No audience with the Abbot until the baby was born? Marin wasn't sure how to process that information. That meant he would be in exile for–what?–at least four, five more months? And that was if Tilly was right about Jocelyn being well into her second trimester. Not that he doubted her expertise. In that time the harvest would be gathered, the winter crops sewn, the other fields going fallow. He might as well go back to stay with Hobson, Aldric and the other ghosts of his past be damned.

But that would mean being separated from Tilly. He wasn't willing to do that. Not now.

"He didn't say that you couldn't stay. Just that he would not have an audience with you," said Tilly, her words more optimistic than the disappointment painted across her face.

"Yes," Hobard said with hesitation, "How would they even know if you slept in our room tonight? They may not allow you to practice healing, but how can they deny you shelter?"

Marin walked ahead of them and out of the gate. He kicked at a loose stone on the dirt road, sending it scattering off in a plume of dust. "Pray. He wants me to pray. Like an aesthetic, maybe I should climb on top of a stone pillar and meditate without sustenance for the next five months." The words tasted of burnt lemon peel in his mouth. Bitter and acidic.

"Marin," his father's voice warned. "That's bordering on blasphemy."

Chastened, he felt tears brim in his eyes. How many times had he cried over the past many weeks? His resolve was being tested, and he was failing. "I know, father. I'm sorry." He took a deep, steadying breath. "But, if the Abbot expelled me from here not even three weeks ago, I doubt he would allow me to rest my head within his walls before I am absolved."

Tilly walked up behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder. He reached up and placed his hand on top of hers. At the moment, he didn't care what his father saw.

"I have an idea," she said. "A compromise, maybe."

"What?" Marin asked, turning to face her.

"There's an empty stall in the horse's stables. The building is adjacent to the compound, but not within the stone walls." She gestured over to where the few farm horses were kept next to the wheat fields. The tall golden stalks swayed in the light breeze, nearly ready for the early summer harvest, standing in stark contrast to the spring green grass.

"That just might work," Hobard said, stepping beside them. "Camden is a good man," he said, referring to the old hand who was in charge of all The Order's fields and livestock. While Marin had always tended the medicinal garden that was within the walls, other medics oversaw food crops that grew on large sloping fields: wheat for bread and brewing; a few rows of fruit trees; carrots, radish, onions, garlic, and turnips. In the stables there were a few old plow horses. A chicken coop was also built along the wall.

"Yes," Marin agreed. "And Ryder entered the monastery as a novice at the same time that I did. We've always been friendly. I know he works in the stables, too."

The trio made their way around the wall. When they reached the stables, Marin stopped and looked around. Four stalls were constructed next to each other, facing out toward the fields. Each stall had a half-sized door that would swing in or out. The stable's slanted thatched roof sloped outward, creating an awning that would keep rain from dripping onto a curious horse's head. Three of the stalls were left open, and Marin noted that three horses were grazing nearby. There was no one else in sight.

"Come one," Tilly said, stepping closer to the long rectangular building.

Marin and Hobard followed her into the shade of the roof's awning and over to the closed door.

"This is the empty stall," she said as she swung open the door revealing a small dimly lit square with a cleared wooden floor. "We just need to find you a straw mat and a basin for water. Can't be any less comfortable than Hobson's loft."

Stepping inside, Marin had to agree. There would be more fresh air because the door only closed off half of the entranceway which would help with the animal smells. Plus, the breeze would be welcomed on warm summer nights.

"In the mornings, meet me by the gate and I will bring you something to eat." Hobard said. "It's not ideal, but it will be nice to keep you close. And better than sleeping outside."

Marin just nodded. He didn't know what to say. He was thankful for Tilly's suggestion. Even if living here for five months was hard to imagine, he couldn't think of a better solution. He was just hopeful that Camden and Ryder would be as understanding.

"You look overwhelmed," Tilly said, stepping closer to him. Just her presence made him feel calmer.

"I just hope it all works out."

She reached out and squeezed his hand.

"I'm going to go see if I can find Camden and let him know I need this favor. I've helped him out a few times," Hobard said, waving his hand vaguely, "I doubt he will object." And then he excused himself to leave.

Alone, Tilly turned towards Marin. "I know it seems like a long time until Jocelyn has the baby, but the time will fly by quickly."

He knew she meant it as reassuring, but it didn't really help. "A lot can happen in five months. An entire season will come and pass."

"True, but–"

"Just think of how much has happened in just the past five days," Marin interrupted her and leaned in to kiss her.

Their lips had only touched briefly when she ended the kiss and gently pushed him back. "We can't. Not here in the daylight."

"Then, maybe tonight in the darkness?" He hated the whine that invaded his voice.

"I'll definitely come and check on you," she said with a glint in her eye. "But, I need to take my leave now. I have patients to see in town... I'll miss you while I'm gone."

"Not as much as I'll miss you." Not being allowed to kiss her, Marin reached out and squeezed her hand instead. She squeezed it back, and then turned to go, and was gone.

Marin was alone in the horse's stall. There wasn't a stool to sit on or a straw roll to lie on. The space was completely bare, and Marin didn't have anything with him except his satchel with herbs and medical tools. Dropping the satchel, he walked over and leaned through the top of the doorway.

He looked out at the horses and studied them. He didn't know much of anything about horses, but they were beautiful creatures. Two of them were dark brown with thicker fur. One had a black mane, the other more of a honey blonde. The third horse was all black with a sleek shine and looked more robust. Their tales all lazily swished as they slowly grazed down the grassy hill.

After a while, Marin walked back into the stall and slumped down in a corner, not knowing what else he should do. For the first time in a long time, he was bored. And he lacked purpose. The herbs in his bag just sat there. It would be a long time before he was allowed to see another patient.

He thought his father might come back, either alone or with Camden. But he didn't. Fat black flies buzzed through the air. He thought he counted five, but it was hard to keep track of them, they moved so fast. The sun slowly climbed up the sky, the shadows shortening and disappearing as it became noon. And then, as the sun fell, the shadows stretched in the opposite direction.

As the light faded, Marin heard footsteps. Was Hobard returning? Tilly? No, it was Ryder. The young man clicked his tongue and guided the honey-blonde horse towards her stall. "There you go, sweet girl," he said, closing the stall door.

Marin didn't know what to do. Should he announce his presence, or hide? He knew Ryder somewhat well, but also knew that his father had said he would speak to Camden first. Camden was in charge of the stables. So, Marin just scooted further back into the shadows and hoped that he wouldn't be seen.

Ryder only took a few minutes to guide each horse back to their stalls, and then Marin heard his footsteps fade away.

As darkness fell, Marin felt an odd mixture of relief and fear. He was relieved that Ryder hadn't discovered him, that no one had kicked him out, and that this space might work to offer him shelter until the Abbot agreed to see him. But where was his father? Where was Tilly? Should he have gone looking for them earlier? His stomach was growling, and he felt very alone.

Just as he was about to leave the confines of his stall, Marin heard new footsteps approaching. Had Ryder returned? Another medic? But no, in the gray dusk it was Tilly's face that appeared in the stall's doorway.

"Thank goodness you're here," Marin said, standing. He was stiff from sitting most of the day and rolled his shoulders before stepping towards her.

"I can't stay long," she said, looking sorry. "But I do have some gifts for you." She tossed him a straw mat which he caught, surprised. "And..." she held up a fresh loaf of bread.

"That's amazing! Thank you." Marin put down the straw mat and gratefully accepted the bread.

"And here's some cheese, a few walnuts, and a skin of wine."

"Will you sit and enjoy this meal with me? Tell me about your day?" He patted the ground next to him hopefully.

"Not tonight. I need to get back to my room. I think..." she didn't finish her sentence and instead shook her head and took a breath. "Your father told me to remind you to meet him at first light by the main gates."

"I missed you today. Thank you for... everything."

"I missed you, too. I promise." And then, without even a peck on the cheek, she skittered away into the fast approaching night.