A/n: Fuck it. This time I don't have any excuse other than the fact that I was lazy and I didn't write. I'm so sorry, guys. I swear I'll update on time from on. I'm SORRY!!

QUICK RECAP: Sam regains all his memories and their relationship goes back to normal but Dan's friend Luke makes an appearance and a bunch of shit happens which causes Dan to watch Sam's horrible video. He's devastated after knowing what happened to Sam but he still loves him. Then a lot more shit happens and Sam finds out that Dan knows everything that happened to him. Dan expects Sam to get angry but he doesn't, instead he's just scared of Dan hating him and leaving him after seeing the video. Now continued.... (look I know I'm shit at recaps OK I'm sorry for fucks sake I'm dumb it's not my fault)

SAM'S POV

"Did you talk to your parents?" The middle aged man in front of me, Dr. Hoffman, asked calmly.

I nodded, feeling calmer than I had in a long time. Usually when I was here, I used to constantly glance at the clock and count down the minutes until I could stand up and storm off, but now I felt like I wanted be here, discussing things that needed to be addressed.

Losing my memories and my mind being transported back to a time when I had nothing but my weak self esteem should've been a set back to my recovery but it wasn't. Instead it made me realise how much I had changed after meeting Dan and how I can't, won't, go back to pushing everyone away and enduring it all alone again.

The loss of memory for a few weeks reminded me of how lonely and alone I used to be, how miserable I used to feel each night I woke up heaving and panting, feeling terrified of a nightmare that constantly lived inside my head. But now I don't have to worry about that anymore. The moment I got back my memories, what I felt was relief, relief that I was okay, I could be happy, if I chose to be. I had people that cared about me, I had Dan and he loved me. I had someone who loved me. I felt grateful and content knowing that the loneliness and emptiness I had felt before meeting Dan was something I won't have to go through ever again.

"What did you tell them?" He asked again, his gaze steady as he looked at me, rolling his blue pen in his hands.

I exhaled slowly through my nose, dropping my gaze to the floor. "I apologized."

Dr. Hoffman frowned, "Sam, we've talked about this. You-"

"No, I didn't apologize for what happened. It...it wasn't my fault, I know." I felt my hands slightly tremble as I laced them together. "I just..I apologized for treating them badly for all these years."

He blinked in surprise and then nodded encouragingly. "Good. That's good." He smiled. "How did they react?"

"Mum cried." I shrugged, "And then they both apologized for neglecting me."

He nodded thoughtfully and looked at me sharply. "Do you blame them?"

My stomach clenched and I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I used to." I replied honestly, my voice shaking just a little. 

He stared at me contemplatively for a few moments before nodding and scrawling something across the notebook open on the table in front of him. "And what about now?"

My hands tightened into fists and I bit my lip. I knew what my answer to that question was but I felt hesitation bubbling inside me. I always knew it wasn't their fault deep down and I only blamed them because I occasionally needed someone other than myself to blame. They did neglect me. They left me alone in our large empty house with nothing but my stuffed toys. I had been alone, without love, for so long that I fell into his trap and believed every lie he fed me. My parents should've been there for me, no matter how busy they were. This one thought made me stop myself before I agreed that it wasn't their fault.

Dr. Hoffman seemed to notice my dilemma as he sighed and looked at me seriously. "This is not something that I usually do," He said, "But for just a minute, I'm going to stop being your therapist and talk as a friend instead."

I looked up at him in confusion and he sighed, taking off his glasses and wiping them. "Humans make mistakes and it's okay. Some of those mistakes are completely accidental and I think that's what happened to your parents. They should've taken care of you and been there for you but they had no way to know that not doing so would have such disastrous consequences. They made a mistake, I admit, but don't blame them, or yourself. Forgiveness is the answer. Forgive them for yourself, not them."

I blinked several times and stared at him, thinking what he had said over and over in my mind. After a while, I felt a strange calmness spreading over my chest and I realised that somewhere inside I always knew it. I knew all of it and maybe I had already forgiven them.

He finished wiping his glasses and put them back on, taking his pen back into his hands and putting on the professional mask. "How's Dan?" He asked. "How is your relationship after the temporary memory loss?"

I frowned at the abrupt subject change but restrained from saying anything. "It's okay." I said quietly, remembering how Dan had found out everything. He had watched the video. The video that humiliated me and haunted me for years. It had been just two days since he had found out and he hadn't mentioned it again but I could notice subtle changes in our relationship. It was just small things but I couldn't help but notice them. I felt like he was being somewhat distant and forlorn but I was too scared to ask him about it.

"He knows everything." I whispered silently, fumbling with the cuffs of my shirt.

Dr. Hoffman's eyes slightly widened and he looked at me cautiously. "You told him?"

I shrugged, a lump forming in my throat as I whispered, "No, he just found out."

He stared at me for a second and scribbled something down before looking up at me. "And? How did he react?"

I breathed shakily and looked away. I didn't want to talk about it and I didn't want to think about it. Dan had been acting like nothing happened and even though I couldn't take that either, it was enough. If he held me and hugged me, I could just close my eyes and forget all about these unpleasant things, pretend like everything was completely fine.

But it wasn't and l knew it. Dan was acting strange. He won't look me in the eye, he won't touch me. He smiled but it never reached his eyes. He was cautious around me, like I was a piece of paper that might tear apart any second. He won't kiss me or try to do anything with me like he used to and it terrified me. Maybe he thought I was too disgusting, after what he had seen, what he had heard. Who would want to be with someone like me? Maybe after seeing that video he felt disgusted to touch me, touch the body that was used and thrown.

Maybe he didn't want to be with me because I was second hand.

"Sam," Dr. Hoffman said calmly, giving me a knowing sad look. "Did he react badly?"

I fidgeted with my shirt sleeve and glanced at the clock ticking on the wall, tapping my fingernails against the chair impatiently and wishing for the first time in a long time that the clock hands would move a little faster.

"Sam." He urged again and my taps on the chair stopped abruptly.

I sighed, "No."

"What happened?" He asked gently as if talking to a small child.

I dropped my gaze to the floor. "He... he cried." I began slowly, "At first anyway. And then he...he just- he's been distant and he's acting weird about the whole thing."

"Hmm," He nodded and wrote something down before looking up at me. "Maybe he needs some time to get to terms with it. It's not something that someone can just forget. Judging by the way you always describe him, he seems like a nice guy. Give him some time."

I nodded and decided to stay quiet. This was not something I wanted to discuss with him. This was something between me and Dan and no one else. But Dr. Hoffman was persistent and the next question he asked caught me off guard.

"How do you feel about Dan knowing everything?" He asked, twirling the blue pen in his hand. I stared at the pen for several minutes before my attention flickered from the pen to the clock. Five more minutes.

"I... " I swallowed the lump in my throat and fumbled with my hands, wringing them nervously. His gaze snapped down to my fidgety fingers before looking up to my face. I looked away. "I don't know."

"Does it bother you?"

"I just..." I shuffled my feet, gaze flickering to the clock again. "I just don't want him to h-hate me."

"Do you think he'll hate you?" He asked, his eyes scanning my face.

Even the thought of it sent a sharp pang to my chest and I laced my fingers together to stop myself from fidgeting. "I d-don't know."

"Sam, we've talked about this." Dr. Hoffman sighed and wrote something down before looking up at me. "Do you think you deserve to be hated?" He asked, giving me a sharp look.

I swallowed, staring at the floor for several slow moments. We had been over this dozens of times and my answer had always been yes but this time my tongue refused to work, denied to fold in and form the word. Everything that had happened in the past month, losing my memories, Dan finding out the truth, it all made me realize how deeply sad I used to be before, how much control he, the monster who made me this way, had over me. But I don't want to be cold anymore. I want to be able to snuggle up and sleep wrapped in warmth.

My heart pounded in my chest as I realized the truth in me and I looked up and met his eyes. This time there was no hesitation in my voice. In fact, it almost sounded confident. "I don't want to be hated by him. I just, I don't wanted to be... alone anymore. I...I.." My voice cracked and my eyes filled with tears, "I just want to be happy. For me. For him too, I guess."

It took a few minutes for me to compose myself again. I swallowed and blinked back tears. When I looked up at Dr. Hoffman again, he had an encouraging smile on his face. "Good," He said.

I didn't smile back but I did glance at the clock and sigh in relief. Time was up. The session was over.

-------

I jumped into Dan's room late in the evening like always to find him lounging on the bed with Luke, laughing quietly about something they saw on the laptop open on Dan's hips. I instantly felt a twinge in my chest when I noticed the way Dan looked, carefree and relaxed, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. It took my breath away but also made me feel guilty and depressed. He was never relaxed or lazy around me. He was always cautious and worried, like he was just waiting to console me when I inevitably exploded.

It was Luke who finally noticed me standing near the window. He smiled at me and waved, and although I couldn't return the enthusiastic smile, I appreciated it all the same. In the three days that I had known him, he seemed to be a pretty jolly guy. He was always cracking jokes or laughing and I couldn't find anything bad about his personality or behavior no matter how hard I tried. He was just a naturally jovial guy.

I broke out of my thoughts and turned to Dan just in time to notice his smile fall off his face. A concerned expression took over his face and he tentatively smiled, waving me over. My heart instantly dropped at the weird reaction and I shuffled my feet. "Um... maybe I should go." I said quickly, glancing at Luke. Maybe Dan didn't want me here.

Dan's worried expression morphed into one of extremely troubled. "No, come here." He said, patting the empty space next to him.

He refused to look me in the eye and I wondered if it was because of the video. There was no other explanation to this behavior. He had been acting weird ever since and I was terrified of him hating me.

I stood rooted to the spot, staring at the floor. There was an awkward tension in the air and Dan still wasn't looking at me. He was staring pointedly at the screen of his laptop and my heart sank. Usually he would stand up and kiss me excitedly with a large smile on his face, pulling me to the bed and then forcing me to sit on his lap.

Tears filled my eyes and I stared at my feet quietly. I saw Luke glancing between the two of us in concern and suddenly I felt like an intruder. Dan probably didn't want me here. He was having fun with his best friend and maybe I was being a burden on him. Maybe he didn't want me at all. Why would he want me after watching that video? After knowing how weak I was, why would he want me?

"I'm going to a party with Erika, I should go and get ready," Luke said exaggeratedly, clamping his hands together and getting up. "I'll see you two later!" He gave us a mock salute and walked almost robotically to the door, looking awkward as he stumbled out hastily, leaving us in tense silence.

My heart was sinking deep into my stomach the longer I stood there and Dan didn't look at me, and I couldn't control the tears that spilled out. "Do you.... do you h-hate me?" I asked the one thing I feared the most and squeezed my eyes shut, terrified of what the answer would be.

Dan bit his lip and sighed, closing the laptop and standing up silently. He walked towards me and reached a hand forward, hesitating a little before placing it on top of my head. "Of course not, doll. I love you," He said softly, ruffling my hair and then smoothing it out again. But it wasn't enough for me. He was being distant and both of us knew it. He hesitated before touching me and he didn't kiss me like he always did. Something was not right.

I stared at my toes silently, my hands clasped together behind my back. I was scared to look up and see disgust in those beautiful eyes but I knew I had to. I had to confront whatever this was. I wanted him, I needed him to love me, I needed him like the air to breathe.

After what felt like hours, I collected whatever courage I had left and looked up timidly, meeting unfocused green eyes. He wasn't looking at me, not directly into my eyes anyway. He was staring somewhere between my eyebrows and it made my heart drop even more. Tentatively I asked, "Is...is something w-wrong?"

He furrowed his eyebrows but his face was guilty as he said, "No."

I breathed shakily and brought a hand up to his face, placing it gently on his cheek as I analysed his face with wide, desperate eyes. "R-really?"

He swallowed, "Yeah."

His reaction only made me panic internally. He wasn't being his usual self and I couldn't understand what to do. With a sinking heart, I leaned forward and pressed my lips softly against his, kissing him gently. My insides turned to mush and a warm feeling embraced me as I felt the soft press of his lips against mine. It was comforting, everything about him was comforting.

But this time the comfort didn't last. Dan was unusually rigid and he stiffly kissed back for a while but after some time he slightly pushed my shoulders and turned his head so I ended up kissing his cheek instead. "Maybe.. maybe we shouldn't." He said nervously.

My heart twisted and my stomach clenched painfully. I pulled back completely and turned away, tears threatening to spill from my eyes as I started walking towards the window to leave. My heart was in pieces and my chest ached. I felt like my world was crumbling down for the second time in my life and this time I truly didn't have anything left to live for. Dan didn't love me. He was disgusted with me, disgusted with my used, dirty body. No one loved me. Why was I still here? Why-

Suddenly Dan grabbed my wrist and pulled me back harshly, my back colliding with his chest as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He held me tightly and that was when I realized that I was making low sobbing noises. "Hey. It's alright, doll." He whispered, "It's okay. I love you. That's not what I meant."

"I'm s-sorry," I sniffed, not knowing what I was sorry for but wanting him to know that I was sorry nonetheless, for whatever it was that I did.

His hands tightened around my waist and then he turned me around, tilting my chin up with two fingers and kissing me deeply. I melted into it, clinging to him desperately and drinking it in. 

"I'm sorry." Dan whispered when he pulled back. "I just.. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

I looked up at him in confusion and sniffed, "Uncomfortable?"

"Yeah, I- I just," He swallowed. "I'm scared. I don't want to do something that you don't want me to." He cupped my cheeks and looked directly into my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm scared of hurting you."

I blinked, my eyes filling with tears again. I knew what he was implying and it hurt me like a deep wound. I knew I wasn't perfect and somewhere inside, I knew he was just looking out for me but I didn't want him to treat me like I was going to break any moment.

"I- I know you won't hurt me," I said slowly. "I'm not scared of you."

He smiled. "I know, doll."

In a moment of vulnerability I blurted, "You don't even k-kiss me anymore unless I do it first."

Dan's eyes softened, "Like I said, I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I don't mind." I whispered and leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his lips.

"I know," Dan repeated, eyes dropping down to my mouth as he stroked my bottom lip with his thumb. "I just, I think you're beautiful, Sam and sometimes I just want to- " He stopped and looked up into my eyes, "I don't want to kiss you only for it to escalate into something that you don't want. I don't want to scare you or make you feel.. unsafe."

"But I don't feel unsafe with you." I said stubbornly. "I really d-don't. Be-before you used to- to try to take things further and I talked to Dr. Hoffman and I think- if you want- I don't mind that either, I.... I trust you. It's okay if you want to...want it to escalate into something else."

That was a lie. Dr. Hoffman had said to wait until I was sure I was ready, but I didn't want to wait. I just wanted to get it over with. I had seen the way Dan looked at me sometimes, pure lust in his eyes. I didn't want to disappoint him anymore. I wanted to get better quickly, I wanted to recover and be good enough for him. I wanted him to want me.

Dan shook his head sadly as he let go of me completely and walked towards the bed. "I don't think that's a good idea. Not yet, Sam. I don't think you're ready."

My insecurities were rising to the surface again and my heart dropped down to my knees. What if he was saying this because he didn't want me? What if he thought I was disgusting? Maybe he didn't want me.

"I am," I said desperately. I didn't even know what I was saying anymore. I wanted him to touch me, tell me he wanted me. I couldn't understand why he was denying me this one comfort. Didn't he like me? Didn't he love me? Why didn't he want me? "I'm ready. I'm ready right now if.. if you want."

Dan looked at me steadily for several minutes and then he sighed, "You're not, Sam."

"I am," I said over the lump in my throat. Why? Why didn't he want me? Did he think everything that he saw in the video was my fault? Was it my fault? Was Dr. Hoffman lying to me? It was my fault? "Please. I am. I'm ready."

"Doll, it's okay. You don't have to push yourself." He said gently.

"No. Why?" I sniffed. "Is it because of my s-scars?"

Dan's eyes widened and he blinked, "Of course not!"

"B-because of- of the video?"

I watched Dan as he looked away guiltily at that, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed painfully and shook his head. "No, doll. Please stop overthinking. I love you, okay? I'll never stop loving you no matter what."

I wasn't even listening anymore. He looked guilty. Why did he look guilty? Did he change his mind about me after watching that video? Did he decide to end things with me? Was that why he looked guilty? A million questions and fears flooded my head and I suddenly found it hard to breathe. He was leaving me, I knew it. He was breaking up with me. He thought I was dirty and disgusting and blind panic and hurt filled me.

"Then why?!" I shouted, my heart beating fast and tears rolling down my cheeks. "I'm telling you I'm ready and you're not listening to me! I told you I want to but you just- you- why?! Why don't you want to? Why don't you want me? Am I- am I dirty? Disgusting? Used? Is that why? Is that why you-" I was half sobbing now and I stopped abruptly, throat too tight to utter another sound.

Dan looked devastated by my words and he stared at me sadly with a pained look in his eyes for several moments. I wiped my eyes and sniffed, crying quietly into my hands. Finally he whispered, "Okay."

I sniffed and looked up to see his determined expression.

Dan sighed and looked at me steadily, "I love you." He repeated softly. "I'll do anything for you. If this is what you really want, if you're absolutely sure you're ready, then I have no reason to reject you. I've been waiting for this for a long time, I was waiting for you. You can't see it but I think you're beautiful and smart and amazing, Sam and I wanted you to be ready, because I love you."

A lump grew in my throat at his words and I sniffed, walking towards him and collapsing into his open arms. He stroked my hair and murmured soothing words as he placed a kiss on top of my head.

"Shh, it's okay, doll." He whispered.

I hiccupped and sniffed into his shoulder, "I want to." I repeated, "Please."

"Okay," He murmured, "Whatever you want, I'll do it."

I wanted to cry some more at that, feeling scared and insecure that maybe he was just agreeing because he pitied me. Maybe he didn't want me. But he didn't allow that thought process to continue as he kissed the top of my head again and whispered, "I love you and I've wanted to do this for some time now."

I nodded hesitantly and took a few deep breaths to compose myself, wiping my eyes. He patiently waited for me, stroking my hair gently. I could feel a little bit of fear emerging inside me, fear that he might not stop when I tell him to or he might not hear the word 'no' or what if he forced me to do something that I didn't want? What if he tied me up and gagged me? What if no one came to help me?  What if-

"It's okay. We don't have to do anything you don't want to." He said softly and I blinked in shock, suddenly remembering that this was Dan, not him. This was Dan and he won't hurt me. I reminded that to myself again and again, taking deep breaths and bracing myself for what was to come.

After I had calmed down considerably, he made me look at him, cupping my cheeks and searching my eyes for hesitation. "Are you absolutely sure?"

I didn't hesitate, merely shivered as I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his in reply. My eyes fluttered closed automatically as he kissed me back and licked the outline of my lower lip, asking for entrance. I opened my mouth willingly, letting him slowly, cautiously, explore my mouth.

He kissed me tenderly, cradling my jaw gently with both hands and deepening the kiss, making me let out a pleased sound as he sucked on my tongue. It was gentle and reassuring and I instantly knew that I had made the right decision.

He kissed me like he talked to me, sweet lips wrapping me in warmth and making me feel safe and loved. His teeth slowly pulled my lower lip and nibbled, making me feel hot in certain places. Hot flush crept up my neck and onto my cheeks, his thumb stroking the skin as he discovered my mouth all over again, tongue tracing every line, every corner, making me gasp and shiver. My fingers latched onto him tightly as he sucked my tongue into his mouth and I let out a soft moan, gasping for breath.

We pulled back for oxygen eventually and he scanned my face again for any sigh of discomfort. We were both slightly panting and out of breath and he trailed his hands from my cheek down to my neck and collarbone, leaving goosebumps on my skin. I was straddling his hips and I could feel myself getting hard slowly, the heat from his hips encouraging it.

Dan looked at me suddenly, his eyes searching and questioning as he pulled my shirt collar slightly. I nodded in permission, my heart leaping into my throat as he smiled warmly and connected our lips again, this time harder and a little bit more urgent than before. He hooked his fingers under the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, quickly pressing our lips together again.

Dan nibbled on my bottom lip and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he trailed small kisses down my jaw, peppering my chest with kisses as I moaned lowly.

Everything was going better than I expected and I wondered subconsciously what Dr. Hoffman was talking about when he said I would have flashbacks the first time. I knew it was Dan and no one else and I trusted him. I knew Dan would never do anything I didn't want. In return, I wanted to make him feel good, I wanted to be worthy of him, I wanted to give him what he wanted.

It took me by surprise when Dan closed his mouth around my nipple, sucking it lightly into the wet heat of his mouth. "Uhhhhh." I moaned, my fingers clenching and unclenching behind his neck as I unconsciously thrust my groin against his legs, panting heavily.

It urged Dan on and he looked up, capturing my mouth into a deep, hard, desperate kiss as he pulled my legs roughly forward and forced me to sit on top of his crotch, my erection pressed against his stomach. I let out another moan at that and Dan kissed me roughly, my fingers twisting into the hair at the back of his head.

Dan panted and tightened his hands on my hips, kissing me hard as he unconsciously thrust upwards into my ass, letting out a groan as his hard member was pressed tightly into the creak of my ass.

I gasped loudly, shocked and taken completely by surprise, all comfort and thoughts of Dan flying from my mind. At first it started as a terrified feeling in the pit of my stomach and a choking feeling in my throat that he wasn't going to stop. He was never going to stop, even if I told him to. He was going to hurt me and I knew it. He was touching me because I seduced him and now he was hard and it was my fault and he was going to punish me. He was going to hurt me. I felt my chest heaving up and down as I panted in utter fear.

And suddenly it wasn't Dan who was kissing me, it was someone else, someone with dirty blonde hair with callous hands and a wide smirk, pinning me down and tying me up inside the dingy room, on a dirty bed. I could feel his disgusting organ forcing its way into me and I trembled in fear. Evil laughter and clatter of beer bottles rang in my ears and all I could see was that bloody knife and the colour red, Kyle sitting in the corner, tied to a chair, his eyes defeated and sad as he looked at me. My lungs squeezed and as he thrust again into me, I felt myself falling, slipping deeper into my own mind.

Suddenly I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't speak. Fear enveloped me and paralysed me and I felt his hands grabbing my wrists and I knew I could never escape. He was going to kill me. He was going to hurt me and I wanted to scream for help but my throat was so tight, my heart pounding violently, my numb mind still in disbelief over what was happening. I can never escape.

Never. Because I was weak and ugly and pathetic and I deserved it and it was all my fault.

I screamed as loud as I can, kicking and punching to get away, "No! Nonononono. " Again and again, the word spilled from my mouth. But I knew it was no use. No one was going to help me. No one was going to listen. I was all alone and he was going to hurt me. Everyone was laughing because I was ugly and worthless and I seduced them and he wanted to hurt me and I could never ever escape.

"No! Please, please. Please don't hurt me. Please, no. Please." I sobbed violently, pressing my hands to my ears to block out the laughter and the sharp ringing in my ears. I squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn't have to see their mocking faces, his sweaty face and bare chest as he stroked himself, giving me an evil smirk as he ignored the word 'No' that tumbled out of my mouth repeatedly.

"Sam!"

The sound of my name in a familiar voice cut through the laughter in my mind and I tried to grab onto it but it was so distant, like being underwater. I couldn't stop the tremors that ran through my body. I was shaking violently and I couldn't stop sobbing and screaming, I had no hope left but I screamed for help as much as I could, just in case someone, anyone would hear me and help me, save me.

"Sam, it's okay. Sam!" Someone said again and I was terrified to hope, I was terrified of the voice just being in my head. "Doll, open your eyes. Look at me."

My breathing was erratic and my lungs burned. I couldn't see anything. It was dark in the room and I could feel myself slipping away due to exhaustion.

"Sam!" They shouted, "Look at me! Look at me, doll. You're safe. You're okay."

The loud noise cut through the fog in my mind and my eyes snapped open abruptly, my heart pounding in my chest as I stared into green eyes.

"It's okay," Dan said softly, urgently, "You're safe. I'm here. I've got you, doll. You're okay. No one's going to hurt you."

A sob ripped through my throat and I panted, tears slipping down my cheeks as I stared at him, not being able to understand what was real and what was not. My brain felt too messy and confused.

"It's okay. You're fine. You're with me. I won't do anything that you don't want me to." He said softly, holding me loosely to show me that if I wanted, I could shove him away any time, "You're okay. We don't have to do anything. I love you. You're safe here. You're safe with me."

I breathed harshly, my chest heaving as I looked at him, trembling violently. "D-dan?" I asked, terrified that maybe he was not really here and it was all just a vivid hallucination.

"Yeah. It's me. It's Dan." He said, rubbing my back. "You're in my room, you're okay."

"I...I am?" I sobbed.

"You are. You're safe." He whispered gently. "I promise, doll. No one's going to hurt you."

Broken sobs left my lips as reality crashed down on me and I wrapped my arms back around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder and sobbing hysterically. He held me tightly, murmuring reassurances and soothing words.

"You're fine. You'll be fine, I promise. No one's going to hurt you." He whispered and more tears slipped down my cheeks when I heard his voice crack. "I love you. You're safe with me, I promise. You're safe."

That was when I broke down completely. I tried but I couldn't stop crying at all.

"You'll be okay. I'm here. I've got you."

"I'm s-scared," I hiccupped, clutching him tightly.

"Don't be." He murmured, "I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe with me."

"I'm sorry. I'm so s-sorry." I repeated, sobbing. "I'm sorry. I'm scared."

Dan didn't say anything more and I couldn't calm down for a long time. I repeated the same words again and again and he simply held me and whispered occasional reassurances and placed light kisses on top of my head. Eventually I was so exhausted I cried myself to sleep and even then I felt him picking me up and laying me down comfortably on the bed, tucking me warmly inside a blanket and lying next to me, holding me close.