janus

she slept in streamers and skinny jeans,

stuck to the floor with Irish cream

and dreaming her boss would go easy

for sleeping away the first of January

and being sorry, not sorry

for things got messy and a little dirty

a little too quickly;

throwing food from the pantry

at the boys in white shirts

and drawing faces on top of faces.

she stumbled to the kitchen sink

just thinking

"hell I'm fat, look at that"

booking out Tuesday for spin class

knowing that day would pass,

and just thinking "can I be assed?"