بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

Dedicated to  Saudah01

"Brother's little princess wake up", my brother whispered softly in my ear. I could feel his breath on my neck. I pushed him off the bed and pulled my covers over me. "Haha,She is my baby that's why she's not listening to you!",my beautiful yet elegant mother laughed. I ignored them both and tried to sleep. "Wake up MY baby",my father said emphasising on "my". Before I could pull my covers over me my brother crept in next to me and started tickling me. "Stop, I'm up, I'm up", I yelled. "Who's princess you are, tell me?",he asked teasingly while continuing to tickle me. "Yours , I'm your princess", I told him in-between my fits of laughter. "Then be happy my princess",he said while looking at me with an intense gaze and his usual grin. I looked at my parents and they nodded at me indicating for me to listen to what my brother had said. "Smile,my princess Umaira."

I woke up quickly with my heartbeat in my head. Tears rolled down my soft cheeks as I realised it was only a dream. It's 4:00 am in the morning and my head was throbbing as if it were to burst any moment. I threw my alarm clock over to where it crashed into my closet and landed with a thud on the floor. It didn't want to stop beeping even after I pressed the button for it to shut up.

Candyfloss meowed at me softly . I sighed and took him in my arms. I gave him some food while I went to the bathroom to make wudhu for fajr salaah. I quickly put on an abayaa to cover my legs since I was wearing shorts. I read some Quraan after that and kept pondering over my dream.

It's been 1 year,3 months,3 days and exactly 2 hours since there are no more. I still can't get over the fact that they are all gone. They all left me alone in this world.

****

We were all excited since my elder brother was taking me out for a surprise. My parents helped him plan all this and I had no clue whatsoever about where we were going. All I knew was that it was a surprise. Really helpful hey?

As we hit the road I gave up trying to get information out of them as to where we were going. I sighed and looked out the window. My parents were in the front. My father driving and my mother in the passenger seat. My brother was in the back seat next to me . He grinned at me even more sheepishly because he knew I didn't get anything out of my parents about this "surprise". I growled under my breath and rolled my eyes at him. He burst out in laughter while throwing his head back . I ignored him as my parents started to chuckle softly as well. My check was cold against the window as it started to pour. I looked at the buildings that passed by and how the clouds slowly turned a deeper more angrier gray.

I tried making out where we were going my looking at the signs that passed by, but unfortunately I couldn't figure out anything. We were now currently stuck in traffic on a bridge. The traffic grew more wild since the clouds growled angrier and the storm grew thicker. It poured down hard with the wind strongly howling . We all read our du'aas for when it rains. I jumped at the sudden sound of cracking thunder. My brother came close to me and held me tight. I buried my face in his chest and blocked out the sound.

I focused on his heart beat to calm me down. Me and my brother were really close. He would always come to my rescue whenever I needed him . We knew each other so well we didn't have to ask one another to know if we weren't ok.

Sudden screams and crashes filled my ears as I slowly moved from my brother. As I opened my eyes I saw us plunging into the cold, dark water below the bridge. The water pulled us in with its strong ice arms making us go deeper and deeper. We all struggled trying to open the doors but it was to no avail. My father and brother tried with all their might , I felt a tear swimming away into the water. I knew no one would see it .

I was wrong. My mother touched my father's and brother's arm making them look towards me . I should have known. My mother. My dearest mother always knew what I was feeling and understood  me without asking  .

All of us held onto each other ,knowing we were all going to meet with our Lord. We all smiled at each other knowing what was to come. My brother squeezed me tightly and left a soft kiss on my forehead before I could slip away to oblivion. My last thoughts before the darkness consumed me was we all would meet in Jannah( paradise) In Shaa Allah ( if god wills).

A bright light hit my eyes and I was scared to open them. Was I in Jannah?? That thought was quickly erased out of my mind when I heard the doctor introducing herself. " My parents, where are my parents?" ..."My brother,where is he?" I demanded answers. The nurses quickly looked at the doctor who slightly nodded her head at them. Her answer struck my heart like a saw ripping through it. Thorns pricked my heart and eyes as I burst into tears and went mad. Her answer,those words will always prick my heart,"I am really sorry, but they all are gone."

My life changed rapidly after that. My life was complete darkness just like the water that consumed them. My life became the night that took them all.

I wiped the tears that flowed down like a smooth flowing waterfall. Candyfloss rubbed against my bare knee ticking me. I smiled at him and squished him before he could run away with his fluffy fat paws. He meowed at me angrily for squishing him. I chuckled and let him go before he scratches me.

I grabbed my musalaah and laid it down neatly with a gentle swift. This musalaah was my favorite. It was a gift from my brother who gave it to me when I was really stressed and always sad and worried when I was in matric(senior year). Whenever I thought of him I would hug the musalaah tightly and then go pray on it,crying to my lord. That is exactly what I done now. I prayed and cried to my lord. No one else was left behind for me to cry to. I prayed for them and read some Surah Yaseens to calm my heart and grant them the reward of it.

Approximately two years back I moved in here with Candyfloss. At that time Uncle Umar and Aunty Khadijah knew nothing. But eventually I told them everything. I had to tell them since I wake up screaming sometimes and during storms I am a complete mess.

Yesterday Uncle Umar had suggested that I move in with them so I can focus on my studies. We talked about that and my family, that is no more. He wants me to be a part of their family. He said that I could say I was his daughter or sister if anyone asked. I couldn't do that. I couldn't live with another family. I wouldn't betray my own. I know his just worried about me living on my own and paying for everything. He even offered to pay for my studies. I know I'm struggling a lot , but I just can't accept it. Especially not since he has the same name as my brother. Both Aunty Khadijah and Uncle Umar don't know the names of my parents or brother and they have never pressurised me in telling them.

"Ya Allah help in making the right decision. Help me through my complete disastrous life. Please let them understand my feelings and choice. Don't let them be hurt by my choice." I prayed to my lord for guidance. Uncle Umar had suggested that I make istikhaarah and I did. All I have to do is wait for an answer.

But one thing is certain, no one will ever replace my family, no one will take the place of my dearest parents or my handsome brother. No one...

*Hands over some candyfloss and tissues*

As salamu alaikum guys

How are you all?
Hope you all are enjoying the book.
 

Candyfloss: meow meow meeeoow
* Candyfloss is asking for some love , and who can deny a cute little fuzz ball! So go light up that star bellow!*

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