(Flashback?? I don't know either. Good luck trying to figure where this goes)

"Get in the car, Ashlie!" Corina, my mom's searing voice burns through my brain, but not through my feet. Don't be too loud, mom. I can only imagine the Muertos praising her voice.

"I can't. . ." The words stung my throat, my head pounding from the burning sensation under my eyes. I can't move! I'm trying mommy, I really am.

She looks at me with frightened eyes, and just then, just for a second, I feel like she's thinking of leaving me. That's not right- She's my mom!

Dad had left early to go and get some more gas before we headed out on our big trip to the west coast. They had assumed we could just leave this country on a boat and maybe there would be some hope in a separate country. I don't know, but I think that there's a possibility. Which are better chances then the ones we have staying in one spot, I guess. I had jumped out from the backseat because Jessie had dropped his Yo-Yo and it rolled down the hill. Most times, I would ignore him and his whines because he's just a kid and a little Yo-Yo wasn't really worth the time, but this was his favorite and I felt guilty for not even trying. For not trying hard enough to make his life worthwhile. To help him escape the monsters for just a second. He shouldn't have to feel how I do every day and night. So, of course, I jumped straight out and scraped across the paines of grass and rocks to grip his Yo-Yo.

Once I got back up, something in my legs shifted, I couldn't walk or barely breathe. I still can't! Like my body gave up on me.. I feel like a statue. Please. Help.

My psychological screams prove futile as my mom doesn't inch closer. Why isn't she gripping me? Why isn't she helping me?! I search her eyes, for anything, for any proof that she still loves me. But, all I find is her selfish tears. How can she cry, but still give up.

"Mom, Help me." I whisper. Unable to talk, as I have been saddened speechless. The flames engulf my entire body, as I feel the sweat, the tears from my own skin, shed. "I can't baby, you can't move. It's a danger. Oh god. . ." She wipes away stained cheeks and moves backwards- away from me. I can't and won't say anything more, she's right- I guess. If I can't even move then getting away is stupidly foolish-

"Arghhhh. . ." The sound of muertos overcome my ears, as I hear their moans and groans, I can hear their footsteps arriving closer to me. But, I can't do anything.

Goodbye.

My eyes flutter shut. The water built up releasing and forming a waterfall of salt and pain against my cheeks, but pain is not the final emotion I want to have.

A hand grips my shoulder and I feel the sting ring throughout my entire body, but I have accepted this.

"Bye, Baby." A whisper darts into my ear. Wait-. . . Oh god no! The force of a person shoving me towards the van breaks me from my disability, I can walk again. The first thing I do is jolt my head around- I see it.

I see it bite him in the cheek- but his mouth remains quiet. Everything remains quiet.

Goodbye, Daddy. . .

Mom's screams ring through my trance as she pulls the trigger on dad's killer. I can't speak.

I run to my brother's in hope they don't understand what just happened. I don't want to understand. I don't want him to be dead. I don't- I can't. . .

"Thank you for the happiest years of my life-" My mom's muted sobs ring through my ear. I killed my dad.

A small hand rests across my face- Marco had jumped out of his booster. Just like I had jumped out of my seat. I can't-

"It's okays, Ashwle." He smiled, but his attempts were futile and unwanted.

"No. It's not! Get in your F***ing chair, Idiot!" The moments the words leave my mouth I instantly regret them, but now is no time for regret. I don't want to be held- I don't want to be okay. I want to scream, to keep my anger. I want to hurt everything and everyone. Does that make me a monster? Maybe, but I no longer care.

My hands grip his chubby torso and pull him into my arms, not out of love, but out of anger. Somehow- He doesn't cry or scream, like he knows I need this. Wow, even a Five-year old can tell I'm beyond furious. And he's the one who's sobs beyond the tiniest thing. Stupid kid. I rushed in front of the car and to the other side, but I wasn't quick enough. He must have seen, because his entire baby face contorts with pressure.

"What's wrong with Daddy?" He stiffens up and tries to look me in the eyes, but his face is far too heavy for his small body, so he basically just flops back. "None of your concern, Marco." My face softs, my anger bottles to his firm but slopped words.

I reach the other side of the car and tuck him in. "Hey! My Yo-Yo!" Jessie squirms in his seat to reach the toy in my hand. I reach over and put it into his slightly less chubby hands. All I get in response is a simple smile before he goes back and practices it.

"Ashlie, get in. You can- You," Mom closes the door on Jess's side and sits in the driver's seat. "You can sit up here."

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I can't express it to her. She just shrugs as I head to the front and sit down. "We all die. I'm practically already dead, so are you". Even though her words are honest, there's a venom in them that no one could ever mistake.

______________________________________________

After five hours of silence, something shifts in moods. I mean, we were already at rock bottom, but she dug deeper. "Here, baby girl." She rips out her precious headband, my Grandma gave her. It was red and soft. "I love you."

No, I will love better than you.

Then, a gun. Then- a body. A stopped car. A loud noise. Move. And it's over, all of it is over.

My parents both died on the same day. Both my love for them is so intense. Move. I don't scream, the two back there do, but I am out of tears to give. I am already broken, Mom like you, but I would never leave Jessie and Marco. You selfish rat. I must move.

"Time to go." I don't allow time to mourn. I don't allow the dead to catch up with us. I understand now, I understand that you should never expect someone to last forever. You can never hide from death now. It is everywhere.

I tug out the gun from her still hand and kick open the door. Maybe I could continue to the west coast, but One, I don't know how to drive, and two- there's no hope anymore. I guess there never really was.

Walking to the back, I take out my most important bag and pull Marco out of his seat and into my arms, as I encourage Jessie to move out.

"Mom, Ashlie." He cries, but honest tears, not kid tears.

"She would want us to find safety, Jessie, Immediately. Obviously she wasn't safe." I find disgust at my own body. I am angry at myself, I am angry that I can't care for the fact that my own mother is dead. I don't want to push through, but it hurts so bad, I can't even cry.

"Jessie, my brother, She's gone. They are both gone- but I won't leave you. What she is , is selfish." I whisper, going back to my parazliezed state. Jessie drags his feet out and trails behind me. And, we walk. We just walk.

______________________________________________

"Your bit? Both of y-" I examine the small but mighty blood trail on Jesse's arm and Marco's chubby stomach. Neither of them cry loudly, Marco just smiles. He just smiles. My god. Oh my god, No. "It's okay, Ashlie-" That is the first time he ever said my name correctly.

It's been a year since Corina and Jose left us alone. I'm still too angry, to call either of them my parents.I knew my parents, and I know that those fearful imposters were nowhere near my guardians. The ones I grew up with were brave, The one that saved me was a coward. He was scared for my life, but not for his. In this world- It's every viva for themselves! For if they can fight off any predators- then they are their own person. You can't stay alive if you love someone or something. Love is a curse. It always was, but I was too ignorant to truly believe it.

And- my mom, Don't get me started on her. I now know that she was smart to question the safety she and my family were in if she was to risk her life and put a temporarily disabled person in her own hands. But she was more than stupid when she let her emotions show after my dad died. Her feelings affected the kids in the car- the unknowing and happy children. The first time they ever saw her mourning was also the last. . . Which left me to teach them that suicide is never the answer- They are strong to survive so long. Foolish emotions should not get in front of their safety. And Corina was my prime example of studiness. . . She was-

"It was the back room- The one we haven't searched yet." Poor seven-year old Jessie comes clean. The guilt ridden all over his face.

"No, I told you- I told you to stay clear!!" My face burns with a rising urgency in my blood. Both of them looked down and averted my eyes.

"I said, I know I did-" A sudden change. I didn't want to scream. . . I wanted to cry. I hadn't cried since the very day the imposters died. I was too busy or tired. Why? Why is this happening to me?

"Where is your will to live!" I instinctively grip Jessie's thin elbow. Food being scarce, but I was always trying my hardest. "Let go!" He slaps my neck and I can't breathe. . . Pull through. "We were trying to help!" He screams, blood rushing through his miniature body. My entire mood softens from his baby tears.

"Jessie. . you're dead." The words spill. I should have said something different. I should have made something out of my response.

"I know."

I take this in. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry I couldn't feed you. I'm sorry I couldn't even protect you!" There it is- the tears spill A foregin burn haunts my eyes.

"Ashlie- it was never your fault, not this time." He pushes himself and Marco into my arms. My arms.

__________________________________________

That night I left. I couldn't kill them. I couldn't help them, so I just got up and left.

Now- the coal rocks burn through the soul of my shes. I have finally gone immune to the pain as a slow trudge is all I can manage. My energy drained to the point it's disappeared. I have left the two- but their whiny voices and sparks of joy ring in my ears. Their little chubby faces and toothless smiles. Stains from carbonated drinks found along the road. It's all here. All of it seems so real- so why aren't they here? Why did I leave them?!

I think back to their words. It wasn't my fault- no.

I taught them how to survive but what was the point if they didn't know how to live.

I had the eggs, but they all cracked open.

_________________________________________

Words: 2,024

Time: ?? (Still don't know)

Hey guys- so, I really was not organized when writing this book but I think this goes here. Someone said to save the flashbacks for the nect chapter so I mean- Yeah...