Chapter 2

Pleased to be standing in front of my building. I made my way to the door and got my keys to enter.

Once inside and I pressed the elevator button to go up. Lisa and I lived on the 8th floor and I didn't want to walk up all those stairs today. Talking with Emily had drained me.

I got in the elevator and pressed the button for my floor, as the doors were about to close a woman got on. I looked at her and she was dressed like she was going to work instead of going home.

Maybe she's visiting, I thought.

She was very well dressed and probably in her mid 30s. I breathed in and that's when her scent invaded my nostrils.

Damn! This chick must have put the whole bottle of perfume on her, I though.

I slowly raised my hand without being to obvious and plugged my nose. The rest of my hand was covering my mouth. She was standing a bit ahead of me, while I had my back against the elevator wall.

When she turned around to look at me, she paused then frowned.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Oh crap! Think! Think of something good and not, yeah lady you just sink.

"Um." I didn't want to move my hand, I was positive the stench would give me a massive headache. "Yeah...bad cold, it's like I'm going to sneeze... Usually people don't like to share colds." I said. With my nose plugged, my voice changed a bit making me hope that it was convincing enough. I moved my hand to the side and gave her a small smile.

I heard the ding of the elevator and the door opened but it wasn't my floor.

"I hope you feel better." She said smiling.

"Thanks."

She got off the elevator and the doors closed again.

I took my hand away to sniffed the air, like a dog would, but it still smelled like her cheap perfume so my hand went back to plug my nose and cover my mouth.

When the doors finally opened on my floor, I quickly got out of the elevator and took a deep breath.

Man that stunk. I should have taken the stairs.

I smiled when I saw our door, the numbers 845 meant I was home.

I grabbed my keys again and opened our front door.

I got in and put down my purse, hanged my keys up and took off my jacket.

"Amanda?" I heard Lisa yell out.

"No, I'm a burglar. I'm here to steal all your stuff." I said, being sarcastic.

She turned the corner, coming out of the living room.

"That's not funny."

I laughed, "Sort of is. Except burglars wouldn't say that and they'd be very quiet. Like a ninja...I hope." I said, giving her my best ninja pose and smiling my innocent smile.

She rolled her eyes and I laughed.

"Your mom called last night to remind you about your appointment today. You didn't miss it right? I called your cell..." She was saying.

"I turned it off. It interrupts me when I'm trying to ignore it." I said laughing.

"Well call your mom." Lisa ordered.

"Yeah I will, after my nap."

"If you don't do it now, you'll probably forget." She said.

I let out a groan of frustration and looked at her.

"I feel like I have two mothers." I told her with my hands on my hips.

"Well...count yourself lucky. Now and then I wonder how old you are."

I rolled my eyes.

"Are you working today?" She asked as she put on her shoes and a jacket.

"Yeah, I start at 3."

"Well, I'll see you later." She said smiling and I nodded my head.

I heard her close the door and I walked towards it. I always made sure the doors were locked. It freaked me out if I was in the apartment and realized the door was unlocked. Something my mother and I had in common.

I grabbed my cell and made my way to the living room to call my mother. My parents were usually home since they didn't work on the weekends.

I want a job like that, I thought to myself.

"Hello?" I heard my dad's voice.

"Hi dad, how are you?" I asked.

"Amanda! Hi, we were wondering about you?" He said.

"Why?" I asked a bit confused.

"Well, your mom was nervous you were going to miss your appointment. You know how she is. All she does is worry."

"I know, you can tell her no I didn't miss it so she can stop worrying about it." I said to him.

"How is it going? I mean with Emily." He asked.

"It's fine. She gave me homework, again. She told me to find a new friend, that I don't have enough of them." I said while rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

"Well, one more doesn't hurt honey."

"Yeah, it's just...I don't know." I said, being nervous just thinking about it.

"Trusting someone is the hardest thing to do, but you can do it. You're a good judge of character. You take no bull from anyone and you say it like it is. You need a friend who can cherish that part of you and also challenge you at the same time." He said.

"You make it sound so easy. Who in their right mind is going to understand me? I don't even understand myself." I asked him.

"You don't need someone to understand you. Look at your mother and I. You both lived something I can't begin to understand. I listen, that's all I can do. I can try to understand but not having lived it, people can't begin to imagine how it was. But you are right, it may sound easy but it's not and it won't be. I won't lie to you and give you a fairy tale like the movies you watched when you were younger, but everything and everyone has to start somewhere." He said.

"Thanks dad."

I always got along with my dad. He didn't like to lie and with our father-daughter relationship, we didn't, even when we didn't like the answer.

My mom and I were close but she hovered most of the time. She wasn't like that with my brothers, just with me which was why it frustrated me more.

"Honey, your mom wants to talk to you. I love you and I'll see you soon. Oh! You should be due for an oil change soon, check the paper in the car. Call me and you can bring your car to the garage." He said.

"Okay, sounds good dad. Bye." I said then waited for my mom.

"Hey honey!" She said, sounding excited.

"Hey mom."

"I heard you made your appointment. That's good."

"You, Emily and Lisa sound so much alike." I said getting annoyed.

"We're just trying to help."

"I know. I'm just tired. Sorry, I don't mean to be short fused." I said.

"Are you sleeping okay?"

"Yeah, I have nightmares now and then but it's fine. My problem is more falling asleep." I answered.

"Are you still having those flashbacks?" She asked.

"Yeah but it's fine. No need to worry, they're not that bad." I lied.

"I'm here anytime you want to talk. I hope you know that."

"I know mom. Thanks." I said smiling a bit.

"Are you coming over for dinner soon? Only God knows what you've been eating at the diner during your shifts." She asked and laughed.

One thing I loved about my mom, she knew when to change the subject. She asked a lot of questions but when she knew I had enough, she'd change the subject and I knew the interrogation was over.

"Mom, the food at work isn't that good so it's rare that I eat there. I'll call you back in a few days to let you know when I'll be home."

"Sounds good honey." I heard her laugh. "Okay, your father is telling me to let you go. He doesn't want me to bug you anymore." She said still laughing.

"Thanks mom. I'll call you soon."

"Okay baby. I love you and take good care of yourself." She said.

"Yeah, you too. Bye."

"Bye... I do not sound like my mother!" I heard her say before the line went dead.

I laughed knowing she was talking to my dad.

Even after all this time, they had a good marriage. My father was right, he didn't need to understand what happened a long time ago, he just needed to listen and try to imagine. Even if it was much worse than he thought.

Lisa had left the TV on but it was on mute. I turned off and went to my room.

I took off my jeans and left them on the floor. I got in bed with the rest of my clothes, I didn't care and I just wanted to sleep.

When my head hit the pillow and I closed my eyes, all I could see were those dark eyes coming towards me. I opened my eyes and turned on my back and starred at the ceiling. I hated those eyes.

I hated remembering. I hated everything of back then, I could remember how he was crawling closer to me and something shiny caught my attention. He was trying to get it so I picked it up. He kept coming closer and closer with his hand trying to reach for what I had just picked up. This big bang came from this shiny thing that looked somewhat like a toy. I remember the pain it gave me to my stomach. When the gun fired, my hands jerked back hitting my stomach and my back hit the wall, I still don't remember pulling the trigger but since I was the only one holding the gun, there wasn't another option.

I hated remembering but also, I hated not knowing. I had so many questions that I didn't have answers for, or simply, my memories didn't make sense. How didn't I get a lot of blood on me? The cops or the hospital didn't see anything.

When I started to remember big things, I went straight to my mom and I asked her questions hoping it would help me. Some times it did, other times it just made me feel worse. Making her remember, relive those memories. She'd cry a lot and I was just upsetting her with all my questions. That's when I started to keep things more to myself and bring it up in therapy.

I don't know why I remembered. Most people don't remember themselves being that young. I asked myself so many times, how could I remember and why so many details?

Most things I remembered, my parents didn't know and I didn't want to tell them, even if they were horrible little flashes.

I checked the time and I had a little more than 3 hours before I needed to be at work. I wanted to take a nap but I needed to take a shower too.

I heard my cell phone ring but I had left it in the living room and the last thing I wanted to do was to get up. When the ringing finally stopped, I smiled and closed my eyes again.

As I drifted off to sleep I could heard my phone beeping letting me know I had a new message. I had a feeling it was Blake but he would just have to wait.

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***I hope you liked the 2nd chapter. Until next Tuesday! Have a great weekend! xx

P.S. I have a feeling everyone will like Blake. I know I do. lol. Night!