* * *

9:06 AM

All things considered, it was surprisingly easy to leave Brooks's room this morning. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every delectable second of last night. But maybe I've just lived it too many times -the comedown. I know better what to expect. And it's armed with that no-strings-attached mentality that I'm able to traipse down the hallway and immediately share all the deets with my girlies.

"So, you're totally back together, right?" Trix asks.

"Duh. Did they ever break up?" Meg laughs.

"Um, yes. Thank you. He was engaged-" I begin.

"Yea, yea, and you had Josh. We know. But still," Meg interjects.

"Guys!" I throw up my arms in defeat. "Let's just not. We know what this was."

"Do we?" Trix raises her brow while simultaneously wrapping a long section of hair around her curling wand.

"Wedding sex!" I laugh weakly.

"Wedding sex?" Meg repeats, rolling her eyes at me.

"It's never gonna happen again. Us-"

"What's never going to happen again?" Meg asks.

"The wedding sex or you guys?" Trix presses.

"Either. Both. I'm not moving to LA. He's not moving to Seattle."

I start listing off all the things that are barriers, reasons, excuses.

"Maybe you'll both move home?" Trix suggests.

"Yea, stop hiding from each other." Meg nods.

I let the two of them drone on about my failed love life, how much Brooks and I are endgame, blah blah. They finally let up an hour later when we go up to the bridal suite to prep with Lauren, bridesmaids, and co.

Marissa and Penn were the first to get their make-up done. They were all dolled up before I even got here. It's barely 10 AM but I'm being thrust my second jumbo mimosa, instructed not to spill onto my champagne-satin gown.

I sit on the plush sofa bed, an airy, calming expanse in front of the Juliet balcony, and wait for my turn to be pretty. My mind wanders to Brooks, wondering what he's up to, what he's been doing all morning since I left him on his metaphorical doorstep. I'm sorely tempted to text Brooks or to waltz back down the hallway to him. But the wiser side of me, the one with an actual functioning brain, trumps the weaker me.

I keep reminding myself that it was the perfect goodbye.

Lauren's sister, who legit gave birth 17 days ago, smiles at me from the make-up chair next to the bride. She's been showing pics of her son all morning. Trix and her have bonded over babies, because, you know.

I'm called up to the hot seat, letting the hair stylist go to town on whatever style Lauren picked out for me to wear. Meanwhile, one of the MUAs starts prepping my skin for primer. I watch Trix, Meg, and Whit engaged in silly conversation, but I can only catch bits and pieces.

Whit shows them something on her phone. Meg curses. Trix starts FaceTiming Isla.

Good of Lauren to include them all in the wedding day festivities, even if they technically aren't real bridesmaids. Just me, her soon-to-be husband's brother's ex.

Just thirty minutes in and my hair is already transforming into a chic boho low-bun that makes me look like I just ran a 5K marathon, but on purpose. Meg, not my Meg, but the hair stylist Meg, is pinning up artfully curled pieces around my face at the same time I'm getting eyelash falsies glued on.

Once I'm excused, I join the rest of the girls on the couch. With my face and eyes back to myself, I sort through Go Zen's new mobile subscription sign-ups. Zoë and Ray have both texted me. Demi sent me some snaps of her at a morning work-out with her sister, telling me of her instant regret and asking me why GZ even offers 7 AM classes.

I laugh at her pics, rolling my eyes at how progressively horrible they get. Zoë forwarded over an email from our vendor that makes the Go Zen perfume oils. They're asking if we want to do a sample pack of their new line of air/car fresheners.

Easy YES. We can hand them out as promo items I type back to Zoë.

Life is pretty mf good right now. Between this crisp fall day, being all gussied up, mimosas flowing, and still smelling like Brooks from last night... I'm feeling multiple levels of warm and fuzzy. The personal growth and success from seeing GZ thrive is just the candied cherry on top.

Lauren and her sister are the last two to have their hair and makeup done. Once she's finished at the vanity, her mom and sister walk her into the other room to help step her into her dress. Moments later, Lauren reveals herself to the room.

"Oooo, YES."

"Gorgeous!"

"Honey, you're absolutely stunning."

"I'd cry. But it'd mess up my make up," I say quietly to her.

"Don't think about it," Lauren laughs.

"You look absurdly gorge. Next level. My hot ass sister wife," I smirk.

"Speaking of," Lauren whispers to me, leaning on her mom and Trix for support as she steps into her shoes.

"Shh." I wave her quiet, laughing. "Not on your wedding day!"

"Okay, okay," she wines. "Later tonight."

I roll my eyes at her, but can't stop smiling. So it wasn't lost on her that Brooks and I never showed up to dancing last night. Wasn't lost on anyone, but I abso refuse to let this day be about anything besides #OneForTheBrooks.

After a lot of sing-alongs and several more mimosas, Mrs. Parker is telling us all to round up and do last-minute checks for phones, purses, heels, etc. I discard my champagne flute, but grab what's left of my iced coffee from the foyer table. It's going to be a long day and, not that I'm regretting barely sleeping last night, I need every drop of caffeine I can get.

I consciously focus on making it down the hallway and onto the elevator without falling. I cram myself between Lauren and Whit, catching a whiff of someone's perfume, and by catching a whiff I mean being suffocated by.

The photographer has us branch off from our beautiful bride and we are ushered from the inside ballroom where the reception will be later tonight and into the courtyard below.

I breathe in the fresh air of this last September day. I'd die for this day. The foliage is golden, the sky deep blue, and the sun just right.

"Are you coming back home after the wedding?" Meg asks, tucking her air behind her ear. "I forget if I asked already."

"I don't know," I admit. "Thought about it. But I have so much to do for the studio. I haven't been back in weeks-"

"Doesn't it run just fine without you, though?" She tilts her head.

"Ouch." I bite the straw in my coffee.

"She only means since you've done such a kick ass job getting it going," Trix chimes in, appearing at our side.

I watch the double doors open again and see the boys -men- exit onto the cobbled lane. Brooks and Travis are in the lead, headed right for us.

Breathe.