okay lets get this story back on track lol

[ + ]

"THAT'S MY EYELINER, HAND IT THE FUCK OVER!"

"BULLSHIT! THIS HAS MY DNA ON IT, YOU CAN GET IT TESTED!"

"I FUCKING WILL! SO GIVE IT TO ME!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"will you two shut up?" namjoon pleaded desperately, fingers curled into his newly-styled hair in vexation. "i'm getting a migraine, and the concert hasn't even started yet!"

"NEVER," taehyung bellowed, who was presently engaged in wrestling with jimin in an attempt to snatch the black stick in question away from him. "OR AT LEAST NOT UNTIL THIS DICKWAD GIVES ME BACK MY EYELINER!"

"IT'S MY EYELINER, YOU FREAK!"

"YOU'RE THE FREAK, FREAK!"

hoseok watched without amusement as the two fell to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs, then make no attempt to get up and instead resumed their heated argument there while throwing kicks, punches, and shrieked insults at each other. he shot a pitying look towards the leader.

"don't," namjoon stated firmly, noticing it immediately. "it's your fault that we're behind schedule in the first place."

hoseok's jaw dropped. "excuse me?"

namjoon glowered at him, crossing his arms. "if you'd just helped out like a responsible hyungㅡ"

"correction: he doesn't have to, since he's not part of the hyung line anymore," jungkook called cheerfully, who having had finished with his hair and makeup was watching the '95 liners grappling about in fascination. he looked up at hoseok, mouth curling into its trademark bunny smirk. "he's one of us now."

"one of you?" namjoon repeated, half in amusement. "as in, one of the maknae line?" he released a chuckle. "yeah, right. as if. plus, i'm younger than himㅡif the maknae line needed another member, it would have to be me. but who would want to join, am i right?" he grinned over at hoseok. "am i right?"

hoseok fiddled with his thumbs, choosing another section of the room to focus onㅡan asleep yoongi having his makeup done. "yep, you said it."

"age doesn't matter," jungkook insisted, "he'd rather be in the maknae line. that's what matters."

"i beg to differ," namjoon scoffed, "the whole point of maknae and hyung lines is age. besides, i think we just cleared that hoseok hyung is more than happy in the hyung line. right, hoseok?"

"right," hoseok replied quickly. he didn't have a choiceㅡnamjoon was the one who had the power to change the number of lines he got in songs. jungkook was the one who had the power to plant surprises under his bedsheets . . .

ah, shit.

namjoon nodded in approval, before rising to his full height from his chair, eyes narrowing at the youngest member threateningly. "swear to god, jungkook, if you don't keep trying to pull him over to your filthy maknae side with your filthy maknae paws . . ."

jungkook released a horrified gasp, jumping to his feet. "howㅡhow dare youㅡ"

"come at me, baby j."

"that was going to be jimin's stage name, not mine, you useless excuse of a leader!" jungkook roared, before launching himself at the taller man with a battle cry.

hoseok stepped away hurriedly as a full blown-out fight occurred in addition to the other one already taking place a few feet away. he looked around helplessly. stylists and makeup artists trudged around aimlessly, bored expressions etched into their faces.

"seokjin hyung?" he called out uncertainly. "care to, um, step in?"

"i would," jin replied from his post in front of a mirror, "but my leg is busted. BUSTED, YOU HEAR ME?" his voice hit a hysterical pitch. "YOONGI?"

the man who hoseok had assumed to be asleep let out a short snort.

a vein popped in jin's forehead before he picked up a hairbrush carefully, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "the inner seokjin is about to be unleashed."

hoseok wasn't about to stick around to witness that happen.

"bathroom if anyone needs me."

···

seven slightly disheveled boys threw their arms up in greeting as the screams of the crowd heightened with their appearance, the disgruntled scowls the majority of the members had sported before entering the stage disappearing with the wild support being shrieked into their ears.

though two out of seven were wearing no eyeliner, three out of seven walked with a slight limp, and one out of seven had a prominent bump on the side of his head, all this was disregarded from the excitement their entrance always seemed to produce.

two members played around in one corner, testing different actions to see how the audience would react. it wasn't a competition to see who could make the audience screech louder or anythingㅡof course not!

"man, there are so many people!" taehyung finally exclaimed, pushing his mic away from his mouth so that his words wouldn't be projected across the entire area. hoseok shook his head to signify that he hadn't heard him, so the younger leaned closer (this produced quite a loud reaction from the audience, which hoseok conveniently overlooked), almost screaming into his ear, "I SAID, THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE!"

"THERE ARE!" hoseok yelled back into taehyung's, mic moved away safely as well. "THERE ALWAYS ARE! WE'RE FUCKING FAMOUS!"

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT A LOT OF PEOPLE MEANS, HYUNG?"

"PLURAL OF PERSON IN LARGE QUANTITIES."

"NO, HYUNG," taehyung shouted excitedly, "MORE CAMERAS!"

hoseok blinked. more camerㅡ?

oh.

"don't you dare," he hissed, almost biting taehyung's ear off as he moved his mouth closer to it to make up for the reduction in his loudness. it had been so long since the subject of taehyung's goal to become a meme had come up that hoseok had almost forgotten about it.

almost.

"why not?" taehyung whined, face twisting into a pouty expression. "come on, it'll be just like any other time! only this time there's a chance for it to be captured in history!"

"no means no," hoseok snapped, eyes narrowing with a sense of finality. "jesus, taehyung, can you try being serious for once? look at the turn up today—" he made general waving motion towards the audience, which erupted into a fresh bout of cheers. "i think they'd appreciate it if you didn't act like it's a—a joke!"

taehyung blinked, tilting his head to the side in confusion before shaking it in rapid vehemence. "bullshit, hyung! can you even hear yourself?"

"to be honest, no, i can't."

taehyung raved on as if he hadn't even heard him (which he probably hadn't because let's be real, armys know how to make some noise), "they've never seen my memeness as me not taking them seriously—honestly, do you have any proper reason for not letting me just—"

hoseok placed a finger on taehyung's lips, cutting him off abruptly, which the younger stared at cross-eyed with the intention to bite off before looking back up at him, eyebrows drawn.

"i've got my eyes on you," hoseok warned, smiling pleasantly. "don't try me."

he withdrew his hand safely as a sharp hiss left the other's mouth, who continued to glower at him darkly. "you're a dick," taehyung muttered, crossing his arms stiffly.

hoseok shrugged nonchalantly. "i try."

"well, you succeed."

"what are you two doing?" namjoon whisper-shouted, hand blocking his mouthpiece as he made his way over to them. the other two boys stared at him in confusion, and he let out a trademark exasperated-leader-sigh before grabbing taehyung by his shoulders and wheeling him away. hoseok blinked thrice before reaching out and grabbing taehyung's arm, pulling him back.

"what are you doing?" he shot back in annoyance, successfully tugging taehyung out of the leader's grip. "you can't just go about stealing . . . uh, people!"

jimin chose to scurry over around then, eyes flicking between the trio in incredulity. "guys, what the fuck are you doing? take your positions!"

"zip it, vocalist. the only one who can say that is the leader. me." namjoon breathed in, and on no motion from either, he roared, "TAKE YOUR FUCKING POSITIONS!"

"oh, positions!" taehyung piped up brightly. "you should've just said so!" he glanced at hoseok, mouth twitching into a mischievous grin, whose eyes widened immediately. "as in, me furthermost right—"

"—and hoseok furthermost left," namjoon finished, nodding impatiently. taehyung placed a hand over his mouth.

"oh no, must you part me from my precious hobi hyung?" he asked, voice laced with mock despair. "oh, the cruelty of it all!"

"taehyung, i'm serious, if you fucking dare—" hoseok began dangerously as the other rocked on the balls of his feet, humming cheerfully.

"kim taehyung, i'm serious." namjoon pressed his fingers together casually, which produced a crack almost immediately.  "if you don't take your position right fucking now, you won't be counting the number of lines you have in bts' next song, you will be counting the number of words."

"you heard the man." taehyung did a salute, a giggle of success escaping his lips. "cheeri-fucking-o!" and with that, he was gone.

"hold u—" hoseok started, too stunned to act. namjoon flicked him across the forehead.

"snap out of it and look alive! we're starting!" he huffed, before jogging off to his position in the lineup.

hoseok blinked, touching his forehead in shock. "did he just flick me? jimin, tell me he didn't flick me."

"i'm no liar, hyung." hoseok glared across the stage at the leader, hands balling into fists before jimin placed a hand on his shoulder, sighing.

"you can get him after the concert," he told the extremely irked sunshine. "get your priorities straight, hyung. c'mon, focus!"

the older nodded his head, muscles easing almost immediately. "right. priorities straight." the boy next to him visibly relaxed before adjusting his mouthpiece and greeting the audience, followed by a wave of enthusiasm from it.

"2! 3! bang!" the leader's voice boomed across the stadium.

hoseok raised his hand in a gun, simultaneously glancing towards his left, his action mirrored in the other six. he cursed under his breath, leftmost boy—his firstmost priority—hardly visible past the other members between him and hoseok. how the fuck was he supposed to have 'his eyes on him' as he'd threatened if he could barely see him?

"hello, we're bts!"

hoseok sighed.

well, this calls for drastic measures.

[ + ]

trump won and i want to go back and edit all the chapters with taehyung fanboying over him ugh

i rLLY THOUGHT HILLARY WAS GOING TO WIN,, no offence but wtf america