I was sitting in a tree, face tipped up, staring into space. The stars were amazingly clear in Denali. Each of them glittered and pulsed and shone, singing to one another. It was beautiful, worth losing myself in a million times over.

So why was I thinking about Minho Lee? Why, why, why, why, why?

He was a guy, whose blood had sent me into hysterics, whom I hadn't spoken to and didn't know anything about, who shouldn't have much bearing on my life...

But every time I thought of him, a smile snuck onto my face. He had drawn the villain in me close to the surface — dangerously, unforgivably close... but he had brought out so much more. When he had fallen, I'd wanted to catch him. When I'd made him mad, I'd wanted to apologize. When I had listened to his mind, I'd been freed from the constant, grinding voices.

This boy had waltzed in, and unwittingly made me feel human again — even if just a little.

"Minho Lee," I whispered into the nothingness, "I'm sorry."

~ * ~

The phone only rang once.

"Jisung," Chan said, "are you okay?"

I spoke through my teeth. "I want to come home."

"Why don't you?"

"Felix says I'm gonna kill him. I can't do that." My finger curled around the cord. "God, Chan, this is so screwed up."

"Felix's futures keep changing — a good lot of them are positive."

"It's too risky. I can't put him in danger like that."

"It doesn't have to be dangerous." Chan was speaking in the flat voice he used when he was tired of my bellyaching. "What're you gonna do, Jisung?"

"I... don't know."

"Felix says you're coming back."

I rubbed the heel of my hand into my eye. "Yeah, I was gonna do that anyway."

~ * ~

I whipped through the trees. The wind fought with my wet clothes — I had swum from Alaska. It didn't take long to get home. I was barely over the threshold when Hyunjin barrelled into me and hugged me tight.

Lord thundering Jesus, I'm so happy you're back. He blubbered into my shoulder.

I patted his back. "You're okay, big bird, calm down."

"He's been crying for days." Seungmin leaned on the doorframe on the other side of the room.

Felix appeared next to him. "You cried, too."

Seungmin fake-laughed and gave him the finger.

"Hyunjin, share," Haseong said as he ran into the room. He scooped me up and spun me around. I wrapped my arms and legs around him. I didn't know why I felt safest in Haseong's arms. He'd always been my biggest brother, the only one who could successfully calm me down.

Chan ran over, too, and the rest of them. Deja vu. This was infinitely better than last time. Eight again.

Chan drew back and asked, "Why are you wet?"

"I swam here."

"Why didn't you take a bus?"

"Because he wanted time alone to brood," said Felix.

"Because buses are too mainstream," said Seungmin.

"All right, it was nice seeing Hyunjin and Seongie and nobody else, I'm going back to Alaska."

"No!" Hyunjin screeched.

Chan took my hand and towed me into the living room. "We're sorry. We won't tease you anymore." He gave me a shove toward my room. "You get changed. We want to hear all about your travels."

I headed upstairs in a huff, but I was smiling. I dropped my bag in my room and changed into dry clothes.

My feet were planted solidly on this ground — the Peruvian rug I bought in the sixties, my stacks of notebooks and photos stuck to the wall. Close to my family. It felt unnatural to be apart from them. I had missed their teasing, their unique inner voices — their annoying outer voices. Something was healing in me, now that I was home.

But I couldn't shake Minho Lee. His relationship to the situation had shifted over the week. Or my relationship to him. He wasn't what I avoided now — he was what I sought.

I wanted to approach him. Tomorrow maybe, in Biology class. I didn't kill him the first time — imagine how much better I could do if I was expecting it, if I knew not to breathe or get too close. I'd go hunting tonight — it would make it more bearable.

I'm ready, I told myself. I had no idea if I was pulling my own leg or not.

~ * ~

It was embarrassing that this was kind of a big day. My millionth Monday of high school and it was the first I was excited for. Because of him. Embarrassing.

At least try to look normal. Felix gently slapped my cheeks and honked my nose.

"I'm nervous."

Don't worry, you're gonna do fine. See?

He flipped through his recent visions, the potential futures. They had changed — not so many ended with murder. But the good and the bad bled into each other (no pun intended). Felix saw me talking with Minho, explaining my actions, controlling myself well... and then following him, skulking in the trees, waiting in his truck...

"So nothing's off the table? I can either get by or fail completely." I clenched my teeth. "I won't fail, I can't."

The Baby was about to say something, but he hesitated.

"What, Jeongin?"

"I was gonna say that, you know, you've killed humans before."

A guilty knot sat in my stomach. "Those were accidents. I didn't know them."

"You don't know Minho, either."

"I know his name. I know he likes Harry Potter. His dad is Chief Swan. They don't have the best relationship, but they're working on it."

That divorce was ugly. Felix shook his head.

"There's something about Minho," I said. "He needs... to live. I dunno."

"Someone hold this, for God's sake," Seungmin whined. Jeongin held his umbrella over his head while he shrugged his backpack on. "Lix, why didn't you tell me it was gonna snow?"

"I'm not your weatherboy, just Google it."

"I love snow." Hyunjin opened his arms to the heavens. "Remember when we lived in Antarctica? A six-month-long day of snowball fights."

"Antarctica sucked," Changbin said. "Couldn't tell ya how many times I found myself on a random iceberg, set adrift."

"But the lights were so pretty!" Hyunjin linked arms with Seungmin and Jeongin. "So romantic."

"I felt bad killing the animals there," I murmured. "Their ecosystem is at risk."

"Who let him read about climate change?" Felix tut-tutted at the others. "Y'all know he's fragile."

I shoved him. "Shut up, I'm stable."

Something smacked into the back of my head.

I spun around, and another snowball hit me in the face. I bent down, balled together whatever was under my feet and flung it blindly. They were cackling and squeaking as we pelted each other with snow.

"Stop, stop, it's getting in my socks!" Seungmin shouted.

We ceased fire. Felix ran up and splatted one last handful of mush over my head.

"Now this is album-worthy." Hyunjin pulled his camera out of his backpack and started taking pictures.

Jeongin was waddling, arms down the back of his neck. "It got down my shirt."

"You threw a rock at me!" Changbin yelled at Seungmin.

"I really didn't need this today," I muttered, shaking off my coat.

Relax, bro, Felix thought. It's just lunch.

We walked into the cafeteria and headed to our table, leaving a trail of water behind us.

I was still anxious. I was very aware that Minho was so near, on the other side of the room. I couldn't smell or hear him yet — and I didn't allow myself to peek in his direction — but I knew he was there. An odd, starstruck flutter in my chest.

My brain zeroed in on Minho's table. I still couldn't hear his mind, which wasn't even close to the biggest of my problems, but I would have loved to know what he was thinking. I switched to Jessica. She was replaying the same verse in a pop song over and over again — until she glanced at Minho.

His eyeballs are literally gonna bust outta his head, she thought. I'll have to pick them up off the floor.

"Minho, what are you staring at?" She followed his eyes to us. Aw, them again.

I looked up — eager to meet his eye. He was examining us, brows flat over his eyes. My brothers were still smiling and skipping. We must have seemed different, more human, less imposing, than the last time he saw us. Saw me. God, what did he even think of me? Had he been thinking about me?

Our eyes met, but his snapped away. He heaved a sigh — annoyed? I felt like apologizing again.

"Jisung Han is staring at you," Jessica murmured to him.

"He doesn't look... scared, does he?"

"No. Should he be?" Jessica was imagining Minho roughing me up behind the school. Had she seen Minho before? It made me smile.

"He acts weird around me." Minho dropped his forehead onto his arms. I was almost painfully curious now. I let my fingers tap on the table, impatient for the conversation to go on.

Dude, stop, you're shaking the table, Changbin thought.

I mumbled an apology and braced my hands together.

"He acts weird around everyone — so do his siblings." Jessica met my eyes for a second. "He's still staring at you."

"Stop looking at him," Minho hissed.

Ooh, cool down, killer! Jessica laughed and looked away. The focus shifted off Minho, and he didn't look up again. I waited for the bell to ring, and when it did, I sprang up out of my chair.

Seungmin kept me down with a tug on my jacket.

"What?" I whined. The other students were filing out already. I could distinguish Minho's footsteps from the rest; slow, and his heels dragged as if he was long-suffering.

You still sure you wanna do this? Felix asked in his head.

"Yeah — why, what are you seeing?"

He was purposefully hiding his vision from me, reciting a Yo-Yo Ma piece backward. So it was bad. I didn't need to see his vision to get the gist.

"What percent?" I asked.

Seventy, you kill him in Biology. Or forty. Maybe.

"What does that mean?"

It's not just about you. It's where your Bio teacher puts the fan. It's what Minho decides he thinks of you, whether he likes you or not. It's every other student in the classroom.

"What can I do? To ensure my side of it?"

Felix's eyes narrowed. You're really intent on talking to him, aren't you?

"Um. Yeah."

Why?

I took a second too long to answer, and Felix's face went blank.

"Oh," he murmured. "You... oh." His walls were weakening — I saw the edges of his vision. Chaos, blood, vampires. And kissing. Minho and I. A meadow, a car crash, a wedding. Love.

So much blood. The hint of it made me tremble. I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping my hair.

"What just happened?" Jeongin asked, not sure which of us to comfort.

"A new future," said Felix. "It's not likely, but..." Jesus, Jisung, he's why you came back?

"Not just him. But kind of him."

"What are you talking about?" Seungmin demanded. "Jisungie, tell me you don't have a crush on the human."

"I do not have a crush on Minho."

"Not yet," Felix said. I smacked the back of his head.

"You said it was only one possibility!"

"The fact that it could happen at all is enough incentive to razz you for decades, bro."

"I knew it!" Hyunjin exclaimed. "I knew you thought he was cute! I called it!"

"Be quiet, dumbass," Changbin said.

"We need to get to our classes." Seungmin stood. "For the record, I think Jisung is insane and emotionally unstable, and he should just — not go to class. Forget this whole thing."

Why did that sound like a fate worse than death — worse than this — to me? To act like none of it ever happened? I would never forget this, vampire-memory or no. I felt like I had one foot, one toe, in a future that I could actually stand to think about. I wouldn't step out.

"I don't want to do that."

"So you're gonna wait around until you kill him or fall in love with him or he moves away and you never see him again? What the hell kind of plan is that?"

"I won't kill him."

"What about the other possibilities?"

I shrugged. "If I don't kill him and don't get us outed, does it matter?"

They all exchanged looks, thoughts in harmony. We don't want you to get hurt.

I didn't have a reply for them.

"We really should go," Jeongin said. The rest of them got up and headed toward the door. I fell into step with Felix.

"In the new future," I whispered, "do I... do I kill him?"

Felix shook his head, not meeting my eyes. We'll see, I guess.

--------------------------------------

writing this chapter was so much fun because it's, like, ninety percent jisung and his brothers, and i'm extremely soft for seungbin and jilix. hyunjin is cute with everybody ngl

bye