I walked across the grass

not a single thought filling my head

except that I was walking, 

One foot 

in front of the other 

Left 

right

left

right 

It repeated 

through my mind 

as I steadied myself

towards the door. 

I told my hand 

to lift to my face:

and

it did. 

It brushed 

a stray 

wisp of hair 

away from my eye, 

and went limp 

again 

by my side. 

I turned to the left and saw 

not one 

but two

pairs of eyes watching me. 

They held confusion 

and curiosity in them

Faces composed with soft smiles

I became so conscious of my every move.

It was apparent I was someone special, 

that I was carrying something heavy.

Their loads were just different, 

and not exposed. 

So as my hand reached out in front of me

to grab the hefty door, 

they sat outside the quaint ice cream shop 

floating along in their own worlds 

and I in mine,

both trying not to look back.

My high-heels clanked across the linoleum floors; 

a stranger's wardrobe echoing through my ears. 

I kept walking till I faced a receptionist, 

with a chronic smile at her computer, 

I couldn't help but wonder why. 

She quickly noticed my appearance in the room  

and gasped loudly.

"My my! 

You must be her. 

I've been waiting for you. 

Excuse me-

*we've* been waiting.

You are inexcusably late," 

she looked critically at my face 

and then down my body. 

The snakes of her eyesight 

suffocating. 

Her fake smile continued with

bewilderment at my audacity 

to stand

speechless.

"I suppose you shall be excused," 

and she came out from behind her desk 

to grasp my left hand. 

Chills rose up my arm 

and suddenly my jaw was chattering.

She led me down a dim hallway carpeted in scarlet. 

Opening a door at the end of the corridor, 

she yelled inside, 

"She's here!"

"Ah, miss Merridee Becker."

"That's me."

Shuffles of papers 

and a flip of a switch on the soundboard, 

"Well, I'm honored to be in your presence. 

And even more honored 

to help you produce some music. 

Huge fan.

Deeply sorry for what happened with your 

last label...

and well... 

everything," 

he says looking into my eyes with 

passionate

sincerity.

"Thank you. 

I'm ready to start afresh."

"Well that is only part of my job.

You've brought some of your writings with you?" 

he asks referring to my banged-up velvet notebook.

"Yes."

"Well let's play around with some of those hearty words."

He starts to walk over 

to a little red couch in the corner, 

lit only by three Edison bulbs. 

Short, reddish dreadlocks 

bobbing when he walks. 

He has a stocky build and large hands 

that push aside anything that happens to 

appear in his way. 

Noticing I haven't become his shadow,

he looks back at me.

Thick, purple glasses 

perch at the edge of his nose 

hiding muddy brown eyes 

behind the 

smudged lenses. 

Mature, soft kindness lingers

on every spot they land 

like they've seen a multitude of lives 

hindered in heartbreak 

then shifted into grace. 

In that short moment, 

I decide he's a keeper of trust. 

He's seen to tell about 

shacks in sandstorms 

that have felt every miniscule speck 

but still stand.

"If you don't mind, could I use the piano?" 

I muster.

"Of course."

He strides over to a sturdy white chair 

and pulls it next to the grand piano.

"Wow. It's beautiful," 

I say with my eyes on the ebony and ivory keys.

"It's been a beautiful part of almost every musician's journey here. 

And I'm assuming it'll be the case for you."

My fingers reach down and hover above the

familiar feeling the keys give off, 

each one showing a gray scuff from loved wear and tear; 

where talented humans poured out their hearts 

and where I'm about to pour out mine.

I settle on the cushioned bench and 

suddenly

words,

that I've held onto so tightly, 

escape my lips. 

I forget where I am 

and who I am 

but remember 

everything I have wanted to forget.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N

I put a youtube video at the top of the page that is Merridee's song. Joy Williams has been an inspiration of mine for a while now and this song has touched me in so many ways. Personal and not so personal in the fact that I sympathize her situation with the band The Civil Wars. She is a beautiful musician and I admire her work so much. I hope you love this and this song as much as I do! :) 

-kirsten