'You can do this Mailee, just slip in and everything will be okay. You will be unnoticed and there should be a seat open for you!' Mailee found herself trying to go unnoticed as she opened the door to the classroom sliding through the crack she had opened up. She took off her backpack as soon as she got in, nonetheless, it was still on her arm and not her back.

She figured this would be a better way to enter than just swinging it open widely and walking in. No, that was not something she would ever do, even if she could speak she had no confidence to do that whatsoever. 'Just take a deep breath, everything is gonna be okay.' Her own words bouncing around in her head was not helping.

She hated being the center of attention, It was never her forte. All the eyes that rested on her, the thoughts within their brains which were as clear as day, or at least her brain thinks it is. They were thinking about her. Their whole demeanor gave it away, she knew they were trying to find a way to pick at her. Didn't they all do that?

Her heart pounded against her chest as if it was going to pop out, her breathing grew erratic. Her hands tightened around her tablet. The more her brain went on its little running wheel of ideas, the more she freaked out and tightened her grip on the tablet she held to her chest. If it was something soft or squishy there would be no doubt in her mind that she would have already crushed it in her grasp.

She kept repeating things over in her head, trying to calm down, but they were just useless and was not helping at all, instead, it was making it worse. 'Don't look at the people, don't look at the people.' She chanted in her head. 'As long as you make no eye contact, you can't see the judgments in their eyes and the expressions on their face. Look at the floor. Keep all eyes on the floor.'

'Forget it, I can't!' Trying to calm down was a lost cause, the poor girl couldn't force herself to collect herself together. Her brain would not allow such a thing when there's infinite danger going on around her. Hearing it over the thoughts of trying to get her act together in her head, was not helping one bit at all.

She wanted to go unnoticed for the fact that she knows that they don't understand why she had to use the tablet to speak. She was afraid they would jump up and make the teacher take her only way of communication away! The thought of the humiliation she would experience made her panic.

She took a deep breath, letting it out, then taking yet another deep breath. 'Don't get carried away Mailee, don't overthink, just calm down, imagine you are on a beach, all alone.' She took another deep breath to calm herself down. Each breath made it easier for her to ignore her fears and not feel like passing out right on the floor in front of everyone.

She knew they were secretly judging her in their minds, their eyes burning holes into her. She couldn't bring herself to look at them. That was what her thoughts told her every day, all day, which to most seemed silly, but to her it was serious. Making eye contact was the worst thing to do at a time like this, and it was something she wasn't going to do.

Keeping her eyes on the ground was the best thing she could settle with, or shift her gaze to an object. It felt like hours, yet, it was just a matter of mere seconds. 'Just breath, just breath, just breath, in and out, in and out, in and out. You got this, just ignore everyone, they all have disappeared.' Her chant echoed inside her head.

Unless she had to look someone in the eye, it would be torture for her to casually make eye contact to talk to someone. It was like being made to eat the thing you hated, it makes you feel sick just thinking about it. Not the I-want-to-throw-up sick, just the knot-in-my-stomach-feels-uncomfortable.

She could faintly hear a few classmates whispering to each other, it made her assume that they were talking about her behind her back. How horrible was it to know that people made fun of you, poked jokes, and disrespected you without you being able to defend yourself? They never said it to your face, and even if they did, how were you going to react?

'Don't try and listen to what they are saying, you are too far away, it's nothing, just don't dwell on it.' Those words just bounced around her head, not bringing any comfort to her. It was like they couldn't be absorbed into her brain to make her feel better.

She had dealt with that way too much back home at stores, or really at any public outing, there was. It was an utter humiliation for her, well, in her eyes at least, yet no one understood that. They thought she was silly to look like she was going to pass out just by going to a place with people. Many told her to just get over it and stop being a baby, which she wasn't, her brain would not let her body do anything of that nature.

Many thought she should be used to it by now, even she thought that, but alas it was always fresh, like a wound that never healed, that only got worse every time the band-aid got changed. It was uncomfortable and painful, but the dull stabbing pain in her heart she felt about that, the type that stayed around a little longer than wanted.

She dreaded the idea once again and worried about the fact she was not like everyone else. How was she going to compare to those who can easily say what is on their mind without any help? She couldn't, yet not everyone understood that she could never do that, it seemed like a mere dream that would never come true for her.

Her tablet had to do all her talking, and she found that degrading, humiliating, and a bit pitiful in her opinion. Replying on an electronic device that could at any moment mess up and make her unable to communicate unless she were to grab a piece of paper and write it down by hand. It would take longer, and they would have to read it, that she hated.

It was a constant cycle, her brain was always going on and on about the thing that was bugging her. This whole thing was a blow out of proportion, all thanks to the anxiety deep inside her body. It isn't going to go away like a cold, it would take many things for it to get better, at least for her that is.

The teacher was already at the desk, she had shoulder length brown hair, with bangs resting on her forehead. Her eyes are this beautiful brown that looks like a bright swirled chocolate. She looks like a model, long legs, fair flawless skin, tall and portioned just right in every way, with natural plump lips that always have a smile on them.

She inspected the girl who had just come in moments before, seeing her gaze on the ground, the tight grip she had on her tablet all said one thing: Social Anxiety. Or at least that was what her body language said, standing at the door, having all the classes eyes on the new girl. It was quite scary for most people, she used to be like that a very long time ago.

Mailee swallowed hard, this was not what she wanted to see in the classroom.  How on earth was she here already? Oh yeah, they were all dedicated to school, so of course, she would be there early, unlike back home. She just wished she could be back to being schooled from home, no people to mingle with, only at church, which was only a day per week! Not bad at all, and she managed since she didn't have to speak to anyone.

She hid behind her tablet, things were very different from America, she knew kids weren't like the ones back home, they were dedicated to school and not hating it. She took a few deep breaths shifting her gaze to the ground, feeling all eyes on her. This whole thing was daunting, to say the least, she wished this was all just a dream.

Oh, Hyo-Bin, the name of the teacher, smiled and stood up and the whole class went quiet. That was one way of having everyone to quiet down so she could do an introduction. "You must be Son Mailee?" Her voice was soft as she spoke to the girl, being gentle with her.

Mailee nodded her head, confirming who she was, keeping her eyes away from the other classmates. She prayed she didn't have to introduce herself, that would be - she didn't have words for it, plus she didn't trust herself not to pass out. Even if the woman's words were soft and gentle, it still didn't help her, with all the eyes of the kids before her.

Hyo-Bin noticed her uncomfortable nature right at this moment, so, she took that into a note. "Don't worry, you can skip the speech if you want, I will just introduce you and then you can sit in your seat," she whispered to Mailee, knowing how she felt, as a child, she hated being singled out and being the center of the eyes of everyone.

Mailee couldn't help but sigh in relief, that was what she wanted to hear and what she had been praying for to happen since she knew she was coming to school. It was quite a burden lifted off her chest, and oddly enough, it was rare to find people back home to be this kind and understanding.

Hyo-Bin walked around her desk and looked at the class. "Good morning, today we have a new classmate, she just moved here from America. Her name is Son Mailee, and I expect all of you to treat her kindly and make her feel at home." She gave a smile as she looked down at Mailee. "You can sit behind Sim Yoona," she pointed to one of the girls.

Mailee sighed in relief, she hadn't been made to introduce herself in front of all these people and explain why she couldn't speak. 'Thank you Teacher Nim, for not making me introduce herself and thank you God for answering my prayer!' that thought made her feel much better and calmer than she had been.

She then recognized her as the girl she had asked for directions not even fifteen minutes ago. Now she knew her name, of course, she would wait for her to approach her first. She didn't really like approaching people first, it just wasn't how she was and the nervousness of whether they will reject you or not, it is never fun.

Yoona smiled at the girl as she passed, waving her hand shortly, before looking back at the teacher. 'So, that is the Unni I gave directions too, now I know who she is and her name.' she thought to herself, pursing her lips while focusing solely on the teacher. 'I will try and talk to her after school.' she would try and make a friend. Hopefully.

Mailee slipped into the desk, setting everything out that she needed, like all the other kids in her class had done. She had to have everything perfect and organized, and yes she may have been listening to what the teacher had said, she also hated things not being organized. She rested her hands in her lap once she was done fixing her books and notes in front of her.

Now the task of the day was to get through school, going unnoticed and having no one poke fun at her not being able to speak. It wouldn't be easy, but she was going to try to the best she could to be almost invisible, which she had no problem with. She just didn't want to look like a fool or anything like that in front of everyone, that was not her forte, nor could she deal with it at this moment in her life.

Oh how a long day it was going to be, yet it was going to be worth it in the end. No matter what happened, everything would fall into place in its own time, whether she spoke to anyone, or they approached her first. It was all in God's hands, and yes she did trust Him, she was just concerned His time, would not be her time, which was a struggle of hers.

〰♡〰

Mailee was glad the first day of school was over and even more glad she hadn't had to explain anything to anyone herself, or even speak. She thanked God for it being a smooth day, and that everything glided easily over the waters, making it a productive but also nice day for her. She hoped more days were like this one was, she could deal with being by herself, just not talking to anyone, would be a pleasure to her.

She had just opened her locker to pull some books out she could do some homework when she got home. She enjoyed homework, which wasn't too odd considering this girl liked school and poured everything into it to make up for her lack of speech. In her own eyes, it made up for the difference and people would notice her high grades and not the fact she could speak, which was a win-win for her.

That was when she felt someone standing behind her, or was it leaning against the lockers behind her? Anyone can just sense someone getting close to them, it is just most people's human nature to know when someone is close to them. It was like a lulling dark cloud feeling, like the ones you get when walking alone and you just feel someone behind you, but you hear no one and sure enough, when you look behind you, there is someone or more than one person minding their own business?

That was how she was feeling right and she was wondering why did this have to happen when she was about ready to leave to go home! It was a perfect way to burst her little easy day bubble. She would have to talk to someone, which she was 100% dreading to do. She didn't want to talk to anyone, she just wanted to go home and be in her room, getting used to the feeling of her new house.

She tried not to panic or freak out, since who knows who it could be? Maybe they didn't even want to talk to her, but was waiting for someone else by their own locker! 'Just calm down Mailee, it is going to be okay, nothing bad is going to happen.' she tried to get he thoughts to calm her down, yet once again, it failed.

Then, the voice behind Mailee spoke up, and she about freaked out, more like had a panic attack. "Hello!" the voice was quite cheerful, the way she spoke showed happiness, but also a gentle respectful nature. The girl behind her had a bright smile on her face, waiting for the girl to turn around to face her.

Mailee slowly turned around, gripping her tablet and putting on a smile, as her eyes met up with the other girl's. Her eyes widened at who it was, it was the Unni she had asked for directions and sat behind, Sim Yoona was her name. She did seem kind, and polite, but it still made her nervous. So, she gave her a smile and a wave.

Yoona placed her hands behind her back, watching her very carefully, studying her every move. "I am sorry if I startled you, I just wanted to greet the Unni who was new around here and had asked for directions, on top of sitting behind me." her voice was now soft, her smile matched her voice, growing softer by the moment. She truly didn't mean to startle her, she had a habit of being too happy.

Mailee pried her tablet away from her chest and reluctantly began to type away at the keys, something she had been begging not to have to do all day. "No, it's fine, I am always a little jumpy . . . you already know who I am, since thankfully the teacher did the introduction that I didn't have to." she had hit play after she got done, trying to relax a bit.

Yoona gave a nod, she did know who she was, however, she was going to ask her how she wanted to be addressed since it was the respectful thing to do. "May I ask, what I can call you? If you still want to go by Unni until you feel more comfortable around me, or anything, that is fine!" she was not a very easily discouraged person, she was very resilient, very outspoken and blunt, unfiltered you could say.

Mailee furrowed her eyebrows, but then recalled what her mother had told her before she had come to South Korea. She quickly typed at the keyboard, hitting play once she was done. "Mailee is just fine, it is my name, and I am really used to everyone calling me that." she knew her tablet's voice was robotic and didn't show the emotion, so, she made up for it with her expression on her face and body language. "And what should I call you?"

Yoona listened to her as she spoke, lightly gripping the handles on her backpack, before answering. "Yoona, it is nice to meet you Mailee." she was glad they were having a nice conversation, and who knows? They could become good friends. Of course, she had nothing else to say, due to the fact she was stumped on what to say.

Mailee gave her a soft smile, pulling her tablet away from her chest again, then typing away at the keys to pick back up the conversation. "It is nice to meet you too." she was glad that someone was being kind to her. Although she had wished no one had spoken to her, at least, the person she got was friendly.

"Do you wanna walk out with me?" she knew her mother was probably waiting on her, it being her first day, and not knowing her way around, if she walked home she would have gotten lost. "You don't have to if you don't want too, I understand," she added quickly, letting her tablet speak for her.

Yoona gave a soft laugh at the girl's words, she was just way too cute, this girl too pure for this world. "I would love to walk out with you, it is nice doing it with someone other than yourself, and then having to take a bus home," she replied, turning around to walk out.

Mailee smiled softly at the girl's words, oh joy did that make her feel so much better! Maybe, she would make a friend, she did know friendships took time, and maybe this was a good thing. "Thank you!" she quickly typed and then hit play, walking beside her toward the entrance of the school.

Yoona looked over at her, giving her a curt not to what she had said, or her tablet had said. "It's not a problem, I'm glad to make a friend since I have none." it was sad but true, she wasn't the best at making friends or the type of person people hung out around. So, it was normal for her to be by herself, which she knew to be quite sad.

Mailee tipped her head to the side at her words, before typing at her tablet and hitting play. "Why do you have no friends?" she quickly added on to what she had just typed after it was said. "Um, sorry, I shouldn't have asked that." she knew it wasn't right just to ask people why, there could be a lot of reasons why, and yes she was curious, she just found it wrong.

Yoona's eyes widened at her words, or the words, she realized this girl had no people skills, or at least very few due to always apologizing. "Oh no, it's fine, I am not the type people hang out with, you know, good in school, focused on success, not really making time for friends," she told her, reassuring her with a soft smile.

Mailee nodded as she listened, finding what she was saying to be understandable, to a certain extent. "I understand that I was Christian homeschooled all my life, my mom didn't want me to have a rough time in school. But since we moved here, she thought it would be good for me to spend high school years in a real school." she had hit play after typing it in, taking a little longer than she normally would.

Yoona nodded opening the door for Mailee to walk out then she would follow. "That must be a huge change, huh? Going from being homeschooled, to an actual school, busy with lots of kids, some nice, and some not so much. All schools have them, some worst than others." she mused crossing her arms and following behind Mailee.

Mailee admitted, typing her words in, then hitting play, giving her a sheepish look on her face. "It is, I am quite terrified, but I am always trying to look at the bright side and be optimistic no matter how many times I have to, to get myself to believe it." she was glad someone understood what she was going through.

Yoona nodded with a smile, before seeing Chae-Yeon, wave at Mailee to get into her care. "Well, I will see you tomorrow! It is good you are staying optimistic, that is a good thing." she lightly nudged her shoulder, before biding her goodbye and walking off, to catch the bus to ride home.

Mailee waved her goodbye before getting into her mom's car. At least the first day had gone good, everything went by slowly, however nothing bad happened. She was feeling a bit better about tomorrow, and she would have someone to sit and talk with at lunch. Maybe this was a good thing after all.

♡〰♡〰♡〰♡〰♡〰♡〰♡

A/N:
Hey guys, sorry this is a bit late, I was super busy and then life went bleh, but one more chapter and I am entering it into 2018 WATTYS! I know I may not win, but I can always hope, since I honestly would love for people to read this book and be blessed by it. I know there are hundreds of books that get entered, yet I do hope this one at least gets recognized for bringing to light a subject that is pretty much unheard of in most books.

I will be majorly editing the looks of the characters, sorry guys, I know I can do better so that is what I am gonna do. It may not be all at once, but I am gonna do my best to make it as vivid as possibly while making sense on who I come to describe them.

Chapter Talk:
Poor Mailee, I really don't think people understand what is going on and how a person feel when they are in her place. I have been in her place, and most of it is from my personal experience with freaking out over being in a crowd or entering a room full of people who I did not know.

I can agree I hate it when people tell me to just get over it and stop being a baby, it's not my fault, I have really no control over what my brain is doing. It does take time and help in order for you to break free from the bonds if your bossy mind. It isn't going to happen over night or when people want it to, it is a long process that people need to support you in.

If you haven't been in their shoes with what they are dealing with, don't blow it off as nothing, because to them, it is something. People need to be understanding oh what anxiety does to a person who has it, it is no walk in the park and people most the time don't fake it, I don't, I would do anything for it to go away so I can be a normal person.

Now, moving on, Mailee connected with the girl who she had asked for directions, or at least had a small conversation with her. And we finally got to know who she is and what her name is! She is one of the major character rolls that plays a huge part in this book, but more on her later.

Questions:
Have you ever had a moment like Mailee, entering a room, things like that?
It happens to me all the time, it's not fun, I honestly hate it. However it is who I am, so, there isn't much I cam do to change it. It takes a long process and time, for me anyways.

And lastly, anything else I forgot ask away my pals. I am happy to answer anything!

In closing, all rude, impolite and mean comments will be replied to in a diplomatic way, reported or deleted if I feel like it is attacking me personally.

Thanks for reading!