other... but he eventually moved his hand slowly back to the tablet. I twitched my ear tufts when he first began to move - I hadn't meant to, but it was just an instinctive reaction to something that large moving that near to me, and I couldn't suppress it - but I forced myself to settle back down again.

I spent the morning lazing in the hollow while the artist sketched me.

"You seem a little happier today." Amanda smiled as she watched me eat the sunburst berry she had brought. I hadn't even thought about it this time - I had just thanked her and started devouring the treat.

Was it the same sunburst berry I had turned down a few days ago? Had she saved it for me?

I lowered my head a little in embarrassment, but the red dragonet just nudged my shoulder with her nose. "I'm glad to see it. We've all been worried about you." She glanced down from the branch and looked around the forest floor below us. "Though it wouldn't have anything to do with the Kymari that's been hanging around more lately, would it?"

I fidgeted with my wings, stretching them and then pulling them back. "...is it that obvious?"

"Not to most of us. But I've seen how you follow him around when he's here. Drake noticed too. He wanted to make sure you weren't in any danger from that Kymari - are you?"

I shook my head. "No. I only go around him when he's sitting down, and I fly away if he gets up. I think he works as a guard at night and just likes the chance to draw us when his shift ends; he hasn't tried to approach me or do anything threatening." I had watched him enough by this point to have overheard a number of conversations between him and other Kymari, and I had picked up a few things about him. "I think he's too scared of frightening me off to try anything that might hurt me."

"Okay." Amanda smiled as she watched me chew more of the berry. "Have you thought about leaving the forest with him?"

I paused in the middle of chewing and looked down. "...no." My mindspeech held the discordant feeling to it that always came whenever we lied.

The smile in Amanda's expression grew a little gentler, and she nudged at my side again. "It wouldn't be a problem if you did, you know. Everyone would understand if you decided to follow him home one day."

I gripped the half-eaten berry a little tighter. "It isn't that simple. The Kymari have laws; they can't just take one of us from this park. They have to get specific approval from an Elder first. That's what happened with Taureen and Alec - they got permission because Tasha and Serena were both wounded." I stopped short from including myself in the examples. Technically an Elder had given permission in my case as well, when I had been rescued from the fox attack... but...

"I'm sure something could be worked out. Tasha has mentioned they've been overworked lately. More ships wanting to be inspected, longer hours, less days to relax. That sort of thing. I think they'd be glad if you wanted to go with one and help them find sicora. You're already much more comfortable around the Kymari than most of us are." Amanda had enough tact not to mention why I was so much more comfortable... but I couldn't help but remember it. The way that Kymari had cared for me. The weeks I had spent close to him. All the times he had held me, or pet me, or fed me treats, or played with me, or...

...and I couldn't help but remember how it had ultimately all turned out.

I stared at the remaining half of the sunburst berry for a long moment, then quietly whispered the fear still haunting me. "But what if he's just like..." I still couldn't bring myself to say his name. "What if this Kymari is just like the other one?" I felt my claws begin to press into the berry's skin, and I fought back the tears I could feel starting just from thinking how much it would hurt if I started to get close to someone else, the way I had done once before - the way Tasha had, the way Serena and Tom had - only for him to... to... "What if he doesn't want me, either?"

Amanda slowly reached out to cover me with her wing. "I don't think you will have to worry about that. I've seen how he watches you. And I noticed him after the Morning Song today. He kept looking between all the green dragonets. I don't think he can recognize you yet from the rest of us, but I do think he likes you; I think he was wondering which of us was the adorable green that's been posing for his sketches the past few days." She dipped her head close and nudged my side. "He already likes you, Ivy. He won't be like the other one."

"But what if he is..."

"Then it'll be his loss, and you'll come back here, and I'll go fight all the Kymari in that city for being such jerks, and get all the sunburst berries they have, and put them all in a giant pile, and we'll eat our way through them until you aren't sad anymore." Amanda's wing tugged me a little closer as she tightened her hug. "There's a more important question you need to ask instead."

I smiled in spite of myself at Amanda's determination. The thought of one tiny - but very annoyed - dragonet fighting all the Kymari... it was funny. "What's that?"

"What if he isn't like that other one? What if he does want you?"

"Are you sure about this?"

I sent back a wordless confirmation through the mindlink. "Is he there?"

Amanda was quiet for a second before responding. "I think so. Is this him?" She sent an image of a Kymari through the mindlink, and I felt a flicker of happiness. It was the artist I had been stalking the past few days - Trenil.

"That's him."

"He just got here. He's sitting down and messing with that tablet thing."

"Is anyone else with him?" I vaguely remembered the friend he had been with that first day. It probably wouldn't be an issue, but if he did have company it might cause problems with my plan. A lot depended on him being alone. It wouldn't hurt to be sure.

"He seems to be off on his own. Taureen and Tasha are here too and know what you're planning, just in case there are any complications. Now hurry up! You're going to be late!"

"I'll be there!" I looked back at the bush I had found and hesitated. The bush was full of berries. Every one of them was ripe. Every one of them was plump and juicy. Every one of them was a bright, shiny, attractive purple color.

Every one of them was triggering the Blood Memories inside me with a warning, a simple, concrete certainty. Every single one of those berries was poisonous, and would leave me sick for a week if I ate even a single one.

The Kymari Elders would be suspicious of any Kymari who showed up with a dragonet that was healthy. I knew that from what I had already seen. This Kymari would be too worried about breaking the law to let a healthy dragonet just follow him from the park. And more than that, the Elders might become suspicious about a supposed animal suddenly deciding to ignore all of its instincts to approach a Kymari. They would start to suspect there was something more to me - or even worse, they would suspect Trenil of lying to cover up that he had caught me, and forbid him from letting me stay. Even if they somehow realized that I was the fire lizard that had just recently been released back into the wild, it could still mean a lot of suspicion for Trenil to deal with. I had no idea how seriously the Kymari would punish someone believed to have kidnapped one of us, but I suspected it would be severe.

And I was certain it would be enough to scare Trenil away from letting me follow him back to his home. He would try and send me away. Try and bring me back here, and leave the park without me. I... I couldn't go through that. Not again.

But if Trenil came to the hospital with a 'fire lizard' that was sick, and that clearly needed help... that would be different. That would give him an opening to let me stay.

That would give us a chance.

I stripped the bush of its berries and quickly scarfed them down.

I made it to the clearing we had picked out to dance at as I felt the first tugs of the Morning Song. I danced for the sunrise with the other dragonets, making it through without feeling any ill effects from the berries. The flock began to disperse as the song ended, and Amanda and I settled down on a branch above Trenil.

He was working on another picture of our sunrise dance again... but this time, only a single dragonet was in his sketch. It was still black and white at that point, aside from a single splash of green in the center of the dragonet. A marker for the color he would eventually fill in.

I somehow knew that it was supposed to be a picture of me.

Another Kymari walked over and began engaging him in conversation - Taureen, Tasha's handler. I listened to them talk about dragonets - or as they always called us, 'fire lizards'. Trenil seemed excited about the topic and shared how he had started coming by after his night shifts to watch us dance, and how he had taken to drawing sketches of us. He seemed surprised to learn that Taureen was an actual bond handler, and was clearly excited when Taureen suggested the possibility of him getting to see Tasha.

I smiled faintly at his enthusiasm, knowing that Trenil would soon have the opportunity to be a bond handler, too.

The rest of the Kymari eventually wandered off, leaving only Taureen and Trenil. I half suspected Taureen was trying to drag out the conversation and make sure Trenil would stay nearby... though I caught Trenil looking up into the trees on occasion, and knew he would have stayed in the small clearing. He was hoping I would show up again.

Amanda waited with me as the morning wore on... until a terrible wracking pain seized my stomach. My entire belly hurt all at once, and was determined to make sure I knew it.

I only barely managed to stay on the branch we were perched on. Oh, stars above, why did I think it was a good idea to eat so many...

I wobbled and instantly regretted even that slight motion. My stomach was adamant that I did not need to be moving right now. There simply needed to be a cool, flat surface underneath me, one that I could get to without any movement whatsoever, and which I could sprawl out on, also somehow without moving.

Amanda started warbling in concern as she noticed my sudden change in expression. That had been the plan - make a lot of noise, make it obvious something was wrong - but ugh, noise was not what I needed right now. I stared down at the forest floor. It was way, way, way too far away, but I had to get down there. Trenil was down there, and wouldn't be able to help me until I got there. And I really needed help. And more than that, the ground down there was flat and perfect for sprawling out on, unlike this uncomfortable branch.

I shakily spread out my wings and tried to glide down to the ground. I made it about two-thirds of the way down before the motions were too much for my stomach.

It violently pushed its contents back up my throat. I shuddered in mid-air and vomited, then plummeted the last bit of the way to the ground. I think I might have been lucky enough to avoid landing in the mess I had made, but I was still treated to the sight of half-digested berries in a puke-green puddle right in front of me. And they smelled.

I promptly threw up again. I have made a terrible, terrible mistake...

Trenil held me close to his chest and watched me with that same concerned, scared expression he had worn for the last... however long it had been. Time had been fuzzy for a while now. Trenil was also fuzzy. I was fuzzy, too. The wall across from us was fuzzy, too, and so was the couch he was sitting on. Everything was fuzzy. It was a good kind of fuzzy. I liked it.

Dumb sedatives.

But even in the fuzzy state the drugs had left me in, I still knew they had helped me drink the foul medicine the veterinarian had prescribed. I was pretty sure I would have thrown it up from the smell alone if I hadn't first been drugged out and too drained to move. And the medicine had already started calming the horrible cramp in my stomach, so I was grateful for the medicine. So I was grateful for the sedatives for letting me take that, in spite of being so dumb.

And they had calmed me down. My instincts were quiet, even though I was right next to an unfamiliar Kymari. The subconscious urges to run, or hide, or claw him if he didn't get back... they were all quiet. I didn't have to fight anything, and I could simply relax against him. I didn't think I would have been able to bring myself to be this close to him without the sedative, even though... I really appreciated it. I liked being held like this. So I was grateful to the sedatives for that, too.

His hand slowly returned to my back and began petting gently over me again. I felt my sight grow hazier as I struggled to look back into his eyes. My body somehow found the energy despite the sedative, and I thrummed softly in response to his comforting touch.

Please... be my friend this time...