I'm sorry, I know I'm being depressing lately, but I honestly don't care. This year sucks. I can't wait for January 1st because this year will finally be over. If your curious, last night one of my 2 rats died. I have 2 rats, Glory (nickname: Glowbug), the Himalayan Dumbo Rat (white rat with huge round ears on the side of her head), and Fantasy (Nickname: Fan Fan), a hooded fancy rat (regular looking rat, front half black with black stripe down back and white rear end). Fan Fan died last night. I came home and she was lying on her side in her cage. She wasn't moving, blinking, anything. I thought she was dead but when I picked her up and checked, she still had a heartbeat. We tried to take her to the emergency vet, but we were too late. She died in my arms. I felt her death rattle. I miss her so much, it doesn't feel real. We buried her beneath the tulip tree in my dad's yard in a box of cage bedding with a flower, then we placed a cement stone over her grave so nothing disturbed her.

Also, today, I went to the doctor for my hands which have been shaking severely lately, and a slight tick I've been getting since forever, just like that hands shaking. My doctor seemed worried. So, I got my blood drawn for the first time ever, and I was freaking out. I know I'm a chicken, but I hate things being in me. I'm the girl who cried because she got a tick in her foot and it had its head was buried in her skin. I don't do blood, watch surgery, and will, despite what everyone says, never be a physical doctor. Ever. Oh, I also have to go see a neurologist and get blood work back in week. They are clearly worried. Yay.

So, this last part of the year has sucked. I was in a car crash, one of my friends committed suicide, my rat died, my dog may be sick, I might fail algebra, and I could have something wrong with me. I am so done with this year. I'm feeling very pessimistic. And kind of like I want to punch something. Or cry. Maybe both.

Oh, and I accidentally cussed in front of the nurse doing my blood drawing.

Don't you love life?

Sorry, don't get any wrong ideas, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I just want to curl up in my bed for a month or two.

Peace out, I hope your years been better than mind.

Allons-y,

-Crimson