They say home is where your heart is set in stone, it's where you go when you're alone. It's where you go to rest your bones.
-Gabrielle Aplin, Home

Phil

I'm a blur of warmth and emotions unlike anything I can scarcely remember. It's late at night when I finally slip into dreaming, my thoughts calm and happy as I hold gently on to Dan. I don't know why it is that I'm awakened only hours later by silence, punctuating my thoughts that had up until this point been very loud. 

I actually am asleep at one point, too. For a little while I do manage to drift off. Sleeping on my back has never been comfortable before but somehow it alright, almost easy with him. His hand finally drops from my wrist after another restless shifting and so I end up just settling an arm over him while he rests his head on my shoulder, which admittedly is probably more cushiony than a pack or the blanket below us. It's something I'd normally be insecure about, even now when something like a little extra body fat is trivial to literal matters of life and death. But at this moment I find myself sleepily thanking it. Then I close my eyes.

I sink gratefully into the darkness, feeling sporadic bursts of warm breath from my friend breezing over my neck. Time ceases to matter and for a few hours I dream about traveling from place to place.

Then suddenly it's like the whole world ceases to make a sound. Even in the night's quiet you can usually hear the humming of insects or the whistle of wind in the trees, but that too suddenly cuts off and for whatever reason, that's what awakens me. It catches me off guard more so than an actual sound would have. I open my eyes and am greeted with an all-encompassing dark, silent nothing. Felix, Mark and PJ have all gone to bed, leaving the fire burning low with the last of the night's embers. Cat isn't here which means she's either seen us and decided to give us some space or has noticed Dan's absence and has gone to take the watch. Anyhow we're still alone here, and Dan is still holding on.

I decide sleep can wait for a moment, taking the cue from nature that makes me assume I'm meant to be awake. I hear a soft exhale next to me and it's the first noise to break this span of quiet. I feel like time has stopped just for me, I wish there was more moonlight so I could see the boy next me. Or on me. Head on me. No, but seriously, his head is on my shoulder.

I sit up quickly, slightly, immediately regretting doing so after a stinging pain rips through my side. I can't help the yelp that escapes me, nor the sharp flinching motion that my body does seemingly automatically. As my free hand shoots forward to press against the pulsing area I hear Dan's incomprehensible mumbles of protest, feel him digging his cheek into my shoulder in a protest against the loss of my comfortable positioning. Of course, I remember crossly. The gunshot wound.

Apparently these feelings of safety and soundness have taken away from the memory that I've been shot, and now I'm left with a raw and painful thrumming on one side and a reassuring, steady warmth on the other. Like two sides of a coin, like heaven and hell. My body is being assaulted by the barest of emotions and to top it all off I'm sleepy and flustered. I push myself and Dan back so that I'm leaning against the willow's trunk, awake for the moment as the pain begins to subside. He goes on sleeping and I begin to wonder if even an earthquake will wake him tonight.

I've never seen him sleep so well. It's been several days since the night in the half-light camp and already his bruises are fading, only the ones on his cheek, forehead and below his right eye remaining. I find it reassuring. Just like everything else that's bad right now, the bruises are doing the same thing: Fading.

Fond.

The word crosses my mind as I look down at the form barely discernible in the darkness. I bet the look on my face is embarrassing. I'm so glad he's okay, that we're okay. The relief of his forgiveness is unexpectedly overwhelming and his response to being held has me questioning what even made me think he'd hated me in the first place. Surely I know him better than that. He's definitely not fragile, he guards his emotions more fiercely than anyone I've ever seen. But he's not heartless either.

He will always be Dan no matter how he changes or suffers, and that person cares and worries about me just as I do him.

It's not that he's exactly changed since life was normal, it's just more that he's been forced to grow. He's less naive and smiles less than he did before, he acts more logically and seriously and I find myself looking to him for everything before I even realize what I'm doing. He always knows what to do when my thoughts aren't even level, you would never know that he was four years younger than me.

That's why this perplexes me so much. He's always been so reserved and distanced physically from me in some ways. The only time he offers contact is when I'm upset or in danger, and then it's probably just a sense of duty more than anything. He fell asleep with my arms wrapped around him, not even remotely expressing any discomfort and I can't help but wonder, why?

I decide that if we're going to spend the night like this I might as well make the most of it, shifting him sideways so I can lay back down again and hugging him to me the way in the normal days I might have held a pillow. I bury my face in the waves of his hair, taking in his warmth as his body instinctively curls towards me. His hands travel forward to cross his arms over his chest, trapping my left hand in between both of his. Which is fine. Totally fine. I don't need breathing.

My throat pricks and I realize I'm almost emotional. Whether from relief or a lingering sadness or maybe a bit of both, I can't be too sure. I'm not wanting to cry right now when I can't even pinpoint what's causing it so I just focus on his hands curled over my folded fingers instead. In the back of my mind I still feel like I'm doing something wrong, having never actually done anything remotely like this with Dan before, but I can't bring myself to let go either. I want to fall asleep like this and wake up like this and squeeze and cuddle him til he's happy, even if that it takes forever. I've been staring at the back of his head so long it's probably stupid, but it's taking my mind a lot of adjusting to accept that he let this happen.

I can't deny that I'm tired. I hold on to the surreal reality a little longer, not daring to bring my lips closer to him again and trying to fight some of the comfort, blinking the eyes that are trying to fall shut. I swipe away the tears that are lingering threateningly, the wetness shining in the weak starlight in trails on the back of my hand. My skin is so pale, especially compared to Dan. I feel almost ethereal in the night, glowing soft like a ghost. I push down all my emotions and take a deep, calming breath, shifting myself around Dan so that I can finally sink into dreaming again too. Maybe neither of us will have nightmares.

My eyelids begin to grow heavy. My thoughts are full of yellow stars and purple bruises, my arms are filled with my best friend's form. Just as my eyes fall shut the sounds of leaves rustling and wind pick up in the trees and insects begin to hum all through the forest. Once again, the forest is alive.

~~~

My eyes open and I register the coldness on the tip of my nose, the stiffness in my neck. Sleeping on the ground is getting harder and harder on my body, yet I haven't gotten around to doing anything about it. I feel the familiar chill beneath me. Morning always brings a cold that somehow manages to creep below the blanket, although at least we're past the point in summer where each early day brings hot sunlight and a dewy ground. Waking up to slight dampness is arguably more uncomfortable and not quite as easy to solve as being cold. Now that's it's just chilly, I have a whole other set of issues. My fingers stretch forward, trying to bring Dan close as I cringe from the bright sunlight daggers piercing my eyes. That's when I notice.

I'm not holding onto him any longer.

I screw my eyes shut and groan, stretching and then pushing myself up on one elbow to sit up and observe the area around me. I'm still tangled in his comforter, laying on his blanket, but a quick look about and a very obvious gap next to me confirms that Dan himself is gone. I don't know why I feel slightly sad about this, as if he's abandoned me or something. It's not like I wanted to be spotted curled with him by any of our camp members. Definitely not. It's not like I'd exactly expected him to want to maintain the embrace after he woke up, he's not good with accepting affection at the best of times. But it's the happiest I've been in so long. Now that the night is over, I have to get back to normal.

I can't deny I feel slightly awkward now, noting that he's chosen to get up and leave instead of wait for me to wake up. I'm afraid he's uncomfortable, embarrassed that we woke up in such a non-platonic way. In which case it's totally my fault. Maybe he's avoiding me. Again. Just when I got him back to me, I had to go and make things weird just to temporarily feel loved and happy.

I hope you're happy now, Phil, a mocking voice taunts me. He won't be coming near you again.

All the things that hadn't seemed like a big deal in the moment sudden seem exaggeratedly stupid now. I forced him to share a blanket with me. Accidentally called him Bear like a sentimental idiot.

I'd been weird. It'd been too much. He doesn't want to be around me, and it's all my fault. Dan's right, I do let my emotions get the best of me. Maybe I could learn something from his cool behaviour. Take a leaf out of his book and exercise some self-control. Something. Anything. I curse myself for once again messing it up.

So my morning begins with a sigh, the inhale before it greeting my nose with the sweet scent of wood smoke. This place is like one long, never-ending camping trip, the firepit's smell permeating the air. I go to push the blankets off me and untangle my clumsy legs from the warmth reluctantly, a slightly lonely mood overtaking my senses. Now that I'm awake I'm feeling hungry, so at least I can indulge in that for a little bit. A classic way to deal with discomfort is to bury it in food, so it seems as good a motive as any. I lift a foot to kick off the blankets and that's when I notice the colour above me, a patch of blue where there should have been Dan's grey. My foot drops down quizzically and I sit up straight, peering down at the mess of bedding covering my legs and extending a hand to confirm what I already know is true.

A second blanket has been draped over me, covering the one that Dan and I had been sharing. A blue blanket with green and darker blue squares in a checker pattern, one corner wedged under my shoulder so as not to fall out of place. It takes a second for the confusion to clear from my mind, for the longest time I'm just gaping blankly. Then the puzzle pieces fall into place. That's my comforter. The one I've been sleeping under since arriving at this camp. Someone gave me a second blanket to sleep under, maybe because this morning especially had been so cold. It's an undeniably kind gesture and I dare to get my hopes up a little, already pretty sure where this came from. It's never a good idea to do that to yourself, but I'm the most disgustingly optimistic person I know.

My heartbeat speeds up eagerly. Calm down, stupid. I scold myself. It was probably Cat.

Ha. No it wasn't.

I run the fabric between my thumb and forefinger as if it serves some higher purpose, still a little down but my mood lightened minutely with hopefulness. I feel a warmth in my cheeks. At least he made sure I was comfortable. That was nice.

As soon as I get up the cold whooshes in, making me close in on myself a little. It doesn't help that the willow has the whole area washed in shade. I'm sure as soon as I make it out into the sunlight it'll be better. I make both beds quickly, which basically involves just spreading out both comforters over their respective blankets, tugging on the corners to smooth out any lines.

I'm still wearing both of my sweaters. I tug the blue sleeves of the outer one down to cover my hands, letting the heat return.

The walk over to the firepit is much too short for my liking. As soon as I push aside the low-hanging tree branches and start to stride forward I can see the eyes on me- and the ones not on me. It's difficult to be discrete when everybody's watching you, and I try not to make direct eye contact with anybody out of awkwardness. I'm surprised to spot Dan actually sitting with the group, on the opposite side of the little log circle mind you but near them nonetheless. He hasn't noticed me yet, he's fiddling with something that has his full attention. I've forgotten how to walk, I'm stumbling from the discomfort of being the last one up.

I feel a slight strain in my side and settle a hand over it, lifting the other one to wave vaguely at Cat and Mark, who still seem focused on shamelessly staring. I don't see PJ or Felix anywhere. My hand drops and now on top of unsure I also feel kind of bad, as if I drove Felix away or something. I can't blame him for anything that happened, other than the shooting which I obviously can't overlook. He clearly feels really bad about but I can see what Dan's on about. If he let himself be reduced to that level of violence once, what's to say he won't do it again? Also, his intent had not been to hit me, it had been to hit him. I can't help the relief that floods me at seeing he's not around.

Now that I'm closer I can see that Dan's holding a stick and is using a knife to sharpen it, more out of boredom than anything. Maybe he doesn't know what else to do. I feel a little irritable that even Cat is sitting away from him, as if he has some sort of disease. Then I remember that he doesn't want me around him either, causing me to awkwardly stop right at the edge of the semicircle.

"Morning." I manage to get out, plastering a smile on my face. I look at all three of their faces briefly and end up focused on Mark, of all people, who raises his eyebrows in the friendliest expression I've yet been privileged to see on his face. Like Dan, this amounts to a semi-smile that suggests being emotionally guarded, but there's a tug of companionship in there too.

"Hey Phil." He greets, "You're up! Didn't think we'd see you today."

I breathe out a laugh but it's pretty pathetic. I can feel the eyes boring into my back.

Cat glances up at me and I brace for the knowing smile. Now that it's daylight I'm back to self-conscious again, and I realize I really don't want her to have seen Dan and I yesterday. She'll get the wrong idea and she'll bring it up in front of them and of him, and then I'll be forced to deal with things I'm not ready to-

"Uh... gonna sit down?"

She looks at me like I'm being really strange and I frown confusedly, having expected much, much worse.

Nobody's looking at Dan, and I realize he probably hasn't reached out to apologize still. He's still being treated like an outcast. I look at him and despite thinking having him stare at me was nerve-wracking, my heart sinks even more to see that in fact, he isn't.

He has his head down and is much too engrossed looking in his whittling to be entirely convincing. I wish he'd just look at me.

I shuffle over to accept a bowl of soup that Mark offers, numbly nodding along to the conversation he and Cat have begun resuming. It's something about the tube in London and I feel uncomfortably detached from it, taking a spoonful of salty broth that must have come from a packet. I step sideways and then quickly rotate back, not sure of whether to just sit down next to one of them or settle a space away from my indifferent friend.

"Where's Felix and PJ?" I ask no one in particular, in a lame attempt to get something going.

Mark and Cat look up at me seriously, silently, glancing at each other before looking at me.

"They-" Cat supplies hesitantly. "They went back out. For Marzia. To see if they could find her." Mark backs her up by nodding, stoic as usual.

My stomach twists and I decide I don't want to be part of this conversation anymore, turning my back on them and trailing away slowly. If there was one thing that could have made me feel worse, this was definitely that one thing.

Now I'm not sure what to do. Go back under the willow? Sit up against the rock wall? The mood all around us is solemn and I don't know if I can handle that at the moment. Not unless Dan can talk me through.

I'm considering just wandering off to another part of the camp entirely. I'm about to, actually, eyeing a boulder under the low-growing pines, when a voice sounds softly behind me.

"Hey."

I try not to turn to him too eagerly, suppressing the expression that's pushing to spread across my features. I'm not sure I should be doing that at the moment, letting such an expression exist in such a situation as this. It feels morally wrong. I make an effort to push it away carefully, though to Dan I come across as casual and calm. What a good actor the apocalypse has made me. Why on earth do I feel the need to be smiling anyway? All he did was greet me.

I turn around slowly, meeting the dark eyes that have me nervous just looking at them. His expression is neutral, unreadable, as is to be expected while we're around our companions. A couple seconds of silent staring passes between us, acknowledging without vocally acknowledging what's obviously happened between us. Or is it just me thinking about that? Maybe Dan thought nothing of it at all. There is such a thing as platonic snuggling, he'd only been half awake, etc etc. His face gives nothing away.

"You're...talking to me?" I ask confusedly, kicking myself internally for blurting something so stupid.

Undeterred by my response he indicates the stump next to him and I start forward, wishing someone would speak. It's like we're some interesting spectacle, everyone has gone silent.

I sit casually, ignoring the perplexed look on our friends' faces.

"So?" I ask, not sure of what else to say. I look down at my hands, waiting for him to give me some indication of how he wants me to act right now.

"Good morning to you too." He replies irritably, not at all pleased with my discomfort.

Well that's not very encouraging. I look over at him and he raises his eyebrows, brown eyes focused on me and mouth quirking into an almost-smile. I can't tell if he's mocking me.

"I'm sorry." I say stiffly. "Good morning, Dan."

He looks surprised, apparently expecting a different response. I don't really know where I stand with him, I'm keeping it on the safe side by staying carefully guarded. Almost like he would. I wonder if surviving this much together means we've grown closer in a new way, I'm acting more like him at least. Maybe there's hope and he'll also start acting like me.

"Are you all right?" He asks worriedly, the tone sounding so out of place coming out of his mouth. It's like he's been replaced by another version of himself, there's way too much concern and emotion behind his speaking. This is Dan we're talking about. His way of checking up on me is through curt questions and balanced inquiries. I know he means well, but it's awkward for him to express it. He shows his concern for me in the way he's defensive, with fierce loyalty and a protectiveness I maybe don't deserve. With only a few exceptions, he doesn't exactly do emotional.

Except for, well, now.

I wish I could lie to him. I know that he's been many things less than fine lately. I'd been content to comfort him, to know that because he was safe I had nothing to worry about. I could be strong for us, unwaveringly optimistic. I always tell myself this and when I do I swear I can feel it. That I'm strong and steady, that I can look past it all.

But that's not how I feel. And I can't lie to him. I never have and I never will. I'm afraid that he doesn't want me. I'm afraid we're all running out of time. I'm afraid because of what happened with Marzia, who has managed to resurface just as the pain had lessened in our minds. I'm afraid of not being enough and of scaring him or losing him, and I'm realizing this all at once.

So I don't lie to him. I do my best to look at him, then quickly shake my head.

"Oh." He coughs awkwardly, his eyebrows creasing in concern. I'm not even thinking about our two friends right now. I'm distracted by the look on his face. He fiddles with his fingers and I shrug my shoulders, ready to leave it at that.

I'm probably just being dramatic. Already he thought I was weird and now I've just made things weirder, shrugging him off was the simplest response and now I've denied him anything that could be remotely helpful. I jerk my gaze away from his face, angry that he's so beautiful and caring looking right now when I don't have permission to stare, I just want to be alone for a little while and yet I can't stand to be stuck with just myself and-

Without another word he steps forward, pulling me stiffly into a hug. Right there, in front of our friends. He actually drops the stick he's holding and leaves his seat, settling onto the one next to mine and pulling me to him with one arm. I don't know how to react to it. His breath ghosts over my neck as he takes hold of me, admittedly caught by surprise.

At first I don't do much of anything. I just sit there frozen, rooted to the spot by the unexpectedness of it. He stiffens slightly, uncomfortable that I'm not reciprocating the embrace. Then it's like I wake up from my muddled daydream, the lens focusing sharply on the reality that is this. Dan is hugging me. He's doing it willingly in front of people. He's muttering something about worry and I don't know what it is.

I lift up one disobedient arm to hold on to him loosely, slowly coming to terms with the fact that he's trying to offer me comfort.

"It's okay." He murmurs quietly. I don't even know what he's referring to. Is it me being upset or our interactions last night or something else, like a statement that things will eventually get better? I can't be sure.

I shake my head and move forward, perhaps a little too quickly, making him stumble back and mutter something about calming myself, as he does. I circle my arms behind his back and hold onto him tightly, not even sure why I'm hurting so much and just wanting him near. And he doesn't push me off. He doesn't say anything, but it's not a bad thing. He's just holding me back, somehow knowing it's exactly what I needed.

It's like he's channeling his emotions through his mind to mine. I can feel it in the way his hands pat my back lightly, the way the embrace is just tight enough to get across the message, the one that indicates this is no arbitrary thing. I'm here for you. It tells me. You worry too much.

I breathe in deeply, feeling a wash of settling calm.

Then suddenly, one half of our companions decides to remind us of his presence.

"Woah, woah." Mark exclaims quickly, glancing back and forth between us. "Does this mean you're all good now? Or what?" His dark eyes squint at us perplexedly, like we're a complicated math equation or something.

I feel Dan's arms falter as he tenses under the attention. My heart sinks as he quickly draws away.

I feel my face heating in embarrassment, slightly angry that Mark's bringing up our conflict so early after it's been resolved. The last thing I want is for Dan to be humiliated, and I'm not exactly eager to remember our fight. I can understand why Mark would be confused though, the last time he saw me I was doing my damnedest to move in the opposite direction of Dan whenever I could, giving him the space I was convinced he thought he needed. I bite my lip painfully, not sure how to answer. But clearly something has been fixed, he must know that he's making it awkward by forcing us to remember.

But Dan nods his head, setting a hand on my back and squeezing my shoulder.

"We're fine." He says easily, raising his eyebrows at Mark as if challenging him to push the issue any further. He's defending me. He's still speaking to me, and he's not even upset it seems.

I expect Mark to aim something back at him. Ever since we were first brought to this place Mark was aggressive and impulsive. I know for a fact that he doesn't like Dan. Or he didn't anyway. He outright threatened him one time before, and tensions must have been high when they were stuck in the half-light prison together. I'm shocked when I see him settle back calmly and raise an eyebrow, shooting Dan a knowing look like they know something I don't.

"Well by all means, keep doing what you're doing then, and don't let me interrupt."

I frown in confusion and Dan reacts weirdly, looking at Mark like he just made the weirdest joke.

"Don't expect me to come out and apologize." Dan retorts, and the other man just rolls his eyes.

"You know that's not what I expect you to do." Mark chuckles

I have no idea what they're talking about. I see Dan's face go minutely red and he shakes his head in annoyance, not even bothering to explain to either me or Cat.

"I don't get what you're on about." He tells him lowly.

"You're in denial Dan." Mark prods, and I guess Dan doesn't care to here more of that.

"Okay, Phil. We're leaving." He stands up quickly, turning to face me as if indicating I should stand up too. The suddenness would typically indicate that there's conflict and someone's angry, but not this time. It feels instead as though the mood has lightened considerably. Dan does want to leave but he's doing so jokingly, just to shut Mark up. The world has turned upside-down. I swear he's almost smiling.

"Does this mean you finally want to go for that walk?" I ask him jokingly. I wonder if the day would have gone differently had we actually gone that day that I wanted to, even without our weapons to defend us. What would have happened if we didn't join Marzia and Mark?  Would we have ever encountered the half-life camp? I tell myself not to think about it. It's not good to dwell on the what-ifs. The point is, it did happen, and there's nothing we can do.

He grins lopsidedly. "Yeah."

I can't help but smile at the suggestion, working quickly to finish my soup.

Twenty minutes later I have my axe in one hand and a the strap of my backpack in the other, which is pretty badass if you visualize it. We decided to just follow the trail for a while and circle around the edge of the town, check up on the old collapsed barn to see if our stuff is still there. It's not like we really need any of it but I left behind my winter hat and our tarp that we slept on. Since it's getting colder, those are two things I'd like to get back. I try to focus on the prospect of going for a walk with Dan, eager to reestablish whatever our brief conflict screwed up and not on the gathering grey clouds in the sky, rumbling low and threateningly off in the distance.

"This is a stupid time to be doing this." Mark tells us bluntly. "You're going to be walking right back in probably an hour and a half."

"Rather be rained on than stuck here with you." Dan replies, earning a disdainful look.

"We don't like you anyway." Cat teases, sticking out her tongue at us and giving Mark a friendly punch in the shoulder. "We'll enjoy the warm fire and zombie-free walls while you idiots try not to die. Much better."

She gives me a sly look and I shake my head at her, trying to redirect her thoughts.

"Are you not coming, then?" I ask her, for some reason thinking that she would.

She gives me a look like I can't be serious. "I'm not leaving Mark here alone. Besides, you guys need some bonding time."

I blush at her implications and glance sideways at Dan, who feigns vomiting. It makes me to snort and I have to cover my face to stop myself from laughing, which makes him look very proud of himself. It's such a stupid thing to say to us, like we should be skipping off into the sunset after a warm and fuzzy heart-to-heart. Gross. That being said, I have no problem spending some secluded alone time with my best friend that doesn't involve being captured or attacked.

"I don't know what rosy image you have in your head, Cat, but Phil and I are literally fine now. We're guys, we talk through our issues and then get over them, like any decent pair of friends." Dan jokes.

"You know what that means I hope." I tell her with a meaningful look. "We're over it."

Cat pouts in a joking way, lunging forward with both arms extended to forcefully push us both towards the gate, her hands colliding with our chests. Being that I'm clumsy enough without any kind of prompting this unprecedented attack makes me trip over my own feet, stumbling backwards and knocking my head against Dan's shoulder painfully, almost clocking him with the handle of my axe. I let out a shriek and Dan sucks in a pained breath of air, yet still somehow manages to catch me. He settles his hands on either side of my shoulders and steadies me gently, not backing away until I'm upright.

"Get out then." Cat teases, smirking at my mortified look. The way she's grinning at me, it makes me pretty sure that she meant for that to happen. "Four days is a long time, you probably have so much to catch up on after the dramatic separation."

You'd have to be pretty stupid to miss the sarcasm in her tone. I shake my head, glaring at Mark's bemused look.

"I think I would definitely rather be rained on than stay with you guys." Dan mutters to me, to which I can't help but agree. I turn my back on Mark and Cat eagerly, not feeling in the least bit inclined to stay.

"You two have fun then." I shout over my shoulder, glancing quickly to make sure that Dan is following behind.

"You two as well." Mark replies, already disinterested and walking back to the fire. "Try not to do anything stupid."

Dan and I drift a couple paces apart. I let him walk forward towards the gate, which I stare at unnecessarily intently as I wait for the heat to leave my cheeks. The faded wood is grown over with some kind of crawling plant, a standing monument to how long this camp has been around. It occurs to me that Mark and company have as much of a story as we do, and we really know very little about them. We should really try to figure some of it out. I'm already thinking about the open air and sunlight that we'll encounter in town, green grass and something that's not trees. I'm looking forward to it.

Dan pushes open the gate and walks out unceremoniously, his back retreating into the woods. I move to follow when a hand yanks me back, making me stumble a second time. I snap my head around to see Cat's silver eyes focused on me. She lets go quickly and sets a hand on my shoulder, making sure I'm listening to what she has to say.

"What the hell did you say to him last night?" She hisses quietly. "It's like he's a whole different person."

We don't have to address who he is. It's pretty clear who she's referring to.

"We did what he told you we did." I reply hesitantly. "We just sort of... talked it out."

Does this mean she doesn't actually know what happened? I've gotten away with holding him the entire night?

Her eyebrows go up curiously. "He hugged you in front of Mark. You looked like you were imploding."

The heat returns, and I shake my head in denial. If I take any longer Dan's going to wonder where I am, and he'll have to come back for me. I decide to stall the explanation for now.

"Look, I'll tell you about it later. Don't bring it up in front of him, I don't want him to even suspect-"

"I won't." She cuts over exasperatedly. "I know him almost as well as you do. I've just...never seen him joke like that before. He's smiling, and yesterday I barely saw his face. And don't think you got away with your little snuggle session last night. You owe me an explanation."

A choked sound escapes my lips.

And here I'd been thinking she actually didn't know.

"You idiot." She laughs upon seeing my horrified face. "I'm a sleepless half-zombie. At some point in the night I'm going to check up on my two best friends."

Deny, deny. My mind screams at me.

She's completely relentless. "Frankly, I'm offended you weren't going to tell me. I thought I'd be the first one. Is there something you're not telling me?"

Prior to this point it's true that any moment worth merit would have ended up being relayed to her. Before we were part of this group I had only her and Dan, one of whom was not always in the mood for petty personal problems. Or just couldn't hear about my personal problems because unfortunately, they revolved around him. But this one I had to keep under wraps because as sad as it is to admit, it's not what it looks like.

I shake my head vigorously. "I said I'd tell you later." I mange to squeak, backing away quickly as the man himself peers back into the gateway, confused that I'm not following.

"I'll hold you to that." She says seriously, no longer joking in any way.

I don't even acknowledge this challenging answer.

I turn on my heel and jog over to Dan quickly, cringing as he places a hand on my shoulder and leads me out of the enclosure. That's exactly the thing Cat wants to see. I can feel her gaze even as we move out of sight and I sigh ever so slightly, shrugging off his touch and turning my head to look at him. I can practically hear her thinking, it's irritating because it's just not true.

"What was that all about?" he asks quietly, not missing the tension in my features after this unprecedented out. "What did Cat say?"

It's not something I can explain to him. I pause for a while to sweep my eyes over the pines and other tree trunks that have us closed in all around, feeling the knot in my stomach relax a little the farther we move from camp.

"It's nothing." I say quickly, and I can tell he doesn't believe me. "She's just glad to see you smile."

I'll apologize for how grossly cheesy that came out later, he doesn't even seem bothered anyway.

600 reads what the shit where did u come from

You're great, I just want you to know that.