As the last man finishes in me, I'm almost dying to keep my eyes open. It's so hard. I stopped reacting a long time ago. Bruises, hickeys, teeth marks and fluid litter my whole body. My mouth is sore and my throat raw from some of the men. Every hole in my body was filled at some point and I can't move. My body is just a whole load of pain.

I lay there in silence as the men redress themselves, a couple of them untying me. I lay unmoving as they converse between themselves.

"We literally fucked the life out of her," one of them remarks as a few chuckles break out.

"Do we really have to let her rest a bit? I don't think I can wait that long."

"What I would give to have a permanent pussy like that available at all times for me."

"And my ringtone as her screams of pain."

"Cain, I think that should be a daily."

"Obviously it's a daily. The more pain we inflict on her, the more pleasure she deserves."

"I love the feeling of her gagging on my dick. The way her throat tightens."

"I'm the lucky one who got to fuck her ass for the first time. I almost came as soon as I entered."

"Next time have her on all fours so we can fuck her in different positions."

"Who knows? Maybe throw in a spanking or two."

"You mean another person or two. I wouldn't mind fucking her at the same time with Cain and Eddie. We'd tear her apart."

"I think I'd be able to feel your dick if we fuck her at the same time."

"We should use the tools next time. We might be able to fit two dicks in her."

"That'll loosen her up for my fist and arm."

They are disgusting. I block out their speech to focus on the pain. It's only the first day and there's still the rest of the week. They're going to cause more pain than today. I can only hope I'm able to live through it. Or die. At this point, I don't really care anymore. I just want it all to end.

Something in me knows if I survive, I'll never be able to return to the men. Not after knowing they lied to me. Twisted the truth. Yes they might not have killed or tortured innocents but their men did and that's just as bad.

"Someone take her to her room to get washed up and gift her with a shower fuck," Cain says as some of the men walk out. Again? They just used me and now someone is going to repeat what they've just done? How am I going to cope with that?

Number 11 gladly takes up the offer and grips my arm tightly, throwing me over his shoulder. I don't think my legs or body would be able to keep me upright if I stood on my own. We pass the cold hallway and head up the stairs until we're back in my room. He makes sure to lock the door behind him and walk towards the bathroom.

"Now, you're not going to make a sound because we don't want Finn to hear us. If I hear so much as a peep from your mouth, I'll have to fill it with water, teach you what happens to bitches who don't listen and that won't be pleasant, will it? Turn on the shower. Make sure it's cold."

I turn around and open the shower tap, turning the handle to the cold side. Just as I let go of the handle, Number 11 grabs my breasts from behind and pulls me flush against his now naked chest. I almost gasp before remembering his words. Not a peep.

He begins to slowly hump me from behind while squeezing my breasts as tightly as he can. I bite the insides of my lips to keep any noise from escaping. "Hands on the wall and bend on a 90 degree angle, ass as far out as you can."

This is so humiliating. I get into position, avoiding the stream of cold water next to me. "I want you to count every slap. And you better not fucking move out of that position until I tell you too."

I manage to see him from the corner of my eye, stroking himself as he rubs my ass. He's going to rape me again. They're all going to torture me for as long as I'm breathing. I can't believe they get off on this, it's so inhumane and degrading.

As my mind wonders, contemplating how long I'll be able to handle this, I'm unable to stop the sniffle and tears from escaping. He stills at the sound. "Was that a noise I heard? I'll give you something to cry about!"

Slap! Slap! Slap!

He brings his hand down with so much force, hitting my ass relentlessly. He moves my hands off the wall and stands in front of me, putting my hands on his dick. "Stroke it and you better count this time. I will stop when I cum."

Slap! "One," I whisper, rubbing my hands across his length. I pick up speed as he continues his slaps, hoping he'll finish off quickly. I hope no one gets to ever know what they put me through. The embarrassment and humiliation of being treated like a toy burns more than the pain.

With every slap, I count out loud and feel him getting harder in my hands. I want this to end. I can't live with another moment of this.

Slap! "93." I stroke near his tip, which seems to set him off as fluid spurts out of his dick, into my hands. Before I have a chance to wipe it off he's gripping my hair forcing me to stand.

"Oh fuck! Stand straight and spread it over your tits." It's a struggle to stand straight after being bent for so long. Rubbing his fluid over my breasts, I notice him becoming hard again. I can't do this anymore. Having enough, I run out of the shower and into the bedroom, leaning against the bed.

Number 11 storms out of the bathroom naked, pushes me onto the bed, flat on my stomach and spreads my legs forcefully, ramming into me. He leans against my back, grabbing my breasts, twisting them as he takes me from behind. The bed moves with the force he's thrusting into me with.

"Don't *thrust* fucking *thrust* run *thrust* away *thrust* from *thrust* me *thrust* like *thrust* that *thrust* slut! I am going to fuck you *thrust* so hard *thrust* every chance I get *thrust* since you think you can control me! *thrust* I'll show you who's in control! *thrust*"

He pushes my head into the sheets and violently thrusts into me unrelentingly. When he finally releases inside me, he gives me a hard slap on my ass before pulling out.

"You're going to go wash yourself and I'm going to get Finn to check up on you. A word out of line and tomorrow will be so much worse than it already is," he threatens. I nod in understanding and slowly get off the bed, wincing at the intense pain. He goes to the bathroom and rinses himself off, gets dressed and walks out.

With shaky legs, I drag myself to the bathroom, close and lock the door before turning on the shower as hot as it goes. Hopefully it relaxes my muscles a bit. I step into the shower and sink to the floor, letting the water wash over me.

*Knock knock knock*

That must be Finn. "Yes?" I call out as clearly as I can.

"Just checking in. Do you need anything?" he asks.

"No thank you. I'm fine, thanks."

"When you're done, Boss wants to talk to you. I'll wait here in your room."

"Ok." Maybe I can tell him about what's happening. I doubt he can do anything. Cain seems like he's in charge since the 'Boss' is not here. Dante, Ian and Axel said they're not a part of the mafia or a gang but they do participate in illegal activity. Are these men the same?

I was so naive to ever think that they only kill people who deserve it. No one is ever just good. Everyone's got bad in them and involving in murder and torture is never a good sign.

I scrub myself with the bath sponge and wash my hair. I dry off and wrap the towel around me. I open the bathroom door a tiny bit and see Finn sitting on my bed. If he sees me like this, he'll know what happened. Number 11 will make sure I meet the same fate over and over again. Maybe even worse, if possible. If I'm lucky enough they'll accidentally kill me and rid me of my suffering.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I walk over to the wardrobe, trying not to act any different. Every step I take feels like a mission. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't killing me slowly.

"Lexi?" I stiffen as I hear him step closer to me. "Talk to Boss then I'll talk to you after." I turn around, one hand on the towel and the other taking the phone off Finn. He's definitely seen everything on my body.

"Hello?" I whisper into the phone.

"Hi Lexi. How are you feeling?" Definitely the same man that came into my room. I'd remember his voice any day.

"I'm feeling good, thank you," I lie.

"The men treating you well? Sorry I couldn't be there with you. Something urgent came up and I needed to leave."

"No it's fine, don't worry. Yeah everyone is treating me well." Lies. All lies.

"Ok. If you need anything, make sure to tell Finn so he can call me."

"Ok, thank you." I give the phone back to Finn, who hangs up and walks closer to me. With every step he takes forward, I take one back.

"Tell me what happened," he commands. If I tell him, there's no way he can stop twenty men from hurting me. They'll overpower him any day. His blue eyes remain on my battered body. I must look horrific. As if something registers in his head, his eyes widen as he steps closer and barely touches the imprints of the metal studs. "Oh my god," he breathes out. As the seconds pass, he begins shaking his head and pacing the room. "I knew it. I fucking knew- how did I not see it?"

Finn sits on the bed, gesturing for me to do the same. "I'm sorry, Lexi. You need to listen to me. I need a few days and we can get out of here. Boss had you kidnapped for revenge on your boyfriends. He was treating you well so he could manipulate you into living the rest of your life with him, which would destroy the lives of your boyfriends. If you didn't cooperate, he would have tortured you and forced you."

Why is he just telling me this now? He could've prevented me going down to the kitchen yet he led me right to them.

"These men want revenge. I didn't think that they were going to torture you. I never wanted this. They're just as bad as the men who hurt their families. I need to head out for a few days and get everything ready. I don't want you getting hurt but you need to hold on for a bit. You just need to act like I don't know anything. I really thought that Boss would try to help you out with your problems. He knows what it's like. I need the numbers of your boyfriends so we can organise something."

He's actually going to help me out. Or so he says. Does he just expect me to go through more torture as if it's nothing? Does he even know the extent to which they hurt me? Ruined me? But maybe it's worth it just to escape. Or they might just finish the job.

I still have a few days to endure torture then I can be free. I can only hope that I'll survive. I write down the numbers of Dante, Ian and Axel on a small piece of paper and hand it over to Finn. He instructs me to go back to the bathroom and pretend he never saw anything.

He leaves the room while I'm still in the bathroom. I pretend to dry myself off and wrap the towel around me as I walk out of the room. Number 11 is closing the door and locking it, unaware that I've walked out of the bathroom. I could go back and lock myself in.

"Well, well, well. Looks like we have some time to kill before I head back to prepare the chamber for tomorrow. What should we do?" he taunts, eyeing me up and down. He's going to rape me again. I know he is. I should've locked myself in when I had the chance.

"Take off the towel and kneel." I follow his instructions, taking off the towel and kneeling. I hate feeling so exposed. "Are you hungry?" I shake my head. "Let me reword that. You are hungry and you will eat."

I gulp as he begins to unzip his pants, pulling out his dick. No wonder he hurt me more than Cain. He's so much bigger and stronger, which is scary. He grips my hair and pulls it back aggressively before shoving himself in my mouth.

He shoves my head forward and backwards roughly, causing me to gag at how deep he's pushing. With each shove forward, he pushes so hard that my nose comes into contact with his body and I feel him halfway down my throat. I can't breathe. I'm barely able to take breaths through my nose everytime he pulls back.

"If you keep gagging, I might cum too early." Saliva begins falling from my mouth as he continues thrusting in me. Weakly, I attempt to push him away, finding it harder and harder to breathe.

Finally, he releases in me, covering my nose and mouth, forcing me to swallow everything. I almost vomit as his fluids slide down my throat. "Be grateful you ate. If you're lucky you can eat again at the end of the day. None of the guys want to see you so you'll be staying here until tomorrow. It might be the last time you see the room so make the most of it."

He storms out of the room, leaving me shaking and weak.

I've suffered enough in this world. Why am I suffering more? What did I do to deserve any of this? I want it all to end. I won't make it by the end of a few days. They must have something around here. A razor, a knife, anything.

I can't do this anymore. I can't go through anymore pain or torture or rape. This was only the first of many days and I can't do it. I'm not strong enough to live with the future result of this. It will haunt me and drive me to the point of insanity.

Forcing myself off the floor, I begin searching for anything to use. There's nothing in the wardrobe and nothing in the drawers. I move onto the bathroom. Nothing in the shower or near the toilet. Where was that razor I saw on the first day here?

I open the only cupboard in the room and find some lotions and soaps and finally, the razor. With trembling hands, I begin breaking the razor apart, successfully separating the blades from the plastic.

The blade may be small, but if I cut deep enough, it will serve its purpose. Thinking about the pain caused by my dad and my family and these men and every single person who left me and rejected me because I was broken, I slash the blade across my left wrist, pushing as hard as I can, releasing every bit of pain and anguish into it.

If not even Dante, Ian and Axel could help me, that means I was an unnecessary burden on them. They deserve someone who can help themselves, someone who is whole. Not even the three strongest men on earth could accept me, so no one else will.

I want them to know that I'm grateful that they came into my life and they deserve the best.

The agonising pain results in a blood curdling scream to escape from me as I allow myself to finally give in to the pain and welcome the black spots filling my vision.

Goodbye world.

______________________________________

Hey guys,

I'm sorry Lexi... the reality is some people can't see an escape or a way out and it's so sad.

Until next time...